Subject: Re: Santa's Belt |
Author: Dad of twins
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Date Posted: 07:49:13 12/31/17 Sun
In reply to:
Stan
's message, "Santa's Belt" on 14:14:10 12/16/17 Sat
>For a long time, there has been a conspiracy to keep
>the truth about Santa Claus covered up. The story most
>of you have been told is that, on Christmas Eve, Santa
>Claus flies all over the world in his sleigh, bringing
>joy to kids with the toys he leaves under their
>Christmas tree. Well, there is some truth to that, but
>it is only a half-truth.
>
>There are some misconceptions about Santa Claus:
>
>First, he is always pictured as being obese. Actually,
>he's rather muscular and on the slim side. Else, how
>could he get down all those chimneys?
>
>Second, he's always pictured as being jolly, but
>believe me, he has a mean streak in him too, as any
>bad kid can testify.
>
>If you recall the song "Santa Claus is Coming to
>Town", a couple lines go "He knows if you've been bad
>or good, So be good for goodness sake". But the song
>doesn't tell you what really happens to bad kids. Let
>me assure you, it's not a pretty sight!
>
>Have you ever wondered why Santa Claus is always
>pictured wearing a huge belt? Well, it's not to hold
>up his pants! And his belt is not made of patent
>leather as it's usually portrayed. Actually, it's made
>of genuine Texas cowhide. At one time, Santa used to
>punish bad kids by putting a lump of coal in their
>Christmas stocking, instead of fruits and candies. But
>he discovered, to his dismay, that the kids would just
>throw the lump of coal through somebody's window!
>Santa eventually realized that the sting of genuine
>Texas cowhide was a much more effective deterrent to
>bad behavior than a lump of coal. And he has made
>frequent use of his belt ever since.
>
>On Christmas Eve, when Santa enters the home of a boy
>who has been bad, he would wake that boy up. Then he'd
>order the kid to drop his pants and lean over his bed.
>Santa would take off that huge belt he wears and give
>the boy a whipping he'd never forget. Each time that
>huge strip of Texas cowhide would slam against the
>boy's small butt, he would scream like you wouldn't
>believe. And Santa would continue the whipping until
>the kid promised to behave better in the future. To
>keep the parents from waking up from the sound of
>their son's crying, Santa would sprinkle some magic
>dust over the parents causing them to sleep soundly
>until their son's punishment was over with.
>
>In case you don't believe what I've said, just stay up
>all night on Christmas Eve and if you listen very
>carefully, you'll hear the sound of children crying
>all over town. You see, there are a lot more bad kids
>than good ones.
Santa in our family: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VvmQl0DkF5Q/UNTkRbM-PwI/AAAAAAAApPY/CNpnfD0M4aA/s400/Santa04.jpg
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