| Subject: Episode 2.8: Under Your Skin |
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Date Posted: 08:07:09 01/21/03 Tue
LIFE IN GENERAL
SEASON TWO
EPISODE EIGHT: UNDER YOUR SKIN
THE SCENE OPENS WITH ELLIE RUNNING THROUGH THE FOREST. SHE SEEMS TO BE IN A BIT OF A PANIC AND FREQUENTLY LOOKS BEHIND HER. SHE TURNS AND RUNS INTO ELIJAH. SHE JUMPS AND YELLS AS ELIJAH HOLDS HER AND TRIES TO CALM HER DOWN.
ELIJAH
Shh, Ellie, calm down...it’s me
ELLIE
It’s right behind me...
ELIJAH LOOKS BEHIND ELLIE, THEN TAKES HER HAND
ELIJAH
Come on, we found a hide out
ELIJAH LEADS ELLIE INTO A SMALL CAVE
ELLIE
Are you sure there aren’t any dragons in here?
ELIJAH
No, they wouldn’t fit through the opening
ALEC RUNS OVER TO ELIJAH AND ELLIE FOLLOWED BY RICHARD
ALEC
Where are the others?
ELIJAH LOOKS OVER HIS SHOULDER AND OUT THE CAVE.
ELIJAH
I thought they were with you
ALEC
I got separated from Sam and Ashe. I was stuck with this nut who was trying to play fetch with the dragons
THEY LOOK AT RICHARD WHO IS SITTING ON A ROCK WITH HIS ARMS FOLDED.
RICHARD
They didn’t even go after it. Stupid dragons
ELLIE
Wait...so Ashe and Sam are together?
ELIJAH
Ouch
ELLIE
They’ll kill each other
ELIJAH
Assuming the dragons don’t do that first
ALEC
So what should we do?
ELIJAH
What can we do?
ELLIE
I hope they’re all right
SHOT FLIPS TO SAM AND ASHE WHO ARE HIDING BEHIND A HUGE BOULDER. SAM IS SCANNING THEIR SURROUNDINGS AND ASHE IS LOOKING OVER THE BOULDER.
SAM
Ashe, what are you doing?
ASHE
I can see it...its big...and kind of a shiny green. There’s two of them
SAM
What do you think you’re doing?! Stay down
ASHE
Relax, Sam....I’m handling the situation...
ASHE LOOKS AGAIN
ASHE
Okay, the second one just left. We’re left with the big green one
SAM
They’re all green, genius. How do you plan on handling the situation?
ASHE
Wait for it....
THE DRAGON TURNS AWAY AND LOOKS AS THOUGH IT’S GOING TO FLY AWAY
ASHE
Run!
SAM AND ASHE TAKE OFF IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION
SAM
This is it?! This was your brilliant plan?!
ASHE
It’s working so far...
SAM LOOKS BEHIND HER AND SEES THE DRAGON TURN TO SEE THEM. THE DRAGON SPREADS ITS WINGS AND HEADS FOR THEM
SAM
Is it?!
ASHE STOPS GRABS A ROCK AND THROWS IT AT THE DRAGON
SAM
Right, because that would work even better than running
ASHE
It worked for David when he fought Goliath
THE ROCK SMACKED THE DRAGON ON THE FOREHEAD AND IT ROARED AND FELL TO THE GROUND. ASHE AND SAM STARE AT IT SHOCKED
SAM
Whattia know, it worked
ASHE
It did? I mean...of...of course it did! I am the Colonel you know
SAM
Uh huh....
THEY HEAR A HIGH ROAR AND TURN AROUND TO SEE A HUGE PINKISH-PURPLE DRAGON IN THE AIR BEHIND THEM.
SAM
Pink? It’s pink!
ASHE
I am aware...
THE DRAGON ANGLES IT SELF SO THAT IT IS PERPENDICULAR TO THE GROUND. IT CURLS ITS WINGS SO THAT THE TIPS ARE POINTED AT SAM AND ASHE.
ASHE
That can’t be good
A BALL OF BLUE AND PINK ENERGY FORMS BETWEEN THE DRAGON’S WINGS.
SAM
I say we go with your plan again
ASHE
Right...
THEY RUN AWAY FROM THE DRAGON WHEN THEY SEE A LAKE.
ASHE
I’ve got an idea....
ASHE DIVES INTO THE LAKE
SAM
Are you nuts?! I’m not getting in there!
ASHE
Suit yourself
SAM TURNS AROUND AND SEES THE DRAGON SHOOT THE ENERGY BALL IN HER DIRECTION. IN SLOW MOTION WE SEE SAM TURN AND RUN FOR THE LAKE AS THE ENERGY BALL GETS CLOSER. SHE LEAPS IN THE AIR AND AIMS TO PUSH ASHE UNDER THE WATER AS WELL. SHE COLLIDES WITH ASHE JUST AS THE BALL OF ENERGY HITS HER BACK. THE BOTH OF THEM SINK UNDER THE WATER WITH BLUE AND PINK ENERGY WAVES ENCIRCLING THEIR BODIES. IT LASTS FOR A SECOND ONCE THEY WERE FULLY SUBMERGED. THEN DISSIPATES IN THE WATER. SPEED RETURNS TO NORMAL AS ASHE AND SAM RISE TO THE SURFACE. SAM IMMEDIATELY BEGINS LOOKING AROUND FOR THE DRAGON, WHICH HAD DISAPPEARED
ASHE
What the hell just happened?!
ASHE LOOKS DOWN AT HIMSELF
ASHE
Ashe, why am I wearing your clothing-
ASHE LOOKS OVER AT SAM WHO LOOKS BACK AT ASHE. THEY STARE AT EACH OTHER FOR A MOMENT IN SHOCK AND DISBELIEF. SAM LOOKS DOWN AT HERSELF THEN BACK AT ASHE
SAM
I’m you....you...you’re me!
ASHE
We switched bodies?! That’s impossible!
SAM
And I suppose a pink dragon that shoots energy blasts is a common occurrence in Bitch Monster land
ASHE
I’m sure there is a logical explanation for this
SAM
Why don’t you take your “logical explanation” and shove it up your-
ASHE
Why don’t we find Ellie and Elijah and have them fix us. Problem solved
SAM
It almost seems too easy....
OPENING CREDITS ROLL.
SCENE ONE: ELLIE, ELIJAH, AND ALEC ARE SITTING IN THE CAVE. IT’S NIGHT. ELIJAH HAD MADE A SMALL FIRE TO KEEP WARM. RICHARD IS MAKING TOWERS OUT OF STONES HE FOUND IN THE CAVE.
ALEC
I don’t get it...the book was supposed to transport us throughout time; not to another world
ELIJAH
I don’t think we’re on another world?
ALEC
So, the scifi channel has taken over our world?
ELIJAH
The what?
ALEC
Nevermind
ELLIE
Elijah, before our last jump, you read something from the Necromonicon. What did you read?
ELIJAH
It was supposed to help us control our jumps. I don’t know how we ended up here
ELLIE
Okay, but you didn’t read it just before we jumped
ELIJAH
Yes I did...
ALEC
No, you read from it, then Ellie grabbed it from you, there was a struggle for it between Ashe and Sam...and we know what that led to
ELIJAH
Do I sense a hint of bitterness?
ALEC
Oh there’s no hinting about it. I’m bitter
ALEC LOOKS OVER AT RICHARD. HE PICKS UP A STONE NEXT TO HIM AND THROWS IT AT RICHARD’S CREATION. RICHARD’S STONE TOWER FALLS. RICHARD WATCHES IT CRUMBLE IN A PANIC.
ELLIE
That wasn’t a good idea
ALEC
Why not? He can build it again
RICHARD THREW A STONE AT ALEC WHICH HIT HIM IN THE HEAD
ALEC
Ouch!
ELLIE
That’s why
ELIJAH
I think I know where we are...but I don’t know how
ELLIE
What are you talking about?
ELIJAH
I used to dream about it when I was a child. I thought this place was just a fantasy....but it’s real
ALEC
What is?
ELIJAH
We’re in an alternate Earth called Ternia
ELLIE
Ternia?
ELIJAH
Yes, a place where magic knows no boundaries
ELLIE AND ALEC STARED AT HIM BLANKLY. ELIJAH LOOKS AROUND FOR A WAY TO PROVE HIMSELF. HE LOOKED AT THE CAMPFIRE
ELIJAH
Watch...
ELIJAH STARED AT THE FIRE AND WAVED HIS PALMS AROUND IT. THE FLAMES BECAME CLEAR, THEN CHANGED TO WHAT LOOKED LIKE A SMALL WATER FOUNTAIN. ELIJAH GAVE A HALF SMILE AND CHANGED IT BACK TO FLAMES. THEN HE MADE THE FIRE STAND STILL, AS THOUGH SOME ONE TOOK A PICTURE OF THE FIRE. ELLIE AND ALEC STARED AT THE FIRE IN DISBELIEF.
ALEC
I don’t believe it. This is impossible
ELIJAH
Normally, yes...but here, in Ternia...anything is possible
ALEC
Anything? Like, Sam having real emotions?
ELIJAH
Well....almost anything
ALEC ROLLS HIS EYES AND LOOKS OVER AT RICHARD WHO IS CURLED UP IN THE CORNER SLEEPING. HE MAKES A FEW NOISES AS HE SLEEPS AND HIS LEG TWITCHES EVERY NOW AND THEN. IN HIS HAND IS A PICTURE.
ELLIE
What is he holding?
ALEC
It looks like a picture....when did he get that?
ELLIE
....ask a stupid question...
ELLIE WALKS OVER AND CAREFULLY TAKES THE PICTURE FROM RICHARD’S HAND AND LOOKS AT IT. HER EXPRESSION CHANGES TO ONE OF SURPRISE, SHOCK, AND EMBARRASSMENT.
ELLIE
Oh boy....
ALEC
What is it?
ELLIE DOESN’T ANSWER AND CONTINUES TO LOOK AT THE PICTURE.
ELIJAH
Ellie,
ELLIE’S HEAD POPS UP AND LOOKS AT ELIJAH SLIGHTLY NERVOUSLY
ELIJAH
What is it?
ELLIE
Uh, nothing
ELIJAH
Your expressions says that it’s more than nothing
ELIJAH AND ALEC STAND UP AND WALK OVER TO ELLIE. ELLIE TRIES TO HIDE THE PICTURE FROM ELIJAH. ALEC YANKS IT FROM ELLIE’S GRASP WHILE PLAYFULLY SAYING “YOINK”, AND EXAMINES THE PICTURE. ELIJAH LEANS OVER HIS SHOULDER TO SEE AS WELL.
ELIJAH
When was this taken?
ALEC STARTS TO LAUGH
ALEC
I remember this...It was in Vegas, right?
ELLIE
Where else?
CAMERA CLOSES ON THE PICTURE. IT WAS A PICTURE OF ELLIE AND ASHE SHORTLY AFTER THEY GOT MARRIED IN VEGAS. ELLIE WAS WEARING ASHE’S JACKET IN ORDER TO COVER THE GLITTERY SHOW GIRL OUTFIT SHE HAD ON. SHE WAS HOLDING A VASE OF FLOWERS AND LAUGHING. ASHE HAD HIS ARMS WRAPPED AROUND HER, ARMS AND ALL, AND WAS LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY AS WELL. HIS SLEEVES HER ROLLED SLIGHTLY AND HE USED IS TIE TO ATTACH THE FEATHERS FROM ELLIE’S OUTFIT TO HIS HEAD.
ALEC
You don’t even remember this being taken, do you?
ELLIE
Alec, I don’t remember that night, how am I supposed to remember having my picture taken?!
ELIJAH
Or getting married to your best friend
ELLIE
I was so drunk...I don’t remember much of anything from that night...
SHE LOOKS AT ALEC WHO IS SMILING AT HER
ELLIE
And you wipe that damn smirk of your face
ALEC LAUGHED AND TRIED TO KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE
ALEC
Aw, come on sis-
ELLIE
Don’t ever call me that!
ALEC LAUGHED AND LOOKED AT THE PICTURE. HE SLIDE A DOUBLE OUT FROM UNDERNEATH IT
ALEC
Hey look, there’s two. One for you and one for Ashe
ELLIE GLARED AT ALEC AND TOOK THE PICTURES FROM ALEC’S HANDS
ELLIE
I’ll take those
SHE SHOVES THEM IN HER POCKET AND SITS DOWN BY THE CAMPFIRE AGAIN
ELLIE
So how do you think Sam and Ashe are doing?
ELIJAH
Who knows. We can search for them in the morning
ELLIE
Do you really think they’ll last that long....together
ALEC
Are you kidding?! Sam has probably gotten ahold of a bazooka by now and his taking out everything that breathes
ELIJAH
That doesn’t benefit Ashe any
ALEC
Knowing Sam’s bitchy ways, He was probably the first to go
THEY ALL LAUGH. SAM AND ASHE ENTER THE CAVE. ASHE FOLDS HIS ARMS AND GLARES AT ALEC
ASHE
You think that’s funny?
ALEC LOOKS UP AND SEES THEM
ALEC
Hey bro,
ELLIE JUMPED UP
ELLIE
Thank God you two haven’t killed each other
SHE WENT TO HUG ASHE WHO GAVE HER A LOOK
ASHE
I don’t hug
SAM WALKS OVER TO ELLIE WITH HER ARMS EXTENDED
SAM
I’ll hug ya, Ellie
ELLIE LOOKED BACK AND FORTH AT SAM AND ASHE CURIOUSLY
ELLIE
Something is not right here...
ALEC
Why? Because Sam is actually showing compassion?
ELIJAH
Alec, relax, its not like she cut you off....again
ASHE IS GIVING ALEC AN ODD LOOK
ALEC
What do you want?
ASHE WINKS AT ALEC AND MOTIONS TO GO DEEPER IN THE CAVE
ASHE
Hey, quickie?
ALEC RAISES AN EYEBROW AT ASHE. ALEC LOOKS AT THE REST OF THE GROUP WHO ARE STUNNED
ALEC
I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that
ASHE
Oh suddenly I’m not good enough for you?! You’re trying to get into my pants every other damn day!
ELLIE’S MOUTH DROPPED AND SHE QUICKLY COVERED IT WITH HER HAND WHILE ALEC AND ELIJAH EXCHANGED HORRIFIED GLANCES.
SAM
All right, that’s it! Sam, might I remind you that you are in MY body...There are parts of Alec that should be no where near me
ELIJAH
Which parts?
SAM
ALL of them!
ELLIE
Elijah, you said anything is possible in Ternia, right?
ELIJAH
Right...
ELLIE
Is it possible that Ashe and Sam have switched bodies?
ELIJAH
If I wouldn’t be watching this right now, I might not believe it
ASHE
Hey Ellie,
ELLIE
Yes Ashe...Sam...uh....you
ASHE
Speaking of something you wouldn’t believe unless you saw it....
ASHE SMIRKS AT SAM AND DROPS HIS PANTS. CAMERA IS ANGLED BEHIND ASHE SO WE SEE ASHE’S BACK AND THE REST OF THE CASTS’ REACTIONS. THEY ALL DROP THEIR JAWS AND STAR IN DISBELIEF AND HORROR
ELLIE
Oh my God!
ASHE
Yep
ELLIE LOOKS OVER AT SAM
ELLIE
Ashe, I thought all those stories about you being small....
SHE STARTS TO LAUGH
....I thought you were just kidding
SAM ROLLS HER EYES
SAM
That’s right, laugh it up. But remember, it’s not the size that matters, it’s how you use it
ALEC
Really, Ashe. Is that what your mommy told you?
SAM GLARES AT ALEC THEN LIFTS HER SHIRT AND FLASHES THE GROUP. ASHE GLARES AT SAM. ELLIE ROLLS HER EYES
ELLIE
Ashe, you’re forgetting...Sam has flashed us before. Remember our little romp in the Arabian prison?
SHE POINTS TO ASHE
ELLIE
This is a more shocking discovery
RELUCTANTLY SAM LOWERS HER SHIRT. RICHARD APPEARS BESIDE SAM AND WINKS AT HER
RICHARD
How you doin’?
SAM TURNS AND PUNCHES RICHARD. HE TAKES A BREATH OF SATISFACTION AND LOOKS AT THE GROUP. THEY PAUSE AT FIRST THEN START TO LAUGH.
ELLIE
Guys, we should get some rest. We can look for some locals and see if they can fix you two tomorrow
ELIJAH
Good idea. This body switch thing is really weirding me out
SAM
YOU?! Try spending some time in the Bitch Monster’s body!
ELIJAH
I’d rather not
SAM WATCHES ELIJAH TAKE ELLIE’S HAND. SHE MUMBLES UNDER HER BREATH
SAM
That’s because you’re busy sinking your claws in Ellie...
ELIJAH
What did you say?
SAM
Nothing...
SCENE TWO: MORNING. THE GROUP IS SLEEPING PEACEFULLY AROUND THE SMOLDERING CAMPFIRE IN THE CAVE. THE SUN SHINES ON ALEC’S FACE. HE STIRS AND WAKES UP. ALEC STRETCHES AS ELLIE STIRS AND RUBS HER EYES.
ALEC
I had the weirdest dream last night....
ELLIE
Hmmm?
ALEC
I dreamt that Ashe and Sam switched bodies....bizarre, huh
ELLIE SAT UPRIGHT AND LOOKED AT ALEC WHO WAS MAKING HIS WAY TO SAM
ELLIE
Alec, I that wasn’t-
ALEC LEANED OVER TO SAM’S EAR
ALEC
Rise and shine gorgeous
SAM’S EYES SHOT OPEN WHEN ALEC TRIED TO KISS HER NECK. SAM WHIPPED HER ARM BACK AND SMACKED HIM AWAY
SAM
Get the hell off me!
ALEC FELL BACKWARDS ONTO THE GROUND
ELLIE
....a dream...
SAM
I don’t know what you movie stars are into, but you aren’t going to get all freaky with me!
ELLIE
Ashe, calm down....he thought you and Sam switching bodies was all a dream
SAM
Yeah, well if he touches me again he can dream all he wants to after I kill him!
ASHE STIRRED AND WOKE UP WHILE SAM WAS YELLING
ASHE
What are you bitching about now?! Can’t your mouth take a day off?
SAM
Can yours?
ELIJAH STILL LAY ON THE GROUND. HE COVERED HIS FACE WITH HIS HANDS AND MOANED. ELLIE PLACED A HAND ON HIS LEG AND LOOKED AT HIM
ELLIE
Everything ok, Hun?
ELIJAH
Just once I would like to wake up to peace and quiet. Every morning it’s the same thing...those two arguing about something. How do you put up with it?
ELLIE
It sort of grows on you after a while
ELIJAH
I don’t see how
ELLIE
Give it time
ELLIE PAUSES AND THINKS FOR A MOMENT
ELLIE
You said that on Ternia anything is possible right?
ELIJAH
Yes, why?
ELLIE SMILED AND PICKED UP A RECTANGULAR ROCK. SHE LAID IT FLAT IN HER HAND AND CONCENTRATED. THE ROCK TURNED IN TO A TELEVISION REMOTE CONTROL. ELLIE SMILED TO HERSELF. ELIJAH SAT UP AND LOOKED AT THE REMOTE CONTROL.
ELIJAH
Interesting...what is it?
ELLIE
Remember when I told you what television was?
ELIJAH
Yes...a device that allows you to watch plays anytime and anywhere
ELLIE
This is what allows you to control the television from a distance
ELIJAH
Interesting....what do you need it for now?
ELLIE SMILED AT ELIJAH AND PRESSED THE MUTE BUTTON. WE SEE ASHE AND SAM CONTINUE TO ARGUE, BUT NO SOUND IS HEARD
ELLIE
It comes with a mute button
ELIJAH
Amazing....let me see that
RICHARD LOOKED AROUND AND SNIFFED THE AIR
RICHARD
Some one is coming
ALEC
Some ONE or some THING?
RICHARD
Some...Ooo a cricket
RICHARD BEGAN CHASING THE CRICKET AROUND THE CAVE. SEVERAL PEOPLE ENTERED THE CAVE. THEY WERE ALL DRESSED IN LONG ROBES. THE WOMAN WORE WHITE AND THE MEN WORE DARK BROWN. A YOUNG WOMAN SPOKE
YOUNG WOMAN
See, Jonathan, I told you. I felt them arrive last night. They’re from Earth
JONATHAN
Earth?
JONATHAN LOOKED AT THE GROUP
JONATHAN
Do not fear travelers, we will not harm you. Tell me, how did you know about Ternia? We try our best to be sure that you only see this place in a dream
ELLIE
Have you ever heard of the Necromonicon Ex Mortes?
JONATHAN
The Necromonicon Ex Mortes?! That book is the root of everything evil. It has the power to destroy the Earth and tear the Universe in half
ELLIE
Yeah that’s the one. It sent the six of us jumping through time. We’ve been trying to find our way home ever since we accidentally jumped with it. Elijah and I have been trying to find a way to control our jumps and get home. Some how we ended up here.
ALEC MOTIONS TO ASHE AND SAM
ALEC
And they switched bodies
ELLIE
Is there any way to switch them back?
JONATHAN
Oh, those dragons do that as a joke. They really do have a unique sense of humor
ELIJAH
You speak of them as though they are your friends. They tried to kill us last night
JONATHAN
No no, that is a game of chase they like to play. And they do this body switch trick as a prank. The solution is simple. The two of them must kiss
SAM AND ASHE MOUTH THE WORD “WHAT?!”
ELLIE
Oh is that all...they’re never going to change back to normal now
ELLIE UNMUTED ASHE AND SAM. ALEC GLARED AT SAM
ALEC
Kiss him....uh...Her
SAM
You Kiss her....you do it all the t-Oh wait...that’s my body. Ah Hell
SAM AND ASHE LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND ROLL THEIR EYES. SLOWLY THEY GIVE A VERY AWKWARD KISS. THEY SEPARATE AND LOOK AT EACH OTHER. THE GROUP WATCHES CURIOUSLY. ASHE AND SAM BOTH LEAN OVER AND BEGIN SPITTING ON THE GROUND.
YOUNG WOMAN
Are they all right?
ELLIE
They’re fine. They’re just reacting to having to kiss each other
ASHE
I can’t believe you tried to hit on Alec. You KNEW you were in MY body. What’s the matter with you?!
ASHE LOOKS AT ALEC
ASHE
And YOU! What the hell were you thinking earlier...making the moves on me
ALEC
I thought you were Sam
ASHE
You knew about the body switch!
ALEC
I thought it was a horrible nightmare
SAM
It was a nightmare. That’s all it was....a horrible HORRIBLE nightmare.
ELIJAH
So, Jonathan, any idea where we can find the Necromonicon? I mean, this place is amazing....but we really need to get home.
SAM
We probably have to face some horrible fire breathing, acid bleeding dragon to get to it
JONATHAN
No...
ASHE
Or we have to go through some elaborate test and make a leap of faith...
JONATHAN
No...
ELLIE
Then what do we have to do?
JONATHAN WALKED OVER TO ELIJAH AND ELLIE.
JONATHAN
I sense a great potential in the both of you. I’m sure you two already know how to retrieve the Necromonicon Ex Mortes
ELLIE AND ELIJAH LOOK AT EACH OTHER. THEY FACE EACH OTHER AND HOLD THEIR HANDS OUT IN FRONT OF THEM. THEIR PALMS FACE EACH OTHERS’ PALMS. THEY CLOSE THEIR EYES AND CONCENTRATE. A WHITE GLOW FORMS BETWEEN THEIR HANDS. THE WHITE GLOW TURNS TO A BLACK AND THE NECROMONICON APPEARS, WEDGED BETWEEN THEIR HANDS.
SAM
...Okay, that was the freakiest think I’ve ever seen
JONATHAN
I will leave you with one comment. Use your abilities wisely. The energy you posses is both powerful and deadly. I pray you will use it for the right purpose
RICHARD IS SEEN TRYING TO COUNT HIS FINGERS. HE LOOKS CONFUSED
ASHE
What’s your problem?
RICHARD
That was more than one comment
THE GROUP LAUGHS TO THEM SELVES. ELLIE HOLDS THE BOOK IN FRONT OF HER
ELLIE
We need a vacation
THE GROUP ALL TOUCHES THE BOOK AND THEY DISAPPEAR IN A CLOUD OF EVIL DEAD FOG
YOUNG WOMAN
What’s wrong, Jonathan?
JONATHAN
I sense a darkness in one of them
YOUNG WOMAN
Who?
JONATHAN
I’m not sure. They are a unique group with complicated lives
YOUNG WOMAN
Do you think we’ll see them again someday
JONATHAN
Perhaps. Only time will tell
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