Jounal Entry Nov, 15, 2006 -- The Muse Mongers Motel Poetry Archives

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Subject: Jounal Entry Nov, 15, 2006

Author:
andy (automatic writing)

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Date Posted: 22:17:56 01/14/08 Mon

Journal Entry
Nov 15,06

(automatic writing)

Sometimes,
when the light is low enough
to change the shape of thoughts,
the way things appear
either blue or yellowed
not quite clear

I focus on the one thing
I may have missed in great light
until I am motionless,
the mind slowing down,
before it drifts to places
that don't need my direction,
no interference,
not conscious of time,
like arriving somewhere in my car
and wondering how I got there,

I have just returned from
from a similar space:

She called today
the one with forever eyes
green like emeralds
I fell in love with them
but, never her

her voice so wanting
trying to tell me
what I knew she couldn't
she fears the answer
more than she needs
to know

we talked about the last time
we sat and shared the wine
how she laughed when I told her
about the girl locked in my house

I love to make her laugh
it bellies up from down below
as I find myself laughing with her
I wish our lives were always
just like that

but knowing how her moods flow
how deep and serious I can be
I remind myself it wouldn't work
then wonder if I talk myself
out of love too much

there was a strange sound
in the woods today
something dying
in great pain

it reminded me
how viscous life can be
for them and yes for me

I'm thankful for the balance
though I struggle still with darkness
but, when the light is loud
like hearing her laughter roar
I fall into the right space
and all is well again

we all bleed from the inside out
we must feel pain, or in joy
we could never REJOICE

my high point for today
was an old friend
a welcomed voice
and the sweet laughter
of her soul

and that should me enough for any man
especially a man like me

ajs

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