| Subject: Part 2 of my post...it was too long... |
Author:
Carmen Davis
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Date Posted: 17:10:28 02/24/08 Sun
I will use my son as an example for this chapter. He is still looking for his identity in school but he knows who he is at home. He is our son and a brother, so therefore he has to uphold to that. When he is in school, I feel he struggles because he doesn't want to be the "good, well-behaved student" and he tends to act out. As he reaches the middle of his teenage years, his attitude has changed and he is less emotional as he used to be but that concerns me because I often times wonder if he is dealing with his emotions or bottling them in. Although, I feel we have a good relationship, I am constantly letting him know that he can talk to me about anything, he can tell me how he feels. When I would chastise him and he would get angry, huffing and puffing, I would tell him to tell me how he feels right now. I would say, do you hate me, are you angry with me, if so, you have a right to be; I just spanked you (yes, up until he was 13, I would spank him if I felt the need cause sometimes words did not get the job done). He would say yes but I would then say, "well, you knew the consequences of your actions before you did what you did, so therefore, you have to deal with it and only be upset with yourself." I had to let him know that as his parent, it is my duty to discipline and sometimes take a different course of action but at the end, I would hug him and say I still love you and it's up to you to do what you are supposed to. It has been hard lately to deal with him emotionally because I don't know what is going through his head, but I offer my support daily in hopes he is okay.
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