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Date Posted: 05:05:05 09/12/99 Sun
Author: E! SISTERS
Subject: HEART OF EVIL - PART 8


Author: Brenda

Joanne yawned and stretched as she sat in the uncomfortable chair next to Roy's bed. Once he had stabilized they had moved him into a regular room, and she had been there with him ever since. It had been a nearly silent vigil, as he had drifted in and out of consciousness in the hours following.

One stretch didn't quite do it and she got up to pace around the foot of the bed. She went to the window, noting that another day was in full swing, despite the recent agonizing events. She stared out the window to the courtyard below, spotting a small child with her mother at the picnic table outside the cafeteria, grabbing a bite to eat.

She thought of her own two, realizing that she would have to leave soon so that she could pick them up from Susan's house so she could explain things to them more thoroughly. She had purposely avoided a full explanation when she spoke to them last.

She wondered briefly if the little girl and her mother seated on the picnic table below were facing the same trials? Or were they just here for something routine like a checkup? She hoped for their sake it was only routine. She wouldn't wish this aching hurt of loss, or gnawing worry...on anyone.

She wandered back to the bed and gently picked up Roy's hand, holding it in her own. She was about to straighten the blanket over his sleeping form when a whispered voice startled her.

"Joanne?"

She turned from her seat next to Roy's bed to see Hank Stanley poking his head through the door.

"Could I talk to you for a second?" Hank said, voice low.

Joanne moved to head toward Hank when she felt a slight pressure on her hand.

"Joanne?" Roy's voice sounded stronger this time.

"Welcome back, sleepy head." Joanne uttered softly as she bent to kiss him.

"Hey," Roy's voice was definitely stronger today.

"How do you feel?" she leaned to kiss him gently.

Roy paused a moment, winced, then moved a hand up to feel his head and the bandages covering his face. Joanne pulled his hand away gently. "How was the surgery?" Roy hesitated as he asked.

"Dr. Brackett and Dr. Cahan took good care of you, honey. Now you just need time to heal. How do you feel?"

Roy didn't press the issue about his eyes. He had his mind on other things. "Hurts some, but I'm okay."

"Glad to hear that pal!" Cap said as he announced his presence, entered the room and shook Roy's hand.

"Cap!" Roy greeted him then Chet, Marco and Mike in turn, each expressing their heartiest well-wishes for their friend.

Roy slowly lifted his head from the pillow and turned, as if looking over at the next patient bed. "Is Johnny in here?" He had fully expected that Johnny and he would be roomed together, if Johnny were stable enough to be moved to a regular room.

Joanne and the others exchanged an uncomfortable look. Roy sounded a lot better this time, but they weren't quite ready to tell him about Johnny.

Strangely, Roy heard his question met only with total silence. He wondered why? After all, it was a simple enough question. If Johnny weren't in this room, then he was somewhere else, right? Perhaps they thought he'd be upset to learn that Johnny was still in ICU.

But of course they didn't know that he'd spoken to Johnny after the accident - at least he was pretty sure their talk had been real - didn't know HOW he knew...nevertheless, the reassurance of Johnny's presence was there with him even now...

When the silence continued, he wondered if the others had left the room. Joanne still held his hand in her own. "Joanne?" his voice questioning.

"I'm here," she reached and took his hand in both of hers.

"Well which room is Johnny in? Is he still in ICU?"

Joanne was stricken and looked helplessly at Hank.

Captain Stanley moved forward. "Listen Roy, Johnny...uh...Johnny isn't at Rampart..." Hank searched wildly for any explanation that could forestall the news.

"Oh? They diverted him to another hospital?" Roy could swear Johnny had been right there with him.

"Uh, yeah..." Chet stepped forward, trying to use his fabled gift for gab to their advantage this time. "Rampart ER was swamped and they sent him to UCLA..." Each of them were struggling to keep the pain of loss from their voice.

Roy became even more perplexed, and looked around the room as if staring at each one of them, trying to understand what they were doing.

"Well why isn't anybody over there with Johnny? He doesn't really know any of the staff there..."

"Well Roy..."

Roy became more agitated as he thought about it. He couldn't understand why the guys of 51, usually a close knit group, wouldn't be there for Johnny as well. What if Johnny woke up and the only thing he saw was a stranger's face? How could they do that to him? The thought upset him and he leaned forward, as if to get out of bed, but between the weakness and the pounding in his head, he couldn't complete the maneuver.

Hank and Joanne leaned forward to restrain him.

"Take it easy, Pal." Cap congratulated himself on conveying a calm soothing voice that was decidedly unlike the inner turmoil inside him right now. "We're uh...we just wanted to check in on you first, then we're heading over to UCLA to...uh...see Johnny," he finished lamely.

Joanne was forced to turn her eyes away at the speech, not wanting to break down again. Her husband had gone through so much already...

Roy stared in the direction of Cap's voice, trying to understand what wasn't being said. "Cap? What's wrong? Has he taken a turn for the worse?" Roy felt that Johnny was alive - felt it inside. But the silence from Joanne, and the others, was beginning to plant a seed of doubt.

"Listen to me, pal." Cap said quietly, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Johnny..."


Author: Stephanie TT2

Johnny.... Um...didn't make it. His injuries were too bad. Cap said as he looked down at the ground.

"What do you mean Johnny didn't make it. I talked with him. He was doing fine a while ago" Roy said as he tried to sit up straight in the bed, causing him pain.

"Hey easy there Roy. Dixie told us Johnny didn't make it. I'm going to head over to UCLA to get him..um..." Cap tried to finish what he was saying, but found that he had a large lump in his throat.

"NO, No... Johnny is alive.. You gotta believe me. I talked to him ...I went and got him back". Roy became more agitated.

"Honey you need to stay calm" JoAnne said as she looked at Cap for help.

"Marco,go and see if you can find Dr.Bracket" Cap said as he moved closer to the bed.

"Right Cap" Marco moved towards the door.

Roy tried to get out of the bed and would have fallen if Cap had not reached for him.

"Roy, you need to stay put, Marco went to get Dr. Bracket. Maybe he can give you a little more information as to what happen to Johnny." Cap said as he rested his hand on Roy's shoulder.

Looking up blindly. Roy tried to slow his breathing. He lay there with his head on the pillow. "I know Johnny is alive! Roy thought as his head pounded and side hurt.

"Roy,are you okay?" JoAnne asked as she watched Roy seem to give up.

"Yeah...Look I just want to be left alone for a bit. You all understand" Roy said as he turned his face towards the sun.


Author: DiAnne ;)

Setting the phone back on its receiver, ...Josie's hand froze. Was this it? Was it time? She shivered slightly from the chill of the room against her wet skin. Sighing deeply, she shook her head backwards, sending long tendrils of damp hair flying against her shoulders. She took one last long look at the black instrument her hand was resting on then hurried into the next room to dress. Having thrown on a pair of old sweats, a T-shirt, and her tennis shoes, she grabbed her bag and headed out the door. Pausing momentarily, she looked around undecidedly. Should she take it? Would she be able to pull it off a second time? Not wanting to waste any more time, she walked over to the corner of the living room where she had last thrown it, picked it up, and buried the dirty blond wig deep into
the bottom of her bag. It never hurt to be prepared, just in case….

Closing the door behind her, she felt a pit in the bottom of her stomach. When she returned, what would her life be like? Each time she left this place, she never knew what surprises life would throw at her before she returned. It was almost expected at this point that nothing good would happen in her life. Strangely enough, she didn't really care anymore. Nothing mattered to her anymore. She has already lost everything that had
mattered to her.

Josie barely remembered the drive over. The roads were filled with the usual amount of traffic that normally annoyed her. Her hair dried quickly as the wind from the windows blew the long strands about her face. The houses and businesses whizzed past her car window as she raced to her destination, but she noticed none of it, so deep in thought was she. Even pulling into the familiar parking lot failed to pull her out of her thoughts. It was only when she ran up to the building did her thoughts pull her up short. Her steps slowed
to a crawl. She gulped in the fresh morning air till it fairly choked her. She stopped just short of the entrance, afraid to go on.

She rummaged through her bag, pulling out a crumpled photograph. Staring at the faces looking back at her for several minutes, she shoved it back into the depths of her bag. Taking a deep breath, she put one foot in front of the other and continued on with her journey.


Author: StephanieTT2

Making the long drive to UCLA...was the hardest thing Hank had ever done in his life. In his entire firefighting career, he had never had to claim a friend who had died.

Sitting in the parking lot of UCLA, Hank thought back to what Roy had said, about getting Johnny back. About knowing that Johnny was ALIVE. Roy was taking this hard and Hank wasn't sure whether Roy would ever recover from his friend's death.

"Well gotta gotta get this done" Hank thought as he got out of the car and headed toward the Emergency entrance.

His feet felt like he had lead bricks shoes on. Walking up to the counter, he waited until the nurse got off the phone.

"Can I help you sir?" Nurse Carol asked as she looked at the fire Captain standing in front of her.

"Um....I hope you can. I am here to claim the body on one of my firefighters that was killed in the explosion at the mall." Looking around at the people sitting in the waitng room, Hank wanted to be anywhere but here.

"Were you notified of his death?" asked Nurse Carol as she looked up the recent posting of deceased patients.

"Um..not exactly. Dixie MaCall over at Rampart called and asked about the condition of John Gage." Hank said as he watched a young lady with long hair come into the emergency area and head towards the elevator.

"Why does she look so familiar?" Hank thought as he returned his attention to Nurse Carol.

"Sir, I have no deseased patient by the name of John Gage listed. Are you sure that he was brought here?" Nurse Carol said as she checked the list again.

"What do you mean, you don't have John Gage here." Hank said as he tried to lean over the counter to read the list Nurse Carol was holding.

"Sorry sir, but the is no John Gage listed here" Nurse Carol said as she watched the face of the fire Captain start to turn red.


Author: DiAnne ;)

Josie walked through the glass doors with a new sense of purpose. Of course she had to be here. There was, after all, no one else. As she passed through the lobby, she did
something she normally never did. She glanced up to look up at the other people in the room. As she did, a pair of eyes caught hers. Startled, she dropped her head slightly and averted her gaze away from the prying eyes.

'What is HE doing here,' she thought to herself. 'He's...he's one of THEM! Omigawd, they know...they found ou...' Josie had to find out for herself. Piling into the elevator with the rest of the waiting visitors, she punched the number for the floor where ICU was located.

Finding the nearest restroom, Josie slipped into an empty stall and pulled the wig out of its hiding place. Carefully tucking her own long dark locks under the blonde disguise, she walked back out with an renewed air of confidence.

Finding the nurses station at ICU overcrowded, she slipped by unnoticed. Making her way to the room where she had found the fireman earlier, she was just about to enter when a hand on her arm stopped her.

"May I help you?" a nurse in her white uniform asked.

"Um, yes, I was just wondering about the fireman that was brought in. Is he seeing visitors yet?" Josie asked the unsuspecting nurse.

"You mean, John Gage? Are you family?" the nurse asked hopefully.

"His name's...? No, I'm not family. I just wondered if he was able to have visitors." Josie tried to explain. His name was John? She hadn't known that before. In fact, other than the fact that he was a fireman, she knew nothing about this person. She wanted to get in there so bad she could taste it, but more importantly, she wanted to know if anyone else had been in to see him.

"Oh," the nurse said with a note of disappointment in her voice. "I was hoping…He can have visitors, yes, but only family at this point, I'm afraid. Do you happen to know if he does have any family?" The nurse had mistakenly assumed that Josie was a friend at this point. Since noone else had come to even inquire about his status, she had really hoped that this girl knew where this young man's family was. It was quite odd that a patient in his condition was not surrounded by well-meaning friends and family.

"I'm sorry, I can't help you. I have to go now, but I'll check back with him later, when he can have visitors." Josie felt she had gotten enough information to know, that at least for now, this John Gage was still 'dead' to those who knew him. But not for long she feared. Not after seeing that man in uniform standing in the lobby.

In fact, she had gotten more than she'd bargained for, his name.


Author: Sally

The exchange of conversation at his ICU doorway...caught Johnny's attention...although he had only heard smidgens of the words that had managed to filter through his foggy mind -- rousing him from a deep sleep.

For some reason, both voices sounded familiar to him...

He knew with certainty the one belonging to his ICU Nurse, Cara...

but the other one...he thought it too he had heard before -- but when he finally managed to force open his eyes and caught a glimpse of the retreating woman, he saw it was no one he knew.

His heart sank -- 'probably just here to visit somebody else...came to the wrong room...'

He left his head sink back down onto the pillow...even the simple movement had caused severe pain to rifle throughout his body-- which had been battered first by the explosion (the facts of which he still had no real understanding) and then by the well-intention medical staff in their attempts to keep him alive.

The injured patches on his leg -- now debrided of the blackened skin -- burned beneath the bandages,the dressings once again having been changed and a new layer of Silvadene cream applied. He knew Cara had to do the dressing changes -- and the cleansing of the raw tissue, to prevent infection from setting in and to aid in the healing of the burns-- but each second of the procedure had passed with an agonizing slowness.

His legs were not the only sources of pain --

The incision line across the lower part of his stomach also ached -- exacerbated by any movement on his part or even the simple task breathing deeply, which they made him do -- giving him breathing treatments every couple of hours to help assure his lungs would remain free of fluids -- and stave off pnuemonia.

His chest too, hurt -- he could feel where he knew the defibrillator pads must have been placed -- more than once, he reasoned....for the areas to be so inflammed.

And his sterum and ribs felt like they had been tampled over by a stampede of horses.

PAIN...it was his constant companion...

Right now, it seemed....HIS ONLY COMPANION.

His eyes filled with hot tears...as dispair overcame his SOUL.

Where were his friends? What had they still not come?

Didn't they care?

And then a sense of alarm filled his mind -- he knew they had been at the scene of the explosion -- working the fire...Chet had come to his side...had spoken to him briefly.

Could something have gone wrong? Could there have been another explosion?

Maybe something HAD gone wrong-- maybe the reason Cap and the others weren't there -- was because...

THEY...COULDN'T...BE!

Maybe they too had been...

He felt his heart begin to race with fear.

Oh, NO! Not THEM too!!

"What is it? Johnny...what's wrong? Are you in pain, again?"

Cara's tender, caring voice and her gentle touched brought Johnny out of his frantic thinking...

He stared up at her...as she bathed his face with cool water, wiping away the beads of perspiration.

"Here...let me give you something more...."

He saw her fill a syringe with medication -- then watched dully as she slipped the needle into one brownish rubber hub of the IV tubing and began to slowly inject the substance that would flow directly into his blood stream.

'She can find out for you...!' Some distant part of his mind called out... 'Ask her to find out...!'

But, as before, trying to find his voice...managing to form the thoughts into words...seemed next to impossible.

"Try to rest now..." Cara continued speaking. "It's what your body needs most....so you can heal."

"R...Roy?" he wasn't sure if he had gotten out the name...or just imagined that he had.

A second later, as the impact of the medication left him reeling and spinning down into the depth of blackness --

His mind chastized: ROY!? Why in the world had he called out for Roy...?

He knew it wasn't possible for Roy to come! HE had SEEN for himself, the state that his friend was in-- the injuries he had suffered...

Knew that he was somewhere else-- battling his own share of pain -- willing his own body to heal...

So why had the only name he could manage to get out, been...

ROY?

'Because...' Johnny answered the taunting voice. '....I...I NEED HIM!'

As release from the all-consuming pain came in the fashion of a drugged sleep -- only one thought surfaced in Johnny's mind...

'Please come, Roy! Please come!'

Cara leanded down, using her fingers to gently brush away the tears that slipped from beneath the dark lashes as they drifted closed...her heart going out to this brave, young firefighter.

"It's going to be all right..." she said softly. "Whoever Roy is...I'm sure he'll be here soon.'

Cara bit down on her lower lip -- confused.. and more than just a bit angry.

She just didn't understand this -- she had taken care of other injured firefighters before...and it always seemed that there was an overabundance of friends around-- in fact often so many that the staff of the ICU would have to monitor their visiting times-- working out a schedule to keep the room from being swamped.

What was the problem this time?, she wondered.

Even after a full day...why had no one come to see Johnny Gage?


Author: Brenda

Joanne watched as the rest of the crew filed out of Roy's room, helpless. She watched Roy stare, unseeing toward the hospital window. There was no further movement from him, no reaction. As suddenly as he had become agitated, he had gone completely limp, devastated. She squeezed his hand more tightly and leaned close.

"Roy?" her voice was trembling and tentative.

Roy heard Joanne calling him, as if from a distance. He didn't want to answer right away, couldn't. How could he have been so wrong? He was no psychic, but usually he could trust his instincts, his gut feelings.

How could those same instincts he relied on on a daily basis lead him astray like this? Joanne and Cap and the others would never lie about something like that. They would've made sure...

Could it be that his unwillingness to accept a life without Johnny was playing tricks on his mind? Maybe his heart and soul refused to accept that his best friend wasn't going to be around any more and conviently manufactured a lie to keep him from that heart break, the agony...the despair that was washing over him now.

'It was all a dream....a stupid dream. I thought he would be waiting for me over here...'

The burden was too much to bear and his body shook with sobs. Unconsciously, he reached up a hand to shield his bandaged eyes.

Joanne's heart was torn in two as she watched her husband transform from a zombie-like trance to a man overcome with grief.

She couldn't hold back her own tears as she gently lifted him, encouraged him into her arms, held him as he wept. She just wanted to hang on and never let him go, never allow anything to ever hurt him again. So she closed her eyes, held him tightly and rocked...

She was startled by the sound of someone else near the bed, and looked up to see that Dr. Brackett had entered, followed by Marco. Both were grim-faced and reflecting the pain of the distraught figure in the bed. Joanne watched as Brackett inserted a needle into Roy's arm, and in moments, without ever realizing what had happened, Roy stilled and slumped against her. She helped Dr. Brackett ease him back in the bed, covering him carefully with the blankets in a nervous gesture of comfort..

Once they had settled him in, she turned relieved eyes on the physician, knowing he had done it to prevent further stress to Roy's damaged eye tissues, but wishing he could have had time to cleanse his soul of some of the pain... God knew it would be a long process, if in fact, he ever did get over it... She gently brushed the hair away from her husband's eyes, unable to stop the tears from her own, crying for her husband's pain, and her own...

Marco gently guided her from the room...

Author: Mary Ellen

Still confused, Cara left the room. Soon thereafter a soft white glow began to form near the head of Johnny's bed. As a physical nurse running to heed the call of a patient in physical pain, Laurel had come to bring comfort to the spiritual cry of distress Johnny Gage had just sent out! She moved to place her hand upon his brow that he would know she was with him when the voice of a Higher Authority bid her stop.

"Not just now, Laurel! I wish him to know this pain he is in! Its memory will serve me later on!" The Creator commanded. "Go now with haste to your other charge. She is in great need of you. You may return to John at my consent."

"As you will, My Liege!" Laurel said crossing her arms over herself and bowing compliantly. She then vanished from John's room.

To other eyes, it would seem cruel, but Laurel went willing. Trusting in her Creator as a child trusts in its father. He was the very essence of Love and Benevolence! Never would He allow evil to triumph nor would evil ever have the power to triumph over Him. What ever He did or allowed to happen might be judged by ignorance as harsh at the moment but somehow, at some point in time, a higher purpose would be served. That was as certain as the rise of the next day's sun!

Author: Stephanie TT2

Totally exasperated.....

"What do you mean,you don't have John Gage here. Who do you have running this hospital anyway a bunch of TWITS?" Hank asked as he was losing his patience.

"Please sir, you need to lower your voice. Please remember your in a hospital." Nurse Carol said as she looked at the patients in the waiting room.

"Look, I know I'm in a hospital. I want to speak to the Hosptial Administrator NOW!" Cap said as his face went to a darker shade of red.

"Yes sir, I'll get him for you." Nurse Carol said as she dialed the number for upstairs.

"I can't believe they could loose someone like this. This is unbelieveable" Hank thought as he watched the nurse speak into the phone.

"Sir the hospital Administrator, Mr. Brown will be right with you. Why don't you take a seat." Nurse Carol said trying to get the Captain calmed down.

"I don't want to sit down. I'll be waiting over by that water cooler". Hank said as he pointed in the general direction of the water cooler.

Hank walked away shaking his head. "I just can't believe they could lose one patient. Why did it have to be John. All I want to do is get this over with." Hank thought as he started pacing back and forth.

Coming out of the elevator, Mr Brown headed over to the check in counter.

"You wanted to see me Nurse Carol?"

"Um sir, That Captain over there is having some difficulty finding one of his men." Carol said as she pointed her pen in the direction of Hank.

"Okay, let me see how I can help him," he said as he headed toward Hank.

"Sir, I'm Mr. Brown the Hospital administrator, how can I assist you?"

Looking at the man standing in front of him, Hank had to take a deep breath before he could even talk.

"Mr. Brown. I am Captain Hank Stanely with Station 51. I am here to claim the body of one of my men that died in the explosion of the mall. I was told by the nurse over there, that you have no record of a deseased notice. Now I would like to know what the HELL is going on." Hank said as he stared at the man standing in front of him.

"Um..sir if you could follow me into the office, I'll check the computer and see if we can find any information on your friend." Mr. Brown said as he lead Hank to a nearest office.

Showing Hank into the room, he offered him a seat. Settling down behind the desk, Mr. Brown turned on the computer screen and began typing.

"Could I please have to name of the person you are inqurying about?" he asked as he looked up at Hank.

"His name is John Gage. He was the fireman that was brought in the other day when the mall exploded." Hank said as he watched Mr. Brown type the name in the computer.

"Sir, the only John Gage I show in our computer, is a John R. Gage, age 24. He is located in the ICU ward. We have no other John Gage listed in this hospital." Mr Brown said as he checked the records a second time.

Totally stunned,the blood drained from Hank's face. Slumping in the seat."Oh my god, Johnny isn't dead. He has been here the whole time" Hank thought as looked at the man seated in front of him.

"Captain Stanley are you okay, would you like for me to get you a glass of water?" Mr Brown said as he rose out of the chair he had been sitting in.

"HUH...." Hank could not believe this was happening. This had to be some kind of sick joke someone was playing.

"Johnny is still alive!" Hank's mind could not process the information that had been given to him.

Author: DiAnne ;)

After freeing herself...of the hideous wig and stuffing it once again into her bag, Josie made her way back to the all-too-familiar room. One of the many nurses she had seen over the past year happened to be in the room when she entered.

"How is he?" Josie asked in a wavering voice.

"Oh, hello, Josie. Not too good, I'm afraid. I'm glad you're here." The nurse gave Josie a sympathetic glance, then continued with her hourly check of the young boy's vitals. "The doctor will be in here shortly. I'll let him know you're here now."

Josie barely listened as she watched her little brother. She scarcely noticed the nurse's exit. Moving closer to the bed, she sat on the edge, reaching her hand up to stroke the dark curly hair on her littlest brother.

"Tommy? Can you hear me?" Josie whispered, knowing, in all probability, he could not. "Tommy, I saw one of 'them'. I even spoke to him. They don't even know he's here. They think he's dead. He should be. It's people like him who put you here. It's people like him who killed…" She couldn't finish her last thought.

She sat for several minutes, watching him breath, noticing how hard it seemed for him, even with a full oxygen mask covering his face. He looked so pale, so helpless. She wished him away. She knew she would be truly alone if he left, but it hurt her more to see this once active little boy lie so deathly still for so very long. He would never be the same again anyway, so why torture him like this.

Even when the doctor came into the room to apprise her of Tommy's current situation, Josie's thoughts kept returning to that other patient, John Gage. He was so close, yet so inaccessible. She barely listened as the doctor explained about the dangerous bout of pneumonia that had settled into her brother's lungs. She merely caught glimpses of the medical mumbo-jumbo the doctor was spouting. She didn't need a doctor to tell her how sick her brother was, or how weak he was, or how grim the prognosis was.

Just when she thought she would go mad listening to the doctor's monologue, he excused himself, leaving her alone, once again, with her brother.

Josie propped herself on the edge of the bed, leaned close to Tommy's ear, and whispered, "Tommy. I wish I knew if you really could hear me. Can you?"

Met with silence, she sighed.

"If you can hear me, I just want you to know, I won't let them get away with it any longer. Someone has to pay. And I know just who it will be…Tommy?" Sighing, she gave up her one-sided conversation and settled into the easy chair next to his bed.

Her eyes turned black with hate. Her hands clasped tightly in a ball. Her heart grew cold.

'There must be a way to get back in there', she thought. 'I have to find a way.'

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