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Date Posted: 07:35:41 09/06/99 Mon
Author: Brenda
Subject: Joanne took one final, calming breath,

then pushed open the door. She immediately felt some small measure of relief, seeing that Roy looked much better then he had when they had first brought him in. His color was a little better, the various cuts and scrapes had been cleaned and bandaged, and there were freshly applied crisp white bandages circling his head, hiding his wounded blue eyes from view.

She slowly moved forward, drinking in the sight of him, as though it had been years rather then hours since she had seen him last. She gently picked up his hand, holding it tightly in her own. Dr. Brackett had explained that they would continue to monitor him closely for a little while longer, and that he would probably be tired and groggy for a while yet. She didn't care - all she wanted was to be with him.

"Roy?" she said softly, hoping he could hear her, wanting more then anything to hear his voice. When he didn't respond, she bent to give him a gentle kiss.

"Ann?" the voice was groggy and weak, but still it thrilled her heart to hear it.

"Hi honey. How are you feeling? Are you in pain?" Her own voice trembled slightly, the relief that he was out of surgery flooding through her. She squeezed his hand more tightly.

" 'kay..." the tired word finally emerged.

"Good, because I miss you and want you to rest get better," her words were soothing and she gently brushed at his hair.

"How 'bout you?" the worried, weakened voice continued. Roy slowly turned his head a bit, as if trying to look at her.

"I'm just great now that you're here with me." She stroked his cheek gently in comfort.

"Kids?" His voice seemed to be fading somewhat.

"They're just fine honey. They're staying with Susan and Deke right now. They're anxious to see their daddy."

She saw a small, relieved smile appear on her husband's face, having the assurance that his family was okay. He squeezed her hand. Joanne drew in a deep breath, steeling herself for the next question. Johnny was also part of their family, and she dreaded hearing the sad, plaintive words of her husband over again. In fact, the image of his distraught face in the ER earlier was an image she couldn't get out of her head, no matter how hard she tried. She didn't ever want to have to tell him...

Surprisingly, the question did not come, and somehow that fact worried her more. She watched his face but Roy remained silent. Joanne pulled a chair close to the bed so that she could stay with him for a while, make sure he was okay. Once she settled in the chair, she took his hand in hers again, prepared to maintain her vigil.

She could see that Roy looked restless - there was more he wanted to say, but the effects of the medication and the trauma of recent hours seemed to be pulling him away again.

"Roy you just get some rest now and I'll be right here with you." She wanted to make it so that he would never hurt again, knowing it was an impossible task. And when he was stronger, she vowed, she'd have to break the news to him about Johnny. She desperately wanted Roy to get better, but she dreaded that moment of truth and pain - for both of them.

She was startled from her thoughts by her husband's soft voice. "...wanna go see Johnny."

She felt as though her stomach would drop out of the bottom... She held his hand more tightly, nervously running her fingers through his hair in comfort. "You get some rest, okay sweetie?" She wanted to divert his thoughts from this painful subject.

"...just talked to him, over there." Roy continued to mumble.

Joanne became alarmed. The doctors had said that the medication he was on would probably keep him out of it, but it hurt to hear his jumbled thoughts, his heartbreaking expectation of going to see Johnny, as if he were simply recovering next door down. She would be sure to mention it to Brackett in case it was some kind of sign of complications. She continued to brush back her husband's hair and stroke his arm gently, hoping the soft, repetitive motions would soothe him into a healing sleep, away from his troubled thoughts.

"Promised...see 'im over here..." the words were almost inaudible this time.

"Don't worry honey," Joanne said, fighting to keep her voice even. "Johnny is being...taken care of. Please get some rest."

"Yeah, he'll be 'kay." Roy drifted into an exhausted sleep, but not before the smallest of smiles appeared on the tired face.

Joanne stayed there, her hand clinging to his, probably more for her own comfort then anything. 'God I wish I could tell you Johnny was going to be okay.' Joanne thought numbly. 'I wish that none of this had ever happened. I wish...' she looked at Roy tenderly then closed her eyes. 'I wish I never had to tell you that your best friend will no longer be there in your life, in our lives...' She place a gentle kiss on her sleeping husband's lips, then quietly headed for the door, turning to take in the sight of her living, breathing husband one more time before heading out into the hallway to find Dr. Brackett...

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