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Date Posted: 13:29:09 02/24/06 Fri
Author: Sylvia Mohr Bartlett
Subject: For Which We Are Truly Thankful Ch 2
In reply to: Sylvia Mohr Bartlett 's message, "For Which We Are Truly Thankful Ch 2" on 13:23:56 02/24/06 Fri

FOR WHICH WE ARE TRULY THANKFUL

PART 2: MAC’S BACK - SEND FOR THE MARINES

by Sylvia Bartlett Mohr


Harm Rabb had an easy grin on his face as he walked into the bullpen this Monday morning. He had spent the evening with Colonel Sarah MacKenzie after picking her up when her ship came into port. He shook his head at the thought. He’d picked his Marine up from the Seahawk, but it was ‘her’ ship this time, not his. How life changes yet stays the same, he mused. Some things are constant as the stars - military separations from friends and loved ones in times of war for one. If he didn’t mind admitting it to himself, Mac was both a friend and a loved one to him. He had missed her so much since she had taken Singer’s place he could hardly stand the two weeks dragging past, but now she was home and all seemed right with the world. She had seemed grateful when he suggested he pick her up when the ship pulled in port, bring her to his place and make them dinner. After eating, she’d fallen asleep on his couch and he had carried her to his bed, than made up the couch to spend the night on. She’d woken up in the early morning hours - he turned over in his sleep and woke to find her standing over him…staring at him with those beautiful brown pools of tender depth that were her eyes and he had felt like his world was complete. Everything made more sense when she was near.

He could admit to himself what he was feeling now. But how could he convince Sarah it was true? He had blown so many chances with her. God, please…it couldn’t be too late for them to have a chance. He had to make up so much to her, before he dared finally tell her how he felt. So even this morning, when she had knelt next to him and tenderly touched his face…he’d been careful to make no demands. He only told her how glad he was she was home…and how he had missed her every moment she was away.

Her happy smile seemed to suggest that was enough. He had to make sure it was enough for him, too. Until she was ready to hear more, he would take this slow. So much to make up for…..

Harm wasn’t even aware the object of his thoughts was standing in the door of her office, grinning at his absent minded entrance into the area. “Penny for your thoughts, Commander?” Mac broke his reverie.

A soft chuckle was his response. “I don’t think they are specific enough to be worth that much, Mac.”

They had agreed to him dropping her off at her place after the early morning jog they took in the cold DC air, so she could shower and change into her uniform and drive herself in. Explaining her sleepover might have been a bit tricky….even though it had been entirely too innocent for at least one part of Harm’s ego!

“I’ll risk it…” She continued to offer, regarding the small change for his thoughts.

“Just really glad you’re back, Colonel. I can use the relief to my work load.” Harm retorted safely.

Mac laughed. “Even if you wind up opposing me in court???”

“Even if I wind up arguing a case in front of you, Marine.” He responded firmly. “Not that it would make me slack off my attack any if I was opposing you…”

“Ha! Like I would ask you to go easy…” the natural easy banter that had once typified their work conversations was back. He hadn’t realized how much he had missed it for so long…..


“Commander Rabb?” Tiner called from the door to the anteroom to Chegwidden’s office. “The Admiral would like you in here, ASAP, sir.”

“Only me?” He inquired, with a slight frown, his eyes meeting Mac’s.

“For the moment, sir.” Tiner responded and went to make copies of some papers in his hands.

Harm set his briefcase and cover in his office, just inside the door, pointed at Mac and said. “See, you later…jarhead.”

“Not if I see you first.” She smiled and went back into her office to look at paperwork that had accumulated during her absence.



In just a couple of moments, Harm was knocking at his CO’s door.

“Enter, Commander.” AJ’s voice responded.

Harm opened the door and was surprised to see Sturgis and Chaplain Turner, Sturgis’ father already seated in comfortable chairs in front of the fireplace in the office. The admiral was standing near the mantle and indicated an empty chair as Harm came to attention briefly. “At ease, Rabb. Have a chair.”

“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. Sturgis,” a nod at his friend from Academy days, then turning to the other man present with a slightly quizzical smile, “…Chaplain Turner, good to see you again, sir.”

“Hello, Commander Rabb. You look better than I expected. My son seemed to think you haven’t been sleeping well, but you look rested today…”

“Your son worries too much, Chaplain. And, well, last night was a good night, sir.” Harm looked at his CO with a confused expression. “Is anything wrong, sir?”

Chegwidden smiled reassuringly. “Wrong, Commander? Gee, a guy sees his best friend and a chaplain in his CO’s office waiting for him; why would he think something was wrong? Nothing’s wrong, Commander Rabb. It seems Chaplain Turner has a request of you and his son, but he wants me present for BACK up, for some reason.”

The Chaplain had the good grace to look a bit embarrassed. “Admiral, I didn’t actually say 'back up'…I just hoped asking them here, in front of you, would overcome any initial reluctance either of them might have at my request.”

Now there was a degree of uncertainty and unease in both the younger men’s expressions. “Dad?” Sturgis began.

“Stand down, Commander Turner. Your father has the floor.” AJ insisted firmly.

Chaplain Turner stood slowly, leaning on his cane. “I’ve been asked to handle the Thanksgiving services at the Chapel this year and I was thinking the other day of the marvelous numbers you arranged and you and my son sang several times at the Academy all those years ago, Harm. Sturgis told me not long ago you still play harmonica and guitar.”

Rabb gulped with obvious discomfort. “Just for my own enjoyment, sir. I haven’t sung in front of others, well, large groups…audiences…or played in front of them…for years.”

“Dad…” Sturgis said in a warning tone.

The Admiral shot a look at the young black officer that made him silent immediately.

“Sturgis tells me you organized a band while back on flight duty that performed both for the ship and in ports of call a number of times. And the Chaplain from that ship is an old friend of mine who very much enjoyed your special arrangement of the Navy Hymn. He wrote me about it because he remembered my son and I knew you. He even sent a tape.”

Harm was growing pale and his hands gripped the arms of the chair so tightly his knuckles had turned white. He gulped again, opened his mouth for a moment, than shut it, saying nothing…waiting to hear where this was going.

The Admiral looked at Rabb appraisingly. He was beginning to understand why the Chaplain had asked to make the request in his presence. Something was very much askew here. The aviator turned lawyer was ordinarily so confident in his abilities; his reaction did not seem much in keeping with the man.

“Harm, I have 3 hymns I would like you to arrange for guitar and two voices…into some sort of medley, if you will. For the service, just before my sermon.” The Chaplain hurried to get the rest of his request out. “I thought you and Sturgis could perform them…and that you could close the service singing that special arrangement of…”

“Chaplain Turner, I never claimed that arrangement was mine, sir. It is from a book of Celtic music I got my hands on when I was overseas. I would have to get permission to perform it at the chapel…and, it is very unorthodox, not the typical Navy arrangement. The crowd that comes to the chapel services tends to be very traditional Navy. They might object to the use of that rendition. I might be able to come up with some sort of original arrangement of the hymns for you, sir…but you are not giving me much time.”

“I can arrange a lighter case load between now and Thanksgiving, if that is necessary, Commander.” The admiral put in firmly.

“And Music Director Weston from the Naval Academy has offered to assist you with getting any necessary authorizations for the performances and use of the arrangements…” Chaplain Turner added smoothly.

“We have been set up, my friend.” Sturgis commented to Harm softly, but catching the irritated expression on Chegwidden’s face, he added more loudly. “No disrespect intended, sir…Dad.”

“So, it is final.” Admiral Chegwidden ruled clearly. “Commander Rabb…if you need any help, let me know. I’m sure I can find someone to assist you.”

“Admiral…this is a request.” The Chaplain said mildly. “I am ASKING the boys to volunteer…”

Chegwidden broke in. “From you, it is a request, sir. If necessary, I WILL make it an order…”

“That isn’t necessary, Admiral. I will be happy to do the best I can to oblige the Chaplain.” Harm said, but his unease was still evident. “In spite of the kind things the Chaplain has said, this is NOT really my area of expertise, but I’ll try to come up with something worthy. What are the hymns you have in mind, sir?”

The older Turner handed Harm a slip of paper, with a slightly apologetic expression. “Son, I didn’t realize you still felt this much discomfort using your musical gifts to please others. I am sorry if I…”

Harm interrupted awkwardly. “Please, Chaplain. No apology is needed. I just hope I can carry this off without completely embarrassing you and the Admiral with my results. I know Sturgis can harmonize with me just fine, but again this…” He shrugged, helplessly. “I’m just not that confident about my ability to handle this kind of situation.”

“You will do fine, Harmon. You have a true gift for music, even if you don’t admit it to yourself.”

Harm looked down at the ground, stood and said to his commanding officer. “If that will be all, sir, I have paperwork that needs seeing to. Chaplain Turner…you always challenge me to stretch myself. I hope I can live up to the faith you are placing in me.”

“Dismissed, Commanders. Chaplain, I’d like to visit awhile if you don’t have to rush off.”

“I’d like that, Admiral…” The older man replied, smiling and relaxing now that his request was accepted by both young men.


After Harm and Sturgis cleared the door to Tiner’s outer office, Sturgis spoke up immediately. “Sorry, buddy. I, in no way, meant to be part of that sandbagging. If it helps my defense, I had no idea what this morning was about. When Dad said he wanted to come in and see the Admiral, I just brought him in. Want me to strangle him when I take him home?” His tone was somewhat whimsical, but his eyes regarded Harm with flat out worry about how their friendship would handle this.

“Hell, no, pal. I can’t blame your Dad. He’s made it perfectly clear over the years he thought I used my ‘musical talents’ as he calls them far too seldom. He told me once, not too long ago, that God did not give us any of our gifts or abilities for us to sit on them or use them for ‘recreational’ purposes, but rather to use them to the glory of God and the edification of others. He can’t help it, Sturgis. He is a sky pilot after all. They always want to aim us higher, faster, harder and better in every aspect of our lives…if they are any good at all. The truth is your Dad is damn good at this chaplaincy thing.” Rabb sighed. “In a way, I don’t even mind him asking us…at least he didn’t try and make me do this all alone up there.”

“Oh, so you appreciate the fact he roped me into this, too.” Turner’s tone was light and just a shade sarcastic.

“Hey. Turn about is fair play. Misery loves company. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Do unto others….”

The black officer cut in. “Enough clichés, Harm. Point made. It’s just Dad pulls this stuff on me even more than on you, man, and I have always squirmed under that part of his thumb on me. I don’t have the ghosts you do, though. I don’t want this to add to your little evening escapades with Freddy…”

Now Rabb’s laugh was genuine… “Good lord, the day PK Sturgis refers to a Nightmare on Elm Street character in a conversation is surely the start of Armageddon.”

“No, that’s another movie. You must be the cowboy character in that one.” Turner was trying to keep things light now, but his concern was still very real. “Harm, seriously, if you want me to, Admiral or no Admiral, I will try and talk to my dad about what he’s done and how it may affect you.”

“Sturgis,” Commander Rabb broke in urgently, “don’t even think about it. From the way Chegwidden was looking at me, he’s already got a sense that something is amiss with my reaction. If you get him going… God, is there even a statue of limitations on what happened all those years ago? I don’t want our CO digging in to this, my friend. I’ll cope with the Chaplain’s request. Don’t worry. I can handle it. I don’t think the ghosts of Christmas past will be coming to haunt me.”

The two now stood outside the door to Harm’s office. “Okay, my friend. I’ll stand down. But I am going to be watching your six carefully. If you need help, ask. Don’t let things escalate to a full blown catastrophic meltdown.”

“I won’t.” Harm promised, but his eyes would not quite meet the other man’s. “I’ve got things to do. See you later, Commander.” He went into his office, immediately closing the door and the blinds, which made Sturgis frown, with deepening concern. His father may have blundered into a hornet’s nest. It might be winter, but would that keep the buggers at rest or would his friend fall victim to a terminal barrage of stings?


Alone at last, Harm went and sat at his chair, he dropped the paper he had balled in his fist as the two men left Chegwidden’s office together on the desk and covered his face with trembling hands, resting his elbows on the desktop. His shoulders shook with shudders as he got chillier and chillier. Unbidden images from long ago paraded before his mind’s eye and his eyes welled up with tears at the re-awakening pain. The particular demons this escapade had caused him had lain dormant for so long now, he was frightened by how intensely and rapidly they coursed back in to chase his soul and tear at the fabric of his being. Protests to his friend aside, the former aviator wondered if he had the grit to handle another bout with these memories. They had almost destroyed him, his career - before it had really begun, even his very life…so long ago. How could it be they were still this overpowering?

Unwilling, another thought sprang to his mind. The memory of a dear face, brown eyes welling with concern. God. Sarah…. How indeed could he ever ‘let her in’? All he had to offer the woman he loved was very damaged goods indeed. No one knew just how screwed up he REALLY was…..sometimes even he forgot some of the bitter details. What good was a man like him to any one, least of all a certain kick butt Marine Colonel? Conveniently mislaid in his o’er-weaning appraisal of himself were the many crosses Mac bore as well. His thoughts were turned bleakly inward towards a blizzard of terrifying proportions. He choked down a half sob.


Suddenly the door opened, unannounced. Mac looked at the man she loved with growing concern. His color was ashen, his hands trembled where they pressed against his face and his shoulders were shuddering. “Harm... what is it? What’s wrong? What did the admiral want? Has something happened to your mother, Frank…? Sergei?” There was real fear in her voice.

Desperately fighting for some control, Rabb lowered his hands and raised his eyes. “No, Mac... It’s nothing. Really… it’s nothing serious. I…I just had a moment of bad deja vu is all. Nothing bad, except severe performance anxiety. Chaplain Turner just finagled the Admiral to assist him in calf-roping Sturgis and me into performing some special numbers for him in chapel come Thanksgiving.” He tried to put a brave face on it. “I’m okay, Marine, really. It’s just…”

Mac was puzzled now. “Surely it’s a great honor to be asked to perform this way. You both have great voices, sing well together and, Harm, you play guitar beautifully. Chloe still talks about that campfire sing a long you led when you and Sturgis took us fishing and camping this fall. It was so much fun…and that one little ditty you made up on the spot… Lord, she actually remembers the whole thing. Sometimes when we talked on the phone when I was on the Seahawk, she would sing it to me.”

“Yeah, well, this isn’t a campfire sing a long, Mac. It’s in church - in front of all our peers and associates and Lord knows who else. The Sec Nav has even been to that chapel on occasion. And the Chaplain has very specific requests. It’s not like I have a lot of prep time either.” Talking to her was helping. He was beginning to think of the more pleasant aspects and possibilities lain before him…pushing his fears aside for when the darkness could reclaim him. He knew the memories and fears would come back. That’s how the game of his life played out in private. But, this might not be a total disaster. He picked up the paper and began to carefully smooth it out of its crumpled, damp wad.

“Are they at least songs you know?” The Colonel asked, encouraged that Harm seemed to be relaxing and coming out of the panic she had seen claiming him.

Rabb laughed as he admitted, “I haven’t even looked at them yet…” His eyes scanned the brief list and his expression brightened. “Hey, this may not be so bad. Maybe I won’t have to write an entirely original arrangement; maybe I can combine existing ones I know and come up with the medley he’s asking for…. Yeah.” He nodded and relief began to flow through his 6’4” frame. “This could work.” He looked up at his friend and partner. “Thanks, Mac… you’ve ridden to my rescue yet again. You must have aced the life guarding course at Quantico.”

“When in doubt, send for the Marines…” Mac grinned at him.

“Don’t I know it…?” He responded, gazing into her eyes. “Especially you, Sarah. You just don’t give up on me, do you?”

Mac grew more serious, her eyes widening at the near adoration being directed at her. “Easy, Commander… we are going to have a Kodak moment here.”

“So I’ll buy more film.” He retorted. “You always rescue me.” With complete sincerity, he said gently. “I don’t tell you this often enough, ninja girl, but thank you. You always watch my six and come over the hill with the cavalry in the nick of time. What would I do without you?”

“It’s more like Force Recon than the cavalry, fly boy…. And you’ll never have to find out what you’d do without me.” She assured him, simply.

“From your mouth to God’s ear.” His voice had fallen to a near whisper.

“Hey…it’s the mutual aide society here, Harmon Rabb Jr. You’ve rescued me a time or two as well, you know.”

Harm looked back down at the paper on the desk, shrugging off her point. “I think you are a few up on me, Colonel. Well, I better jot down some notes, while I have them in my head.” His eyes immediately came back up to lock once more with hers before he turned to his efforts. “I meant every word, Sarah. I really did.”

She smiled, a little sad at how quickly he wanted to be strong again. “I know it, sailor. I know…. I’ll leave you to it now…”

And she was gone from his door, but the sunshine she had cast continued to lighten his heart.

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