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Date Posted: 02:12:47 05/10/06 Wed
Author: --Look past the cover
Subject: How it feels

So this is what it feels like:
You think they like you, and you start to like them back, you beleive all the lies they tell you, believe that they really and truely want you. You give them what they want, and then, its done. They got what they want, and you're left there, heartbroken, ashamed, emarassed and engulfed in regret.

Now I know many of you have not experienced this feeling, I hope to God that no one has ever had to experience this feeling. I feel this every day of my life. I made mistakes, just like we all have. Peoples mistakes are personal, not meant to be shared with the world, yet for some God-beknown reason, they are. And it hurts, truely hurts, when you find stuff about yourself on the internet-true or not-or having stuff whispered and mummbled about you under peoples breath as you walk by them. People you used to call your friends, those who you hung out with, went shopping with, drove around for the hell of it type of friend. And it hurts when you know for a fact that those people who you used to call your freinds, are the ones who started this stuff in the first places.

Now i used to be very critical of people, judging a book by its cover, or by what people told me about them. I was like a spongue, and I absorbed it all. I didnt give people the benefit of the doubt, and now as I sit here, and I wish I wasnt that type of person, but rather someone who gave others a chance to prove who they really are. This realization comes because I am that book that is being judged by the cover, and I am the one who is not being given a chance to prove what an awesome person I am. I am only known to some as "the girl who slept with him" and I am not that person anymore, nor do I want to be refered to as that.

I just want people to keep an open mind. These sites are very incrimintating and really dampen a persons self esteem. After talking with a friend tonight, I realized that they are not worth the tears that some of us shed. We are so much better than that, and we deserve to respect outselves more. Much more.

I know that it is relief to get this out. One less night of tears for me...

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