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Date Posted: 20:45:45 06/05/12 Tue
Author: t
Subject: fb108

Shabbat Shalom Weekly


Insights into life, personal growth and Torah.

View online: http://www.aish.com/tp/ss/ssw/156892895.html
Be'halot'cha(Numbers 8-12)

GOOD MORNING! Years ago my 6 year old son was late for dinner. After frantically calling the neighbors in the building with kids his age, I finally located him and got him on the phone. Frustrated with anxiety and concern and upset with his lateness, I angrily asked, "Do you know what time it is?" After a moment of silence, I hear his small voice asking the parents of his friend, "Excuse me, my father wants to know the time." I immediately realized that my anger did not communicate and had no effect; it was the wrong time and the wrong manner to get through to this child.

I believe that every child gives a parent the opportunity to work on and improve one (or more) of his own character traits -- likes frustration and anger. Being a parent can be trying, but the rewards are great. There's an old Yiddish saying: small children, small problems; big children, big problems. Small children, small opportunities; big children, big opportunities. It is the only job that by the time you're trained ... you're out of a job. Here is an interesting piece from "Quote Magazine" (September 1, 1985) about what children want from parents. They surveyed children 8 to 14 years old in 24 countries. Here are the top 10 wanted behaviors:


What Children Want

1. They want harmony -- their parents should not have unresolved and destructive conflict in front of them.
2. They want love. They wish to be treated with the same affection as other children in the family.
3. They want honesty. They do not want to be lied to.
4. They want acceptance. They desire mutual tolerance from both parents.
5. They want their parents to like their friends. They want their friends to be welcomed in the home.
6. They want closeness. They desire comradeship with their parents.
7. They want their parents to pay attention to them and answer their questions.
8. They want consideration from their parents -- not to be embarrassed or punished in front of friends.
9. They want positive support -- for parents to concentrate on their good points rather than their weaknesses.
10. They want consistency. They desire parents to be consistent in their affections and moods.



In essence, these children want from us are what we should give every human being -- respect, consideration and love. In addition, we owe our children to be good role models to learn from and to emulate. Perhaps the following piece will give some insight into what kids learn from us:




If A Child Lives With


If a child lives with criticism ...
... he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility ...
... he learns to fight.
If a child lives with fear ...
... he learns to be apprehensive.
If a child lives with jealousy ...
... he learns to feel guilt.
If a child lives with tolerance ...
... he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement ...
... he learns to be confident.
If a child lives with praise ...
... he learns to be appreciative.
If a child lives with acceptance ...
... he learns to love.
If a child lives with approval ...
... he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with recognition ...
... he learns that it is good
to have a goal.
If a child lives with honesty ...
... he learns what truth is.
If a child lives with fairness ...
... he learns justice.
If a child lives with security ...
... he learns to trust in himself
and others.
If a child lives with friendliness ...
... he learns the world is a nice place.


What is your child living with?

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