| Subject: Episode 15: Salem Bitch Trails - The Discovery |
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Date Posted: 13:25:53 05/02/02 Thu
EPISODE 15: THE SALEM BITCH TRIALS
SCENE ONE: Group lands in a small town in the 1600s. They are wearing peasant clothing.
ASHE
Let me guess, we're in Hell
(Ellie and Sam glare at him)
What?
ALEC
Maybe someone here will be able to help us
ASHE
(Sees Richard chasing a squirrel)
No one can help us....can we "accidently" loose Richard?
SAM
How do you propose we do that?
ASHE
Oh I don't know...I can accidently tie him to a tree
SAM
Accidently?
ASHE
What? I'd slip
SAM
(Rolls eyes)
Whatever...but Ellie actually has a conscience...she may not go along with it
ASHE
(To Ellie)
Whattia say, Ellie?
(She doesn't respond. Ellie is staring at something)
Ellie?
ALEC
Ashe, just forget it. Lets see what this town offers
ELLIE
We need to get out of this town
ALEC
What? Why?
ASHE
Because she wants take Richard into the woods so I can "accidently" tie him to a
tree...weren't you listening
ELLIE
(glares at Ashe)
No
ASHE
Then why?
ELLIE
(Points at the sign that said SALEM SQUARE)
ALEC
So?
ASHE
Oh please, you're not still staying with this "I'm a witch" theory, are you
ELLIE
I AM a witch...and these people will know
SAM
Relax Ellie. Just stick with your christian act and you'll be fine
(Ashe looks at Sam)
What? I don't really believe she's a witch
ALEC
You're a witch?
ASHE
No she's not
ELLIE
Could you say it any louder? I don't think the Salem people heard you!
SAM
Wow, you're really sticking with this
(Ellie watches the buildings of the town nervously)
ASHE
(To Ellie)
Could you not look so paranoid?! It reminds me of your LSD trip
ALEC
Stick with me, Ellie, I'll protect you
ELLIE
You? I'll take my chances
SAM
Yeah, I'm sure you're hubby will protect you
(Ellie makes a face at Sam. Town's people look at them suspiciously)
ELLIE
Something tells me that these people don't like outsiders
SAM
Really...what was your first clue?
ELLIE
Shutup, Evil Bitch Monster
ASHE
Well done, Wifey
ELLIE
Stop calling me that
SAM
(To Ellie)
You can't deny what you are
ELLIE
You can't deny what YOU are, bitch
SAM
Something I'm not ashamed of...can you say the same?
ELLIE
(Pauses and looks at Alec and Ashe)
I got nothin'
BETSY
Hey there stranger
(Winks at Ashe. Ashe shudders)
Where ya headed?
ALEC
We're on a quest
BETSY
Really? Tell me, maybe I can help
(Smiles at Ashe)
ASHE
Uh...(grabs Ellie and holds her tightly)...meet my wife (whispers to her)...go along with it, I'm
begging you
ELLIE
(Forces a smile and holds out her hand to Betsy)
...Hi, I'm Ellie...(Ashe nudges her. Through her teeth)...His wife
BETSY
Nice to meet you
ALEC
We're looking for this book...
ELLIE
Which has nothing to do with witchcraft...
BETSY
Witchcraft?
ASHE
Smooth, Ellie, real smooth
ELLIE
Sorry....I'm nervous
SAM
Ya think?!
BETSY
Is that because you ARE a witch?
ELLIE
Me? (Nervously)...A witch? What kind of question is that? I mean....really...me?...A witch?
BETSY
It's ok...I'm a witch too
SAM
You?
BETSY
Yes
SAM
A witch?
BETSY
Yes. In fact, I casted a spell just this morning
ALEC
Say what?
BETSY
This guy, Tristan, I asked him to go to the town's festival with me ...he turned me down
ASHE
Smart guy
BETSY
I casted a love spell on him
ASHE
Poor guy
ELLIE
A love spell?
BETSY
Yes
ELLIE
You can't just make someone love you
BETSY
Sure you can
ELLIE
No, that spell works on the first member of the opposite sex that they see once you've casted
it
BETSY
(Pauses)
I have to be going now
(She runs off)
ELLIE
She's not a witch
ALEC
How do you know?
ELLIE
Trust me, ok
ALEC
Ok...now can we find a hotel? It's going to be dark soon
ASHE
Rent a hotel room?
ALEC
Yeah, It's not hard to comprehend
ASHE
You do realize that our money is a little out-dated for this town
ALEC
We could still try it
ASHE
And end up behind bars...again?! How stupid are you?!
ALEC
Hey, I'm not the one who is friends with the lunatic ordering a tomb stone
ASHE
What? (Sees Richard ordering a tomb stone) Richard!
RICHARD
(Runs to Ashe holding a tomb stone) Hey Ashe-
ASHE
Richard, what are you doing?!
RICHARD
Look what they're selling. Pretty cool huh
ASHE
Richard, that's a REAL tomb stone
RICHARD
I know...check it out (Tosses it to Ashe. Ashe falls down from the weight)
ASHE
Ouch!
RICHARD
See, it's vintage
ASHE
(looks at Ellie from the ground)
Can I hurt him? PLEASE?!
ELLIE
Why do you even bother to ask at this point
SAM
(To Alec)
Isn't it nice that he asked the Wife for permission to spank the kid?
ASHE
(Pushes the tomb stone off of him. He gets up and sees a Saloon)
I need a drink
ALEC
I wouldn't do that if I were you
ASHE
Alec, when I want your opinion, I'll give it to you
ELLIE
Ashe, remember what happened the last time you had a drink
SAM
Yeah, you woke up married...maybe this time you'll wake up a father...(Looks at Ellie)...or
maybe it's too late for that
ASHE
(Glares at Sam)
You think that's funny?
(Sam smiled at Ashe)
ALEC
I certainly do
ASHE
Nobody was talking to you
ALEC
Like that matters
TRISTAN
(Sees Ellie and walks up to her)
I haven't seen you around here before. Where ya from?
ELLIE
(Mumbles)
The future
TRISTAN
What?
ELLIE
Uh...the frontier
TRISTAN
Darlin' this whole place is the frontier
ELLIE
Sorry, I'm a little tired from the trip, I guess
TRISTAN
I see...you folks travel far?
ASHE
You have no idea
TRISTAN
You got a place to stay?
ALEC
Not yet
TRISTAN
You're all welcome to stay at my place
ELLIE
That's awfully nice of you...are you sure you have the room?
ASHE
...we don't have money to pay you
TRISTAN
I've got plenty of room...and don't worry about the money...It'll be my pleasure
(They introduce themselves and follow Tristan)
Oh, I do have one favor to ask...
ELLIE
What's that?
TRISTAN
There is going to be a town festival tonight...would you accompany me? I'm trying to keep
my distance from this woman...
ASHE
This woman...would you say she has a voice like nails on a chalk board and is annoying
beyond all reason?
TRISTAN
Yeah...have you met her?
ASHE
Several times
TRISTAN
Well, I suggest you all find an escort...otherwise she'll be on you like flies on a horse's ass
ALEC
(smiles at Sam)
I'm covered
SAM
What makes you so sure?
ALEC
It's either me or Ashe
SAM
Right
ASHE
Wait...if Ellie's going with Tristan...who do I go with?
SAM
Well, I'm sure Betsy is still free
ASHE
Hell no!
TRISTAN
Relax...I have a sister who needs an escort
ASHE
That's not very comforting
TRISTAN
Here she comes now...(Mia walks over to Tristan and give him a hug)
SAM
What are the odds that he would luck out like this
ASHE
SCORE!!
TRISTAN
...Mia, I'd like you to meet some people. They're going to be staying with us for a while
(Puts and arm around Ellie's back)...This is Ellie, she's going to be escorting me to the festival
tonight
MIA
How nice of you...I was worried he wouldn't find anyone and be stuck with Bitchy
SAM/ELLIE
(Exchange glances)
Bitchy?
MIA
Oh, I'm sorry. That's not very appropriate is it...That's what Tristan and I refer to her as...fits
her well, we think
ASHE
(Eye's wide and mouth hanging open)
...It was meant to be...(Looks into the sky and mouths the words "Thank you")
TRISTAN
...and this is Sam, Alec, Richard, and...(Points to Ashe)...this is Ashe...he is willing to escort
you tonight
SAM
Willing? That's an understatement
ASHE
(Takes Mia's hand)
It would be my honor...
SAM
(Whispers to Ellie)
Shouldn't you be jealous? I mean, he's YOUR husband
ELLIE
(Looks at Tristan and smiles at Sam)
She can have him...I'm going to a festival with the hottest guy on our floor
SAM
News flash Ellie, we haven't been in our dorm room for months!
ELLIE
You're missing the point
SCENE TWO: Town Festival. All are dressed in appropriate clothing. Ellie and Mia are
wearing dresses. Sam is wearing pants.
TRISTAN
Thank you again, Ellie for escorting me tonight...you saved me from the wrath of Bitchy
ELLIE
The pleasure is all mine
TRISTAN
Where are your friends? Shouldn't they be ready by now?
MIA
I hope Ashley hasn't decided not to go...
SAM
Like that would ever happen
ELLIE
Oh, and...don't call him Ashley...he prefers Ashe
SAM
No, go ahead...call him that...then you'll find the joy in annoying him like I do
(Richard enters. He is wearing a white shirt with a black jacket and a long, laced skirt.)
Richard, what the hell is that?!
RICHARD
(Proudly)
I'm my own date
SAM
(Rolls eyes)
Congratulations
MIA
What is taking Ashe and Alec so long?
ELLIE
Ten bucks says we're waiting on Alec and his hair
(Ashe and Alec enter. Ashe looks rather annoyed and Alec looks upset)
ASHE
(Annoyed at Alec)
It's fine!!
ALEC
I don't know, man...(motions to his hair)...it's not holding right
ASHE
(Grabs a paddle) I'll fix it...
ALEC
You stay away from me...
ASHE
Alec...we're going to a festival, not the Golden Globe Awards
ALEC
Why don't these people have hair gel?!
ASHE
It hasn't been invented yet, moron!
ALEC
Ashe, could you dispense with the name calling...I'm a little sensitive right now
ASHE
(Staring at him)
You're a dork
ALEC
(See's Sam in pants)
You couldn't have worn a dress like the rest of the women...(See's Richard)...and Richard
SAM
I don't do dresses
ALEC
You don't do much of anything else, do you
(Ashe walks over to Mia. He stares at her for a moment)
MIA
Is something wrong?
ASHE
You look beautiful
ELLIE
He's really going to live this up, isn't he
SAM
I think I'm gonna be sick (Sees Alec still fiddling with his hair)...Would you stop that?!
ALEC
I don't have a good feeling about this...
RICHARD
You know Alec, if I were a woman...I'd think you were swell
ALEC
(Pauses and stares at Richard with a vacant expression)...Really?
SAM
That's it....I need to make you a man again
ELLIE
Since when did you care?
SAM
Richard is a child, and Ashe is hardly a man...Alec is our only hope...(Starts to walk
away)...Come on, Alec, lets go have sex
ALEC
(Looks at Ellie)
Well...I must be going now...
ELLIE
That's just wrong
TRISTAN
Are they always like that?
ELLIE
Pretty much
ASHE
Where are Alec and Sam going?
ELLIE
(Looks at Tristan)
They weren't really in a town festival sort of mood...
ASHE
Really? Oh well, they're loss
TRISTAN
Why didn't you tell him the truth?
ELLIE
The news could make him snap...now is not the time for that
(Bitchy walks over to Tristan and Ellie)
BITCHY
Hi Tristan
TRISTAN
(Shudders and turns to face Bitchy. Ellie is holding his arm)
ASHE
(Motions to Tristan. To Mia)
I like him...reminds me of me
BITCHY
So, this is who you chose to come with instead of me...
TRISTAN
...This is Ellie
BITCHY
(Glares at Ellie)
We've met...but I happen to know that she only arrived in town this afternoon and I asked
you this morning
TRISTAN
Yeah, about that...I didn't want to go with you
ASHE
Definitely like me
BITCHY
How could you go with her...she's a witch
TRISTAN
Don't be ridiculous...Ellie's not a witch...you're just jealous
BITCHY
(Stands on the stage)
Everyone, we have an unholy creature in our town!
(Town quiets down)
TRISTAN
(To Ellie)
This can't be good
ASHE
Don't worry...she's not a witch
ELLIE
These people accuse innocent people of witchcraft all the time...I'm dead
BITCHY
(Points to Ellie)
She's a Witch!
(Crowd looks at Ellie)
TRISTAN
She's lying! Ellie is not a witch!
(Town's people ignore Tristan and grab Ellie. Ashe and Tristan try to pull them off her but
there are too many people)
ELLIE
(Sees Bitchy smiling and waving to her as the town people drag Ellie away)
Oooo, you!! I'm coming back for you!!
( They take Ellie to the town jail. Alec and Sam return. Alec's hair is messed up and he is
smoking a cigar)
SAM
What'd we miss?
ASHE
We just lost Ellie
SAM
What?! Can't you and Alec keep Ellie from getting arrested just once?! I'm beginning to see
how you two are related
ASHE
I'll pretend I didn't hear that (See's Alec's hair)...Nice hair...were the bar whores playing with
it?
ALEC
No, just one
(Sam elbows him in the gut)
ASHE
Lets not go there...
TRISTAN
It's a shame...she was cute
ASHE
What are you talking about? You're not going to try and free her?
TRISTAN
And risk getting accused of a warlock?...I don't think so
ASHE
I thought you liked Ellie
TRISTAN
I did, but going against the town...she's not worth it
ASHE
Yes she is!
RICHARD
Yeah, Ashe...save your wife...
MIA
Wife?
ASHE
Don't listen to him...he was dropped on his had as a child...But we have to help Ellie...she's
innocent...(Looks at Alec and Sam)...isn't she?
SAM
Not according to her
MIA
You mean, she really IS a witch?
ALEC
That's what she says...
MIA
How could you associate with such evil?!
ASHE
(Looks at Sam)
I ask myself that every day...oh, you meant Ellie. Ellie isn't evil, she goes to bible camp
every year
RICHARD
It's called Creation...
ASHE
Whatever
ALEC
What are they going to do to her?
TRISTAN
Burn her, probably
ASHE
What?! (Looks at Sam and Alec)...We've got to do something
ALEC
(Looks at Sam)
We'll be right back
**TO BE CONTINUED**
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