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Date Posted: 17:13:32 08/31/09 Mon
Author: Gijs
Subject: Re: Volhard puppy testing
In reply to: Birgitta 's message, "Re: Volhard puppy testing" on 15:29:59 08/31/09 Mon

Dear Birgitta,

Unfortunately I don't know what you know about this subject. To avoid misunderstandings I think we must look at some historical facts first. Many companies that have designed a new car model come to Sweden as there they can test it without being spied upon all the time by automagazine journalists.

Also they can perform unexpectedly a very sharp turn while driving at speed to test if the car will turn over and end on its roof or not. Such a situation might occur in real life for example to avoid a moose crossing the road. So this is world wide called the Moose test (really, no joke).

In 1998 the new model Mercedes, the so called Baby Benz, "capsized" in the Moose test. Afterwards the German chairman was almost in tears when answering nasty questions in an interview on television. A year later, by the way, the improved Baby Benz was the safest car in its class but the damage had already been done to the reputation of "Das Haus" (don't laugh now, this is no joke either, especially not if you understand the German mind).

Volvo and Saab are cars with very weird manufacturers in my opinion. For some reason a Swedish car is designed in such a way that it will take many years for the owner to really need to buy another car. So apparently the Swedish manufacturers do not want to sell many cars. Anyway it is very hard to have a Swedish car turned on its roof by the Moose test. Besides in a Swedish car one can drive straight on and probably have only minor damage to the paint on the front end. The dead moose can then be put safely on the roof to have a lot of meat in one's fridge. This can not be done with a non Swedish car as the roof will dent.

So you understand that in my joke about testing the mental ability of the moose when frightened instead of testing the stability of the car it is useless to use a Swedish car as it probably will not roll on it's roof. Besides any Swedish moose that is not psychiatric will know the outcome of the test and will not be eager to be tested. As Swedish people are willing to spend a lot of money on safety it is -in my joke- obvious they use a Mercedes for testing. I, being Dutch, would have used a Trabant or something cheap like that to test the moose. Why destroy a nice and very expensive Mercedes?

Now how come the Swedish are so nervous about things turning upside down and safety in general, do you think? Well, that is because in 1628 they made a very big mistake with severe consequenses in the form of a very sad naval disaster. You probably know what I mean: the Wasa capsizing in the harbour on her maiden voyage before she had sailed one full mile. See: http://caiman.cv.tripod.com/

What was the mistake? The Swedish treasury was at a very low level because of the war with the Danes so when they needed a new ship they turned to the cheapest builders of that time: the Dutch. Never, never, never trust a Dutchman offering you a bargain! The pleasure about the low purchasing price has disappeared for a long time already when the displeasure about the poor quality continues. Anyway in this case the displeasure was over very quick too as the Wasa probably did not need more than 15 minutes to sail that one mile, but that aside.

The Swedish should have gone to an English shipyard in the first place instead of having their ship being overloaded with too many heavy guns. Also they should have closed the 64 gunports on the maiden voyage but apparently the Swedish know more about Knäckebröd than about sailing. But that is my personal opinion, in fact I know very little about Sweden and I don't want to insult you.

So, in my joke, a country that is willing to destroy expensive Mercedes cars in order to test the mental stability of their mooses should also have a good test for dogs. But anyway the other members of this forum have learned us a lot already about testing dogs so now that this is all explained we can switch to Boerboels again.

Yours kindly, Gijs

Disclaimer: all the views presented above are the personal views of the author and do not necessarily represent the view of the Dutch government and / or the heirs of the Dutch shipbuilder who was hired to build the Wasa. It is not the Dutch mistake that the Swedish king at that time time got the impression the Wasa was guaranteed for ten years while the Dutch builders have clearly stated the warranty would last ten seconds maximum. His Royal Highness King Gustav 2 Adolf signed the official acceptation of the ship before having this limited warranty translated and acted on his own risk.

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