<font color=khaki>(He felt like he was cheating himself and most of all her, for trying to be the man that he so consistently failed to be in life. He had failed miserably as a teen to find comfort in a loving relationship with her, and now that he was an adult he was finding it hard to give himself to her still. There was always a little part of him that he never handed over, the part that guarded what precious pride he had left and refused to let someone coddle or carry him when he felt weak. Sure he let her tend to him when he was ill, but he never really let himself go.. he was always holding back.) What if I am not comfortable with that? (He asked in a voice that was almost a whisper. He knew if he let her under his skin he wouldn't be able to move on after this mission was over.. but something within him selfishly wanted that.)</font> -- :. Extra Board .:

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Date Posted: 19:52:04 01/17/06 Tue
Author: Remy
Subject: (He felt like he was cheating himself and most of all her, for trying to be the man that he so consistently failed to be in life. He had failed miserably as a teen to find comfort in a loving relationship with her, and now that he was an adult he was finding it hard to give himself to her still. There was always a little part of him that he never handed over, the part that guarded what precious pride he had left and refused to let someone coddle or carry him when he felt weak. Sure he let her tend to him when he was ill, but he never really let himself go.. he was always holding back.) What if I am not comfortable with that? (He asked in a voice that was almost a whisper. He knew if he let her under his skin he wouldn't be able to move on after this mission was over.. but something within him selfishly wanted that.)
In reply to: Remy 's message, "I treated you bad, you bruised my face
Couldn't love you more, you've got a beautiful taste

Don't let the days go by
Could've been easier on you
I couldn't change though I wanted to.." on 13:17:39 01/14/06 Sat

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She let out a soft breath at that, her heart breaking with the words. She swallowed heavily as she bit her lip, thinking over her reply before she spoke. "Then...I'll just be another job to you and we probably shouldn't be sharing a bed." She murmured quietly, her brow furrowed as she tried to figure out how this had all turned out so bad. She couldn't have him here next to her though and not touch him, not be with him. It just hurt to bad. If they were done, really done, he needed to be out sleeping on the couch, not next to her. There couldn't be anymore small touches or long glances, it would have to be complete professional otherwise she would just lose it. (NT) -- Shay, 19:59:54 01/17/06 Tue

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