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Date Posted: 22:57:22 08/02/12 Thu
Author: t
Subject: fb185


#533 Tailor your Advice to the Situation

If someone solicits your advice, ask yourself, "How would I feel if I were in this person's situation?" Try to really empathize.

Furthermore, keep in mind that each individual is unique. Take this person's personality, life situation, and resources into consideration before giving advice. (If this seems like a big task, that's because it is!)

(For a series of probing questions on this topic, see Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Self Knowledge,"pp. 104-6)


See Rabbi Pliskin's new book "Life Is Now"




13 Av

Yahrtzeit of Sir Moses Montefiore (1784-1885), outstanding Jewish philanthropist. Montefiore was also a leading stockbroker, served as the Sheriff of London, and was knighted by Queen Victoria. Montefiore retired from business at age 40 and devoted the rest of his life to humanitarian causes on behalf of the Jewish people. He traveled to the Sultan of Turkey in 1840 to defend the Jews of Damascus against a blood libel; to Rome in 1858 to try and free the Jewish youth Edgar Mortara, kidnapped and baptized by his Catholic nurse; to Russia, Morocco and other points to ask government authorities to stop persecution of the Jews. But it was the Holy Land that was dearest to his heart. He made the arduous journey to Israel seven times. His first visit to Jerusalem had a profound affect on him spiritually, and from then on he lived a life of Torah observance. In Israel, he dispensed charity, sought to promote industry, education and health, and sponsored several agricultural settlements. In Jerusalem, he built the first neighborhood outside the Old City Walls. (The area is recognized by a landmark windmill, though due to the lack of wind in Jerusalem, the windmill has never worked.) His tireless efforts made him a beloved folk hero; his 100th birthday was celebrated by Jewish communities around the world.



13 Av

You shall make a fence to your roof ... so that the falling person should not fall therefrom (Deuteronomy 22:8).


Rashi notes the unusual term the falling person should not fall and explains that even though the person who may be injured may be "a falling person," i.e. someone who merited punishment for wrongs he or she had committed, nevertheless, you should not be the vehicle for punishment.

Some people act in a hostile manner toward a certain person, even going so far as to condemn him and cause him harm. They may justify their behavior by saying, "Why, that no good ... do you know what he did? He did this and that, and so he deserves to be tarred and feathered."

The Talmud states that God uses good people to deliver rewards, but when punishment is warranted, He chooses people who themselves deserve punishment. Hence, it is not good to be a punitive instrument. The Torah cautions us not to intervene in Divine judgment. God's system is adequate. We should take reasonable actions to protect our interests so that they are not harmed by others, but we should not take upon ourselves to mete out punishment.

The principle of fencing in a roof applies to every situation where someone else might come to harm as a result of something we did or did not do. Being a responsible person requires using reason. As the Talmud says, "A wise person is one who can foresee the future" (Tamid 32a). We don't necessarily need prophetic foresight, just the ability to calculate what might result from our actions.


Today I shall ...
...

be cautious to behave in such a manner that no one can come to harm as a result of my actions.


See more books by Rabbi Abraham Twerski at Artscroll.com


13 Av

Marrano Heritage

My mother's family comes from a long line of Marranos, the "secret converts" who fled Portugal in the 15th century and went to South America. A year ago I embarked on a search for who I really am. For me, attending Shabbat services, learning Hebrew, and taking steps toward keeping kosher is only the beginning. The Inquisitors won their battle with my ancestors, but they didn't win the war with me. I feel that I want to extend an inner arm back through the ages and "fetch" my Jewish roots. I am alive today because of my ancestors' sacrifice. I am desperately longing to immerse myself in a mikveh, to nail a mezuzah to the doorposts of a kosher home, to light Shabbat candles on Friday evenings.

The obvious question is: "Am I Jewish?" I am being very patient, but at the same time, I want to get on with living as a Jew.
The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Your beautiful letter reflects the yearning of a special soul.

If one's mother is Jewish, than so is the child. This means that the soul this person possesses has a deep longing to connect to the Almighty through Torah that can never be eradicated even through centuries of non-Jewish behavior.

It is a good idea to search for the tombstone of your mother's mother, as this can serve as proof for your Jewishness, as is sometimes necessary for people who are coming from very assimilated backgrounds. For Marrano ancestry, there is a web site set up just for these types of things, called "Kulanu" at www.kulanu.org

In the absence of real proof, you would need to undergo a conversion process in order to be considered Jewish. It is thus very important to develop a connection with a rabbi who you can sit with and ask your many questions. If you tell me what city you're located in, I'll be happy to recommend someone you could contact.



Featured at Aish.com

* Bashert: Jewish Wisdom on Love, Dating & Marriage
* Dear Emuna: The Mother of the Groom’s Partner
* Unbroken Spirit


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