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Date Posted: 02:53:33 03/14/14 Fri
Author: t
Subject: joke

'Paano mang-holdap ang sosyal' and other Miriam jokes

By Willard Cheng, ABS-CBNnews.com
Posted at 03/14/2014 1:36 PM | Updated as of 03/14/2014 1:51 PM
MANILA - Senator Miriam Santiago has some advice to those who love to take "selfies" but are aesthetically challenged.

"Kung pangit ka at mahilig kang mag-selfie, sabihin mo na lang na lahat ng pictures mo ay wacky," she told a gathering of students attending the 1st Business Law Conference at De La Salle University.

Santiago was to deliver a speech on the cybercrime law in a forum organized by the student group Ley La Salle but began by delivering her trademark punchlines.

Wearing La Salle's color green, Santiago played to the home crowd by referring to the championship match between the school's volleyball team and its archrival Ateneo.

She said that she has developed a power to predict as she grows older.

"I have acquired powers of prognostication, to prophesy. For example, I can sense that tomorrow there will be an important athletic event," she said.

"I can see color... I can see the color green," she quipped as the audience roared in approval.

She also made a joke out of the school's reputation as an elite university.

"Eskwelahan ito ng mga sosyal but I don't hold it against you," she said and jested about a possible scenario where someone "sosyal" is staging a hold-up.

"Paano mang-hold up ang mga sosyal? Sinasabi, 'Hold up here. Make bigay all your thingies. Don't make galaw or I'll make tusok-tusok you," she jested.

She also delivered a joke about business terms to connect with the theme of the conference.

"Kapag may nakita kang gwapo o maganda sa isang party, kapag nilapitan mo siya at sinabing mong 'Mayaman ako, pakasalan mo ako,' ang tawag doon ay direct marketing."

"Kapag pinadala mo ang kaibigan mo para sabihin sa kanya na mayaman ka at gusto mo siyang pakasalan, ang tawag doon ay advertising."

"Kapag nakuha mo ang number niya at tinawagan mo sa telepono kinabukasan para sabihing mayaman ka at gusto mo siyang pakasalan, ang tawag diyan ay telemarketing."

"Kapag nilapitan ka ng gwapong lalaki, magandang babaeng iyon, at sinabi sa iyo na, 'Mayaman ka, gusto mo ba akong pakasalan?' Ang tawag doon ay brand recognition.

"And finally kung sinabi ng isang lalaki sa isang babae na, "Mayaman ako, pakasalan mo ako,' at sinampal siya ng babae, ang tawag doon ay customer feedback."

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