| Subject: Re: Stopping by home for a visit |
Author:
Master Mike
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Date Posted: 23:27:34 01/08/14 Wed
In reply to:
Keri to my friend MM
's message, "Re: Stopping by home for a visit" on 19:54:40 01/08/14 Wed
Hmmm...
My memory is that I've written to you and not received a reply, but that address has a low storage limit, so I keep emails for days at most, so I have no way to figure it out and it's not important. You're OK and back with us. That's important.
But. Any "offense" I took in the fantasy spanking was for literary effect. I was concerned about your health, particularly because (as I recall) I asked privately about your health and got no response, but I was concerned, not offended.
Now, as to your existential question: "Do you ever wish you could have this obsession removed and if so what would you consider a good replacement? I'm conflicted. I'm learning what started this trigger in me from my past but it scares me to try to imagine what life would be without it. Could I imagine a life where it wasn't right in the center of everything? I don't really know. "
I once sat at a coffee shop with my then submissive. I told her of my love of wilderness exploration and mountaineering (now perforce changed to sea kayaking) and said that if I had to chooses between mountaineering and BDSM, it would be wilderness mountaineering no contest. Mountaineering vs sex, regardless of BDSM? That's like asking me which to cut off, leg or dick? Pass, slice the neck, I won't be me either way, was my feeling then.
In the end, my bad knee ended mountaineering but sea kayaking provided a perfect substitute. Whew, dodged that bullet.
So no, I never wished to be different. I gather that you're not totally comfortable with whatever the trigger was. You are a spanko. Do you function as a woman, wife, mother, friend, worker? Probably so, from what I know. Whatever makes you uncomfortable can be dealt with and if that removes the spanko part of you, it won't be missed. Much more likely is that you'll embrace your inner spanko more clearly than you do now.
It's late, but I'll write privately later - tomorrow's very busy.
Love ya,
MM
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