<center><i><font color=khaki>I'm trying to keep my intentions disguised and now I'm deprived of my conscience and somethings got to give... deprived of my conscience and something's got to give..</font></i></center> -- :. Extra Board .:

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Date Posted: 18:51:06 01/10/06 Tue
Author: Remy
Subject: I'm trying to keep my intentions disguised and now I'm deprived of my conscience and somethings got to give... deprived of my conscience and something's got to give..
In reply to: Shay 's message, " Remember the warmth of days gone by when you were mine... " on 18:41:49 01/10/06 Tue

(Her words had cut him like a knife, worse than any injury he had recieved in the battlefield, from gunshots to explosions.. nothing had ached that sharp and that deep. To know that she saw him irrevocably altered by life reinforced his decision to remain distant from her. She deserved those memories, unaltered by the worthless man he'd become. He felt suddenly and irresponsibly unfit to lay beside her, and got up from where he was lounging, moving over to the window and sitting down in the chair there, propping his legs up on the dresser and leaning back, looking at her through eyes so dark they dissolved into the darkness of the room. He'd survived hours of torture from trained professionals and not spilled a word.. he could survive the same from her, even if her words cut deeper than the blade of a knife. He stayed silent, because it was easier to brood in pain silently than to acknowledge that pain with biting words of recourse, or worse by silently pulling her into his arms as he had felt overwhelmingly urged to do.)

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She tossed and turned for a good forty minutes, unable to sleep with him in the room just watching her. It was awkward and uncomfortable and in a way - it hurt. Never had he been so distant in both the physical and emotional sense. Even before they were a couple they'd had sleepovers and always she had been tucked into his arms. He was so different now, even physically, would she even fit in his arms the same way? A low breath escaped her lip as she leaned up, pounding the pillow beneath her and flopping down onto it before she finally, another fifteen minutes later, sat up and clutched the pillow to her chest. "Damn it, I can't sleep with you just sitting there and staring at me!" She growled out, her brow furrowed. She had an important day and it was already after one a.m. and she had to be up at six. (NT) -- Shay, 19:09:16 01/10/06 Tue

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