| Subject: Its been so hard readjusting, how about you? |
Author:
Carrie
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Date Posted: 24/03/06 17:46:46-0800
It seems like tests have been coming fast and furious. The kind that want to suck me into the life "before pilgrimage" (BP). Wake up in the middle of a "crisis" quick prayers, on auto pilot, rush, rush rush. "Its ok, I'll make up for it 'later'". No! I wasn't going to do that. OK! Tomorrow, I will take more time! Tomorrow comes, and booooomb! Same thing.
Finally dawning on me, I am in control of this. Set the alarm earlier. Refuse to "react" without having said "MY" prayers. Focus. Bring myself back to THE SHRINE. Bask in that place. Let the tears fall, feel the Presence. Feel the love. Now, say the prayers and then RUSH, if I still feel the need.
Last night I was sharing with a friend, who was not a Baha'i, our trip. "It was beautiful" blah, blah, blah. When she interrupted and said, "Tell me something I need to know." !!! OH! Ah! Then tears rolled down my face spontaneously, "God lives and loves" Tears poured down her face, too. OH! She said, "Thank-you!"
Me: It was so hard to leave, almost too hard. I want to go back.
Her: But don't you think that you were supposed to leave and come back here with that message? DOn't you think that's an important message? If everyone stays there, how will we know that message?
WOW! WOW! WOW!
Isn't that what the Master said in His message to the pilgrims? What the Universal House of Justice told us? What Furio reminded us?
Okay, so I won't put in my application to serve right away (have too many bills, anyway) but someday, Inshalla, that is where I will end my days, as long as I can serve.
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