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Date Posted: 12:31:19 09/02/99 Thu
Author: Mary Ellen
Subject: Johnny looked around him to realize suddenly

he and Laurel were in an operating room. About 50 feet away to his left he could see a group of doctors and nurses gathered around a single patient. From a small section of blonde hair sticking out from underneath the sterile coverings, he could tell it was Roy. He could tell from the voice through the sterile mask, that one of the attending doctors was Brackett. Under normal circumstances, Johnny's first concern would have been that his and Laurel's presence there might compromise the absolute sterile environment every Operating Room requires. However, these were not normal circumstances. Once Johnny saw the blonde hair, he didn't hesitate. He rushed over and even through the group of medical professionals to stand right next to his partner.

"Roy!" Johnny called. "Roy! It's me, Johnny! Roy, can you hear me?"

Johnny bent over the aneatiszied figure in an attempt to somehow make Roy hear him. It was then he saw the true condition his partner was in. He saw Roy's right eye proped open while small, delicate surgical instruments were cautiously removing various sizes of glass fragments. Johnny could see Roy's eyeball so filled with white laceration lines and blood that their characteristic deep blue seemed completely lost. This thought and the symbolism behind it struck Johnny to the deepest core of his being. What if that blue was lost? What if it was forced to be replaced by a pair of dark glass and a white cane? What in the world would Roy do if he went blind? What would Joanne do? Someone needed to take care of her and the kids! How could that be accomplished if Roy were handicapped?

He'd be forced to retire from the Fire Fighting Service, that was certain. But what then? Being a Firefighter/Paramedic was Roy's whole life as it was Johnny's. Roy may as well die right here and now in spite of all Rampart could do for him if he was forced out of his profession.

All these questions and problems were swirling around in Johnny's head. Each one screaming to be solved for the sake of his partner and the entire DeSoto family. As he grappled with these thoughts, Johnny suddenly saw a tray before him that was being used to hold the glass fragments that had been removed. One fragment, due to its size and color stood out from the rest. The crystal heart that had been on the teddy bear figurine Roy was looking at just before the explosion. It had remained intact and John shuttered as he thought of the immense damange to Roy's eye so large a piece must have caused.

"Man, Roy! To think, it was because of the heart you like the bear to begin with. You thought it was the perfect symbol to remind Joanne how much you loved her." Johnny began to break down in tears as he spoke the last sentence. He then felt Laurel come to him gently and embrace him once more, ease an emotional pain this time.

Johnny turned to Laurel and held her by her shoulders "Laurel, if there's anything you can do. Whatever healing magic you have use it for Roy! Please! Forget me! I don't care what happens to me! Roy's family needs him. Do whatever you can to see to it he sees again."

It was then that Laurel was taken with as devilish a feeling as any citizen of the other world could possibly be taken with. Just how far would this charge of hers take this sentiment? How deeply was he dedicated to the values of his forefathers? Was he worthy of the heritage into which he was born? Before her now as an opportunity to find out and she decided to take it.

"John, I can only be of service to one being and one being only! If I were to help Roy, I would have to abandon you." Laurel said.

"Then do it!" Johnny commanded her.

"John, if I were to leave you'd be completely alone!"

"I've made it on my own before! I will again!" Johnny said with hesitant confidence.


"John, there's no telling the depths to which your spirit would be demoralized if I left you. You might lose all will to live and be dead in a matter of hours." Laurel warned him.

"Well, here! Let me make the decision easier for all of you. I'll leave! I'll die right now! You don't have to bring me back to my body. I'm not going back! I don't want any healing! I don't want to go on living! Not if it means Roy has to go blind! I'm leaving! I'm leaving right now!" Johnny shouted.

"Oh, John! Please, you musn't say that!" Laurel said in contrived panic and presenting her folded hands to him in a plea to heed her warning.

"Alright, Death! Here I am!" Johnny called to the air around him. "I'm John Roderick Gage! I'm ready to go! C'mon! Take me!"

"John, Don't! Don't! I beg of you!" Laurel said now dropping to her knees in desperation.

"Do you hear me? I said I'm ready to go!" Johnny continued to call out to the spirit world. "Well, c'mon! Take me! What am I, not good enough for you? Are you ashamed to have me? Are you afraid to have me? Afraid your pure little shining white clique would be tainted by the presence of the spirit of an Indian? Are you all cowards? Prove it! Prove to me you're not! Take me! Take me now! This very day, this very minute!"

"John, please, no! They'll hear you!" Laurel warned yet again but too late!

Hear him they did! and accomodated his wishes! John looked in front of him and beheld the Operating Room wall open up before him. He viewed a black room with silver vapor swirling all around it. There was a single footpath leading up to a solid dark oak door. On either side of the footpath were piled generation after generation of human bones. Above the door was inscribed his name along with the date of his birth and the current day's date.

Johnny watched the door open of its own power revealing a black void beyond. He heard a deep, gutteral voice summon him inside.

"JOHN RODERICK GAGE! STEP FORWARD!" the voice commanded him.

John was taken with a panic he had never known until that moment. But he wasn't going to go back. Proceeding on through that door would free Laurel to stay with Roy and help him get his sight back. No, John wouldn't trade that even for his own life. He walked with determined step forward toward the void.

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