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Raising Christian Girls - Discipline and Spanking
Raising Christian Girls --A forum for bible believing Christians to discuss discipline, spanking, and other issues related to raising Christian girls. Unfortunately, it is necessary for this forum to be moderated so please allow a day or two for your post to show up. This is a forum for biblical viewpoints on spanking. No fantasy posts, antichristian posts, posts that insult others, or posts from the same person using multiple names will be permitted.
Raising Christian Girls - Discipline and Spanking
Subject: Chrsitian girls & spanking


Author:
Dan
[Edit]
Date Posted: 08:51:18 06/14/09 Sun
This is an interesting forum and certainly not mainstream when it comes to idea's & opinions on spanking. Some of the posts are over the top and probably made up but some people seem genuinely interested in this subject.

As a father and a christian, I'm interested in knowing how common father / daughter spanking is in christian families and are girls spanked more than boys. I think most girls are spanked by their fathers and that girls are spanked more often than boys in christian families.

What do you think?

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Subject: School problems


Author:
Melanie
[Edit]
Date Posted: 09:37:40 05/28/09 Thu
Hi everyone. I'm Melanie and I'm a Baptist. I'll be 15 in July and I'm finishing 8th grade next week.

I'm posting because I feel bad about some stuff that has been happening the last 2 months. I have been arguing with one of my teachers and she hasn't reported me to the principal or to my parents but yesterday I really got into it with her and she told me that she may write me up. If she writes me up I could get in trouble with the principal or with my parents. Probably both!

My question is, should I wait and hope she doesn't write me up or should I tell my parents what has been going on? I think cause school is out next friday she may let it slide. I already said I was sorry to her. Thanks for any advice.

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Subject: The rod


Author:
Dave
[Edit]
Date Posted: 17:42:40 05/24/09 Sun
My question is should Parents use an impliment to spank such as a belt or paddle?
In my opinion that is going beyond resonable chastisement.
I believe a Parent should only use the hand on the bottom. I find it effective and I think using an impliment as going too far. But I would welcome views on this

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Subject: Good forums


Author:
Jonathon
[Edit]
Date Posted: 07:08:01 05/07/09 Thu
These are some good forums related to raising girls and discipline and some info on christianity:

http://www.fatherly.net
http://www.focusonthefamily.com

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Subject: My thoughts and two cents


Author:
Denton
[Edit]
Date Posted: 07:20:40 05/05/09 Tue
I've seen several threads that I'd like to comment on and thought it best to start a new one. I fell into a situatuon where I filled the role of a father for a family that was going through a major crisis: Dad had run off and only paid a fraction of child support, Mom was in major depression and understandably exhusted working a full time job and a part time job, and the two girls, Tami age 14 and Marie age 10 were facing difficulties in school with grades and showing discplinary problems. Our families had known each other for years and knew them well. I was activly involved with the youth program and was a senior in college. Over the course of several weeks I became more involved with helping this family. I was then aproached by a senior church leader and the mother if I would be willing to devote more time to them, and to give the mother some time to herself to unwind and let her calm down after her day. (I found out later that she was over-using a belt on the kids, usually out of anger and she scared herself and needed help.)
I agreed and the five of us the pastor, the family and I would hold a counsling session of sorts of how I would be an adopted member of the family.
The older girl was more receptive to me and openly excited that she would have a father figure, the younger girl was more shy but intrested. It was made clear to all that I would be a full authority and was given a paddle by the pastor in front of them on our last session. It made the girls nervous but they assured me they would be good and it would not need it. (Or in a cute note each said her sister would need it more.) I would come over to the house two to three times a week and pick them up from the youth program after school and have dinner on nights I was there. I also tried to convence the mother to get counsling to work on her depression which led to her quick temper. We did fun things like go get ice cream, go to the park but I was not going to let them walk over me either.
I interviened in them getting a belt spanking from their mom on occasions when I felt it was an outburst of frustration, but I would also spank them when I felt they needed it, or just let their mother take over when she was there. I had a system of using a hairbrush for attitude problems, fussiness and the like and using the paddle for specific wrong-doings. I would go to great lenghts to explain what they did was wrong, and what to do diffrently in the future. I would also use a varrity of methods such as writing long lines, silly chores, corner time, a mouth soaping two or three times; Marie was more resentful and pouty after I would spank her which earned her time in the corner and Tami was more willing to cooperate. Like some of the comments I've read here, I can tell you that it was meaningful and worth while as Tami told me she prefered me spanking her than her mom because it was more out of anger and I was calm (usually.) They I would bring this up to her mother and she would become sick with grief and hugged here girls and say how much she loved them.
Over the next couple years the youth program expanded into an acredited home school program that I was a part time teacher in and still was active with the youth program as well. Both girls attended and their family situation began to get better.
I would only recomend this if it is done within a controlled setting and ther is an established closeness with the family and people involved.

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Subject: Should a man be giving the spankings?


Author:
Keisha
[Edit]
Date Posted: 06:50:05 04/06/09 Mon
I was punished mostly by my Aunts when I was growing up. I have a Christian male friend who says that it is more appropriate for a man to handle the punishments. I have always spanked my daughters myself.

My friend is a deacon at our church and he has volunteered to spend time with my daughters and handle their spankings when they need it. I would trust him to do it well. If he did it I would leave all the the decisions about how to do it up to him. He has already told me he would prefer to use the strap with their pants down to teach a proper lesson and I told him that I don't have a problem with the punishments being on their bare bottoms if he chose to do it that way.

Is it better for girls to get their spankings from a christian man than from a female?

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Subject: The Forgotten Dimension


Author:
Many Moons
[Edit]
Date Posted: 09:30:26 03/14/09 Sat
Over the centuries, much has been written on the physical aspects of how to spank. For moms with the best interest of their daughter's at heart, the physical how-to is fairly straightforward. Often forgotten is the more important incorporeal dimension that lies beyond the physical.

Perhaps this intangible is best described by a certain mom's first experience in disciplining her daughter. By her own admission, this mom wasn't so much anti-spanking as naive when it came to understanding children. When her daughter misbehaved, she would tell herself that her child was young and just simply needed to be reminded of proper behavior.

Then, one day, her daughter deliberately defied her! By now, her daughter was old enough to understand and Mom was furious! For the first time in her life, she wanted to hit her child. The sudden rush of anger frightened her. She'd never had this feeling before and wasn't sure how to handle it.

Not knowing what else to do at the moment, she sent her daughter to her room and sat down to compose herself. After several minutes, as her anger subsided, she came to understand what she needed to do.

Having gotten herself under control, Mom walked to her daughter's room and, closing the door behind her, talked to her daughter as she had always done. Then, she added that the time had come to do something that she had never done before to but that would remind her daughter to listen and obey in the future.

Guiding her daughter through the motions that eventually became their mother-daughter ritual, she made the necessary adjustments and put her daughter into position. Then, using her hand, she began to spank.

As the spanking proceeded, the mom said that, for the first time, she experienced being in control of both herself and her daughter. It was an intuitive experience that she would have missed had she hit or spanked her daughter impulsively.

It is a lesson from which all moms can learn. While Mom may still be a little vexed when she spanks, she should not be driven by mere passions of the moment. Nor, should she be cold and calculating. Good moms nurture their daughters even during disciplining. It is one of those things that creates that special bond between mother and daughter.

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Subject: Prayer before and after spanking


Author:
Deedee
[Edit]
Date Posted: 21:24:31 02/16/09 Mon
I was raised in a strict but very loving Christian family. My parents used spanking as discipline when we deserved it. Myself my sister and my brother were all spanked at one time or another, well into our teens. I think my last one was when I was about 15. Before any spanking I ever got Mom and Dad would always pray with me. I think it was to give me a chance to confess to any other things I had done that warranted discipline. After the spanking, I was always sent to kneel in the corner of my room for about 20 minutes and reflect about why I was spanked in the first place. After the time passed, Mom and Dad would came into my room and pray with me afterwards. Has anyone else had parents that did the same? As an adult now, I am glad that my parents did this because it made me understand why they had to discipline me.

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Subject: Rules of the Game


Author:
Many Moons
[Edit]
Date Posted: 23:59:33 02/01/09 Sun
One often-unconsidered factor in discussions of men spanking girls lies outside the bounds of traditional families. Since 1980, the number of unmarried women giving birth has doubled. The result is a baby boom that rivals the number of children born in 1960. Unlike single moms a couple of decades ago, teenage mothers don't necessarily dominate the current generation of singles with newborns. However, without single women giving birth, the total number of births would have remained approximately level for the past couple of decades. Their contribution is that big.

Awareness of single moms is important because much of the classic anti-spanking research focused on this demographic. Children whose mothers aren't married to the father are a huge headache for society because they're the ones likely to drop out of school and get into all sorts of trouble. Simply spanking these kids more doesn't necessarily make them behave any better. That's still the song anti-spanking activists continue to sing.

Consequently, married parents raising their biological children need to understand that the advice given by today's childcare experts simply may not be appropriate for them. Instead, quite frankly, married couples are usually better off following traditional interpretations of biblical admonitions concerning the chastisement of children. After all, the Bible verses were addressed to married parents. That really is the way God intended children to be raised.

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Subject: My family is falling apart...


Author:
SilverRain
[Edit]
Date Posted: 00:29:47 02/01/09 Sun
Hi all, i am in need of some advice from some Christian people. Here's my problem: I am 30 years old and I am the single mother of five. I got pregnant out of wedlock at 14 and had my twins. I did marry their father as soon as we could and now have a boy, 14, a girl, 13 and another boy, 5. Two years ago their father left us and started another family with another woman and now all he does is send a check every month. It was during this time that i turned to the Lord for stregth and became born again-- but now my problem is that I have met the man I've always prayed for-- and we're planning a wedding in Summer. Now my kids are not making it easy. My oldest boy doesn't like my new fiance, and continually defies me at every oppourtuniy. He's become agressive even with his twin. He thinks he's supposed to control them down to the clothes they wear. My daughters have been wearing camisoles and boy shorts to bed for years-- but now it seems to anger him. And it's not just him, my youngest cries and throws tantrums whenever the wedding is mentioned, saying he wants his daddy (Who clearly doesnt want him). My girls are getting very mouthy with me, though they seem to like their step-dad-to-be and will do as he says!!

Now as for my fiance, he is Christian like myself. He does not live with us, as I want to set a good example for my kids. He likes my kids, but he's a bit younger than me-- in fact he's barely 10 years older than my twins. I think that might be the problem, truthfully. And now my family is involved. I have never, and will never, force any sort of religion on my kids. If they wish to believe differently then so be it, my oldest son is atehist and my daughters are Wiccan. The other two are still Christian as myself and my fiance. My aunt came over for the first time in 5 years and is yelling at me how I should take a belt to those two and drag them to church and if they didn't wanna go to church she'd kick them out of her house. My mother doesn't care, like me, she'd love them no matter what religion they were. This is causing fights between her and my kids becaus she will not drop it. it's ruining the Holiday and my youngest loves his great aunt clara a lot, so Im hesitant about telling her to take a hike.

Once we're married, my fiance wil be given spanking rights to my kids as I do still spank. The twins are threatning to 'run away' or call the cops if he so much as threatens them.. the younger once are calling me unfair an on and on it goes. Does anyone know how to help resolve this situation or have I lost control forever?

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Subject: Step daughter


Author:
John T
[Edit]
Date Posted: 21:46:13 01/29/09 Thu
Hello,

I'm John and I'm 45. I have a stepdaughter, Lisa, who just turned 15 last week. She has been my stepdaughter for just over a year and I feel like we are close mentally. We seem to click on a few things but I'm still not sure I can "discipline" her. Sometimes she crosses that boundary between parent and child, and assumes that she is equal to me. I stand my ground with her when she is obstinate but I'm not secure enough in our relationship to not care if she's mad at me. I hate when she puts distance between us and this happens each time I discipline her. I don't spank her, of course, because of her age, but I do send her to her room and I've grounded her twice. When I send her to her room, she sighs and rolls her eyes but when I ground her, she really becomes obstinate. It feels like a battle of wills to me. It makes me uneasy.

Does anyone have an opinion on what I can do here? I love my wife dearly but she hasn't raised her daughter in a Christian way.

John T.

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