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Date Posted: 21:00:12 03/05/09 Thu
Author: Officer Torch
Subject: Ground Control to Major Tom....and Sergeant Tim

Attention ...this is ground control to Major Tom: Report to the palace guard Captain for a special express flight plan tonight for Mongo.
You will be transporting a Sergeant Tim and deliver him to the High Priest, who will be waiting for you near the sacred gong.(See photo above.) Orders are to cuff the prisoner so he does not cause trouble or escape.

Attention...Sergeant Tim. Apparently Sergeant Time's father (Father Time) has connections and was upset you failed to leave equipment for the week...especially flashlight for Day 1. I'll try to intercede for you, but the High Priest has clout on Mongo so long as he refrains from babbling about Tao to Ming at the wrong time. For some reason, you've upset the High Priest. He suspects you think the gong's frequency and loud decibel level adversely affecting his mental capacity. The High Priest may show you a Woodie Wouldpekker cartoon to show you what bad really is (to know he is not like that).

In any case, you're to spend 3 days with him, to polish the gong to a brilliant luster and check if it's in tune using a giant metal tuning fork while it is struck repeatedly. (Ear protection headsets are forbidden.) He will also lecture you at length, during and after your chores, and cackle often. He also sells hearing aids at a 10% discount. If he gives you a verbal quiz, and talks quietly, suggest you agree to purchase the device. It's one of those as-seen-on-televisor kind of things.

Tim...if you've any comments, now is the time. This was not expected, but...well, I can say no more at this time. As Emperor Ming's right hand man, I'd like to inquire of the High Priest as to any comments he may have concerning this matter, and if this issue can be expunged. WE LOOK FORWARD TO THE HIGH PRIEST'S COMMENTS SOON.

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Replies:

[> Re: Ground Control to Major Tom....and Sergeant Tim -- Sergeant Tim, 00:21:14 03/06/09 Fri [1]

Aye, but before being transported to Mongo by Major Tom, this Sergeant wishes to present his defense to the Sire Ming. A flashlight was indeed left on Mongo, but apparently it was mistaken for a giant Mongo firefly and eaten by one of the hungry Planet of Peril lizards wandering into the tunnels. I know this happened, as I recall it occurred about the same time that my dog ate my homework.

Also, recent studies have indicated that prolonged close exposure to the echoes of the gong and tuning fork can result in a catatonic condition similar to what befell the Professor of the Island of Gilligan when he was under a voodoo curse. For any who have not seen that one, it will be shown immediately following the Woody Woodpecker cartoon.

So now this Sergeant awaits to see if he will be sent on a space oddity and once again be The Prisoner of Mongo, or if the next reel will open a new chapter entitled Sergeant Tim Escapes. Commencing countdown, engines on?

Sergeant Tim


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[> Re: Ground Control to Major Tom....and Sergeant Tim -- Officer Torch, 19:49:47 03/06/09 Fri [1]

Sergeant Tim...Emperor Ming heard your defense statement, sans counsel. You must be cautious when speaking. He picks up every detail and dissects each remark. Word has it you are heading to the High Priest on Mongo. Ming wondered: that you might be a pirate from earth since you often say "Aye." He was also suspicious you used the word "dog" since here it is dogron (like tigron). Besides, no dogrons are allowed in areas you visited. Moreover, homework eating would indicate negligence or a lie on your part.

The givaway perhaps was your misspelling our cartoon character... Woodie Wouldpekker. Based on earth's but ours is spelled differently, he's more hyperactive/jumpy, a real troublemaker, has Roman like garb..skirt, sandles, centurion headpiece, a small sword, and eyeballs which bulge out and spiral significantly with loud noise. Our youngsters enjoy violent cartoons--Ming encourages them. Notables such as Tarnak, Zandar, Toran, the High Priest treasured them as youngsters. The priest uses them today sometimes in his teachings...a character he enjoys who you misspelled using earth's celebrity. Also, there is no knowledge of an "Island of Gilligan" here.

I suspect you will be interrogated at length by the High Priest, and spy charges could be brought against you. Perhaps and hopefully, this has been blown out of proportion and is a misunderstanding. (Father Time has powerful connections here and is vindictive.) Perhaps things can be resolved with the High Priest, but we must wait to hear from him. Escape is a difficult option. Oh, regretfully, your 100 Mingol gift card was cancelled. Good luck and best regards.


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[> Re: Ground Control to Major Tom....and Sergeant Tim -- Sergeant Tim, 22:39:58 03/06/09 Fri [1]

It looks like this Sergeant may be heading to Mongo, and with no 100 Mingol gift card! (and they say don't leave Mars without it).

Gilligan can occasionally be picked up on a televisor on Mars. Different story on Mongo though.

Sergeant Tim


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