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Date Posted: 00:35:38 12/07/03 Sun
Author: Da-simple-Boi
Subject: Paris

Gaywatch: Paris Hilton's "Simple"
by Christine Champagne

I suspect that the folks at Fox aren't worried about the Paris Hilton sex-tape scandal hurting the ratings for "The Simple Life." If anything, they probably expect the publicity will boost interest in the reality show that debuts on Tuesday, December 2 at 8:30 p.m. EST and finds the Hilton heiress and her socialite pal Nicole Richie -- daughter of Lionel Richie -- leaving Beverly Hills to live and work in rural Arkansas for one month.
Hilton isn't the only one coping with bad press these days, by the way. You've likely heard about Richie recently entering a residential drug treatment program. She was caught with heroin during a traffic stop last February and charged with felony heroin-possession and a misdemeanor count of driving with a suspended license. Late in October, a judge gave her a deferred sentence, which hinges upon how well she does in rehab. Richie returns to court on Friday, December 5 -- just three days after the premiere of "The Simple Life" to learn her fate.

Now back in July, well before news of Hilton's sex tape broke and Richie's stint in rehab took place, both of the "celebutantes" met with the press at the Television Critics Association Press Tour to promote "A Simple Life."

Executive produced by Mary Ellis-Bunim and Jonathan Murray of Bunim/Murray Productions, the production company that brought us shows like "The Real World" and "Road Rules," "A Simple Life" was shot last March and finds Hilton and Richie temporarily giving up the glamorous life in Beverly Hills to live with the Leding family in Altus, Arkansas.

During their stay with the Ledings -- which includes mom Janet; dad Albert; their sons Ryan, 20; Justin, 19; Cayne, a 15-year-old; and 4-year-old Braxton as well as Grandma Curly and Grandpa Richard -- Hilton and Richie actually had to work for a living, earning their keep by cleaning chicken coops, pumping gas, milking cows and waiting tables, among other jobs.

So why would 22-year-old Hilton agree to go from Prada to pig slop? "I thought it would be fun and interesting," Hilton said. "It's, like, an experience I'll never get to do, and Bunim/Murray are just great producers. I love 'The Real World,' and I just thought it would be fun just to show everyone, like, myself, and how I am."

Be forewarned: Hilton said "like" a lot. Richie said it quite a bit, too.

Originally, the producers of the show wanted to cast Hilton and her sister Nicky Hilton. But Nicky turned down the offer. "She couldn't live the simple life," Hilton explained. So Hilton's 22-year-old best friend Richie was called into action.

Hilton, whose life essentially consists of shopping and partying, admitted that she had a tough time adjusting to life in Altus. "In the beginning," she recalled, "I was, like, calling [home], like, crying, like, 'I want to go home! This sucks!'"

So what was the worst job she had to do during her stay in Altus? "Milking cows is the worst," Hilton declared.

"I preg-tested cows," Richie chimed in, "and so that was disgusting ... I just stuck this, like, latex glove on my arm up to here," she said, motioning above her elbow.

"I wouldn't do it!" Hilton interjected.

"And I put baby oil on, and I have to shove my hand up their ass. It was so gross!" Richie exclaimed.

"Eeww! I couldn't even think about it," Hilton said.

"Did the cow seem to enjoy it?" an enterprising reporter asked.

"No," Hilton answered. "It was, like, screaming."

"They loved it!" Richie insisted. "What are you talking about? It was the luckiest cow in America!"

When Hilton and Richie weren't working, they found time to shop -- at Wal-Mart. Hilton had never been to one before, and she thought it was great. "Yeah, I love Wal-Mart," Hilton enthused.

"That was your favorite store," Richie said.

"It was, like, my favorite store," Hilton confirmed.

"She'd ask me every day. She was like, 'Can we please go to Wal-Mart?' I'm like, 'No, it's so boring,'" Richie recounted. "She's like, 'I love it there!'"

Hilton was impressed with the wide selection of merchandise as well as the rock-bottom prices at Wal-Mart. "We bought, like, everything -- magazines, like clothes for five dollars," Hilton said. "It was cool, and because we had to get things dirty, you know, some of our clothes, we didn't want to, like, get messed up. So we'd go there, and, like, buy T-shirts and food and gifts."

Hilton's Wal-Mart sprees stand in stark contrast to this rich girl's typical shopping habits. Before heading out to the farm, Hilton and Richie grabbed their plastic and headed to Rodeo Drive to pick up some essentials in the "A Simple Life" premiere. Among Hilton's purchases: a $1,500 designer dog-carrier bag in which to carry her tiny pooch Tinkerbell to the farm.

Looking back on the purchase, does it now seem frivolous to Hilton given that money like that could probably pay the mortgage on the Leding family farm for a few months? "Well, I always, like, give money to charities and things like that," Hilton reasoned, "and I just like the dog bag. It's cute."

Fair enough.

In listening to Hilton and Richie speak, they sound like clueless teenagers, not women in their early 20s. Still, they seem like nice enough girls -- not bitchy or snobby like you might expect them to be.

During the press conference, I got the sense that most of the reporters in the room wanted to see Hilton and Richie more deeply affected by getting a taste of "the simple life."

One reporter asked Hilton and Richie what they are doing differently now that they've seen what life is like for people of lesser means. "It just made me really appreciate my life, and I get up early every morning and milk cows," Hilton cracked.

Digging for a more substantive answer, the reporter followed up by asking, "So nothing's really changed?"

Richie fielded that one. "Well, it's not like we were horrible to begin with," Richie mused. "We came back, and now we're nice. We were nice [before], and now we're really nice."

Aside from being "really nice" nowadays, it doesn't appear that either of these girls will change their ways. For one thing, they don't sound interested in getting real jobs anytime soon. It also appears that college is out of the question. "Um, I went to University of Arizona, and I stopped going there because I went there for two years," Richie shared. "I felt like I experienced the college life or whatever. I'm over it. I like Hollywood better."

Has Hilton thought about going to college?

"No, I don't need to," Hilton said.

If the girls do have any ambition, it is to see the Leding family again, although they'd like to schedule the reunion on their own turf. "They've never been on a plane. We want to fly them to L.A. and take them to Disneyland because Braxton wants to go, and he's never been there," Hilton said. "So we're going to try and get them out here soon."

In watching the show, you'll see that both Hilton and Richie formed a real bond with the family that temporarily took them in. "They were so nice, and they were so loving, and they welcomed us into their home right away," Richie said, "and they treated us like we were family."


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Today FHM is meeting America’s newest It Girls on New York’s exclusive Fifth Avenue. Paris has just come from her how-to-walk-on-the-runway lesson and Nicky just got out of school. They’re both starving, so with a wave of a toned, tanned arm it’s a short cab drive to ultra-posh downtown eaterie Cipriani. Nestled in a booth in the restaurant, eating chicken salads and drinking Cokes, both girls are polite and witty. And young and rich. Paris’s watch is worth $30,000, and Nicky’s a measly $18,000. As well as acting, Miss Paris has done modelling work and charity work for cancer research (her granny recently died of the illness). Young Nicky is studying fashion design and working on a line of handbags. They laugh at the same things normal girls do - like the geezer with the Seamanesque ponytail seated behind us. And they can natter for New York. Or London, Tokyo, Vegas, Milan...

You mentioned to the FHM US editor that people hate you. Why is that?
Paris: People love to hate us. But when you know us, you love us.
Nicky: We’re nice girls. We’ve been at parties where you just see a group of people whispering and stuff. It’s not nice.
Paris: It’s really mean. People just want to hate us.
Nicky: Shut up. People don’t want to hate us.
You two seem very tight. When was the last time you smacked each other?
Paris: We’re best friends. Once we got in this fight - she beat the crap out of me.
Nicky: I always win the physical fights.

Do you run away, Paris?
Paris: I start crying. She’s a bully. A year ago, she slapped me in the face and then she ran.
Nicky: I slapped her in the face and she threw a candle at me

When was the last time you had to slap an unruly partygoer?
Paris: All right, so I was out on Saturday. This girl looks at my boyfriend. She’s like, “Oh, are you a soccer player?” because he had a soccer shirt on. It pissed me off. I’m like, “Get the hell away from him.” I pushed her and she fell on her ass on the floor. She sat there crying. She kept coming back like, “I’m so sorry.” She kept trying to apologise. I’m like, “Get away from me. Talk to the hand.” She was so desperate.
Nicky: She was trying to move in on Paris’s man.
Paris: She was probably just trying to kiss my ass and be friends with me, because she was, like, saying I’m so pretty. Nicky was crying and laughing so hard. It was the funniest thing I’ve ever done.
Nicky: I felt bad.
Paris: You didn’t feel bad at all. And then our girlfriends said she was in the bathroom crying, “Why is she so mean to me?” She kept saying she was sorry and I kept throwing ice in her face. It was fun.

Tell us something sexy about your feet.
Nicky: Nothing. They’re big. Even though they may be polished, they’re not sexy.
Paris: We have huge hands, huge feet. I hate feet. Feet are gross. I hate it when guys suck on your toes.
Would you let Courtney Love spank you?
Nicky: No. I like Courtney Love. But no, she’s not allowed to spank me.
Paris: I love Courtney Love, but I wouldn’t let anyone spank me. The only person who could spank me is my boyfriend. Jason can spank me.

So many rich, skinny blondes get fake breasts. Has it ever crossed your mind?
Paris: Eww... fake boobs are disgusting. I would never do it. It’s so gross. Girls who are insecure and not pretty get fake boobs because they want guys to look. When you have a beautiful face, you don’t need it. They don’t feel good. We’re classy broads.
Nicky: Having huge plastic things attached to you?
Paris: I love being flat. It’s much sexier.

I promised your publicist that I wouldn’t ask any saucy questions, so we’ll skip...
Paris: You can ask about our underwear.
Okay, describe the underwear you’re wearing.
Paris: Um, none?
Nicky: Mine’s yellow and it has Powerpuff Girls on it.
Paris: You always wear, like, these Toys ’R’ Us underwear. I’m the G-string girl and she’s the little-baby-girl underwear girl.
Nicky: I always wear underwear.
Paris: I don’t. It shows and looks tacky.

We also promised we wouldn’t ask sex questions, so we’ll skip...
Paris: What was it?

It was: “Can ‘it’ ever go on too long?”
Paris: Eww.

What’s your most absurd purchase ever?
Paris: I once won $6,000 in Vegas. I bought two ferrets, a mini tiger and a goat I named Billy. My room-mates let the tiger go because it kept pissing and crying.
Nicky: I once bought a fake-diamond-covered Dolce bra.
Have you ever taken the subway?
Nicky: My parents went through a phase where they told me they wanted me to appreciate money. They were like, “You’re taking the subway. Deal with it.”
Paris: I like it.

Do you appreciate money more now, after learning that lesson?
Nicky: (rolls eyes) No.

Ever had a job Nicky?
I interned at Hamptons Magazine. I was 12. I walked around with a pad and was like, “What do you guys want for lunch?” to all the people who worked there.

Paris, ever had a job?
Um, not really.

Paris Hilton has a knack for attracting attention and always seems to be at the center of things. Sure, some people might feel that this isn't much of a virtue, but Paris is a born self-promoter -- despite her occasional protests to the contrary.

why is she famous?


"Paris the Heiress" is first-born in the latest generation of the Hilton family, of swanky hotel fame. Fat trust fund aside, she is also known for being a high-society party girl, part-time model, and quasi-actress.

overall rating
69
Paris Hilton sets the standard for the wealthy, twenty-something socialites of the 21st century. Her privileged upbringing as heiress to the Hilton millions and her whirlwind itinerary of partying make her seem like a perfect subject for Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.

Even a life that is such an Epicurean feast is not without its hiccups. Paris has garnered unwanted attention in the tabloids for her connections with movie stars such as Leonardo DiCaprio and Edward Furlong. And she hasn't helped matters with her obnoxious conduct at a number of functions and parties at such high-profile venues as the notorious Studio 54, which has been duly publicized by the gutter press.

overall rating
69
Paris Hilton sets the standard for the wealthy, twenty-something socialites of the 21st century. Her privileged upbringing as heiress to the Hilton millions and her whirlwind itinerary of partying make her seem like a perfect subject for Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.

Even a life that is such an Epicurean feast is not without its hiccups. Paris has garnered unwanted attention in the tabloids for her connections with movie stars such as Leonardo DiCaprio and Edward Furlong. And she hasn't helped matters with her obnoxious conduct at a number of functions and parties at such high-profile venues as the notorious Studio 54, which has been duly publicized by the gutter press.

Nevertheless, Paris has made some efforts to step out of the imposing shadow of the Hilton name. She has established herself as a model and taken the first steps toward starting an acting career, as well as made inroads into the business end of the fashion world. It's too soon to tell just how successful these ventures will be, and whether the name Paris Hilton will ever mean more than a hotel in France.


personality & talent
55
Sadly, it seems that Paris' reputation as a "poor little rich girl" is justified. While by all accounts Paris has good relationships with her family, especially her sister and party partner Nicky, her public persona tends to be haughty and self-centered. Along with her well-publicized bathroom line-cutting, another example of Paris' self-absorption is that her favorite movie is Zoolander -- in which she appears.

As for talent, Paris' ventures in film and fashion entrepreneurship have yet to really take off. But to be fair, merely in her early 20s, Paris still has a lot of time to explore and establish herself as something other than just another excessively wealthy socialite.

sexiness
76
Despite her protestation that she hates being famous, Paris adores the spotlight, and is very uninhibited (as her alleged appearance in a homemade sex tape with Rick Solomon would suggest). Combine that lack of restraint with a pouty, girlish joie de vivre, and you've got quite a package -- or a handful, if you tend to be more cynical.

In the end, Paris' sexiness is a matter of personal preference. Her lack of sophistication, despite a privileged upbringing, when amplified by infantile antics, could be a real turnoff for many. Nevertheless, a breezy attitude, a pretty face, and a juicy bankroll are enough for some men. And since when were "respectable" women automatically sexier anyway?

accomplishments & fame
59
Ironically, Paris' main accomplishment is that she has made herself famous without really having accomplished anything, aside from some modeling and bit parts in films like Wishman, Nine Lives, The Hillz, and The Cat in the Hat. She is also the star of FOX's reality show, The Simple Life, which features Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie (daughter of Lionel) living on a farm.

But you have to give her credit for dropping some of her cash on charities and charitable events, such as a casino night to benefit Harlem's Room to Grow charity. And her trying to make a mark in the real world is commendable (even if it is the rather bogus world of fashion).

Paris' fame remains closer to notoriety than true recognition. She is still a fixture in gossip columns and the tabloid press thanks to her antics at parties and string of high-profile boyfriends, and has now apparently become a role model for other attention starved socialites looking to up their public profile.

natural beauty
78
Paris isn't quite a voluptuous knockout, but she certainly is pretty, and her success as a model is understandable. Her slender frame is certainly the stuff of cover girls. Her blonde hair, brown eyes, and sensuous mouth round out the picture.

But since she is still in her early 20s, Paris has the waifish, not-quite-developed look of an awkward teenager, which can detract from her assets. Perhaps in a few more years her beauty will mature a little more, and, by doing so, deepen.

personal style
76
Paris' style leaves a bit to be desired, as it tends to shock rather than soothe. At a high-profile L.A. shindig, for example, she wore a white shredded-hem silk dress with rhinestones by Heatherette, sky-high Patricia Field platforms, and a white bomber hat by Gucci -- and she looked like a dude ranch reject.

Usually, Paris can be seen in low-slung Frankie B. jeans, a tank top, a denim jacket, faux-diamond waistbands, and too much makeup: In other words, a more urban kind of overpriced pseudo-chic. It's difficult to imagine Paris in anything truly elegant.
quote



"I don't want to be known as the granddaughter of the Hiltons. I want to be known as Paris."
-Paris Hilton

biography



Paris Hilton was born on February 17th, 1981, to Rick and Kathy Hilton, making her the great-granddaughter of Conrad Hilton, founder of the Hilton hotels and source of the family fortune -- estimated at $300 million. Her grandfather, Conrad "Nicky" Hilton, Jr., also brought some notoriety to the family, as he was the first of Elizabeth Taylor's many ex-husbands. Paris' younger sister, Nicky (born in 1983), shares the throne as co-heiress of the Hilton empire.

a posh upbringing

Growing up in Manhattan's ritzy Waldorf-Astoria, the family's New York home, as well as other Hilton digs in Beverly Hills and the Hamptons, Paris didn't seem to yearn for much. Even after graduating from high school, college didn't appeal to her. So, around the year 2000, Paris decided to branch out and become famous.

She began to make a name for herself as a model, soon appearing in shows for designers such as Marc Bouwer and Catherine Malandrino, and she later completed an ad campaign for Iceberg, an Italian label. In addition, Paris has posed for spreads in national magazines such as GQ, Vanity Fair and FHM, and has also been profiled, along with her sister, in People magazine.

tabloid bound

At the same time, Paris became the center of attention because of her relationships -- real or imagined by the paparazzi -- with some of Hollywood's hottest young stars. In early 2000, Paris was spotted around town with Leonardo DiCaprio. However, the press, especially the National Enquirer, blew their casual friendship far out of proportion. Nevertheless, she apparently dated Terminator 2's Edward Furlong for a few months, and was later seen out and about with boxer Oscar de la Hoya. Paris has also been linked with actor and Tommy Hilfiger model, Jason Shaw, as well as Sum 41 lead singer Derek Whibley.

Paris, along with her younger sister Nicky, also became notorious as socialites, gracing party after party and getting bad press for their antics. For example, Paris has grabbed headlines by shoving ahead of others in a washroom line, then, when upbraided for her rudeness, quipped that she only wanted to look at herself in the mirror. She has also danced on top of bar banquettes, gone topless for attention, and paraded around in designer T-shirts with slogans like, "Got Blow?" Yet Paris maintains that the bad press "sucks" and that "people are mean."

new projects, a new paris

Perhaps in an effort to clean up her image, Paris has tried to make her mark by working on more substantial projects. In 2001, she had a cameo appearance in Ben Stiller's fashion spoof, Zoolander. Other appearances include a role as a strung-out supermodel in the film short QIK2JDG, The Hillz (co-starring boyfriend Jason Shaw), Wonderland, and the big-screen adaptation of the Dr. Seuss classic, The Cat in the Hat. She can also be seen in the FOX reality show, The Simple Life, which is based on Green Acres, and features Paris Hilton living on a farm.

On top of her burgeoning acting career, Paris has designed a high-end collection of purses for Tokyo label Samantha Thavasa, along with her sister Nicky. Paris has also given back; she has done charity work for Toys for Tots. Unfortunately, her attempts to start a modeling company and a makeup line seem to have fizzled.

Paris has recently grabbed headlines thanks to a makeout session with notorious lesbian, Ingrid Casares, and the rumor of a sex tape featuring Paris and Rick Solomon in the act.

What else do you need to know?

The hip-hop room at Mynt is packed with scantily clad sweaty bodies gyrating to Missy Elliott. In one corner, a tousled Tara Reid is making out with her latest flame, businessman Wayne Boich. The banquette on the left is filled with horny New Yorkers who came to Miami to hook up with promiscuous B-list models. And taking in the scene with casual disdain is Paris Hilton, who before her recent porn scandal was simply regarded as a socialite/model. “Let’s get out of here,” she commands, and grabs my hand, even though I am not part of her posse this evening. “Let’s go to Privé. I want to dance.” And who am I to argue? Not only have I known Paris since she was a mere pup in New York’s social circles, but all of my guy friends would kill me if I didn’t get to know her better. After all, she’s every man’s fantasy: shockingly gorgeous, ridiculously wealthy (she’s rumored to be sitting on a $360 million inheritance), a world-renowned party girl and the co-star of Fox’s The Simple Life. Not that many of my friends have a shot with Paris, but everyone wants to hear about her escapades—especially after steamy clips from her amateur skin flick (co-starring producer Rick Solomon) were released via the Internet last month.

So I allow myself to be abducted from the nether regions of Mynt and into a BMW SUV filled with a group of shaggy youths, whom Paris has similarly kidnapped for the weekend. One of the passengers, a male model who may not have hit puberty yet, is wearing a “Free Martha” T-shirt. When did Martha Stewart become an icon for the younger set, I wonder? As we tear up the streets southbound to Privé, Paris bops to the hardcore hip-hop beats vibrating from the radio and chain-smokes at an astonishing pace. Meanwhile, the guys, who lean toward the grungy side, are paying more attention to the music than the most gossiped-about young lady in America.

With hair so short and slicked-back it looks as if she just emerged from a pool, Paris is striking. When I suggest that she resembles a blonde Robert Palmer girl, she stares at me blankly. “Who?” she asks, although she seems to know the late Palmer’s song “Simply Irresistible” when I hum a few off-key bars. The new ’do, which was executed by celebrity hairdresser Chris McMillan, only amplifies Paris’ doelike blue eyes. She’s outfitted in a turquoise Juicy terry-cloth strapless top and miniskirt with a matching turquoise clutch, not her normal glam garb. “I’m sick of dressing up,” she says. Between her freshly shorn locks and casual attire, it’s obvious that Paris Hilton is looking for a change.

Unfortunately for Paris, what should have been a whirl of good press surrounding her stint as a reality-TV star (her show, The Simple Life, debuts on December 2nd on Fox) and budding actress (she has a small role in the holiday blockbuster The Cat in the Hat), has instead turned into a media clusterfuck, as journalists from all over the world are clamoring to get the latest scoop on the hotel heiress’ spicy sex life. Not only has her homemade porno, which was shot in infrared night vision three years ago, been downloaded to death, but there are even more sex romps on the way. The latest tour de force, which is rumored to have been filmed at the Bellagio hotel in Las Vegas last June, is an apparent three-way between Hilton, MTV poster boy Simon Rex and Playboy Playmate Nicole Lenz.

There hasn’t been this much attention on homemade porn since Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee’s honeymoon video was circulated throughout Hollywood and beyond. To make matters more complicated, Solomon, married to actress Shannen Doherty, is suing Paris, her parents, Rick and Kathy Hilton, and her publicist, Siri Garber, for $10 million for character defamation. One can’t help but cringe as the situation unfurls into a story more suited to the National Enquirer than The New York Times.

There’s no doubt that Paris wishes she was back in Altus, Arkansas, the town where she and best friend Nicole Richie roughed it for 30 days, all in the name of must-see TV. The two scandal sisters (Nicole, the daughter of ‘80s crooner Lionel Richie, was just released from rehab after being busted for heroin possession) deprived themselves of their usual comforts—cell phones, shopping sprees and credit cards—and lived life in the slow lane. Certainly, no one in Altus (population 817) had even heard of Paris Hilton before filming for The Simple Life began.

Nevertheless, this small town was quickly schooled on the antics of heirheads Hilton, 22, and Richie, 21, who caused local tongues to wag as they paraded around in baby doll designer dresses and smooched cute farmers. (“Country boys are sweet,” coos Paris.) Shacked up, literally, with three generations of the Leding family, the two celebutantes had to survive midnight curfews, grueling chores and a bedroom equipped with an open well. “What are wells for?” Paris asked her shocked hosts on the first episode. And, even more frightening, there was only one bathroom for the whole family.

A modern take on Green Acres (which is ironic given that the original show starred Eva Gabor, sister of Zsa Zsa, who was married to Paris’ great-grandfather Conrad Hilton), the fish-out-of-Evian story depicts life on a farm with a twist. “It’s a really small town,” Paris recalls, “but the people are amazing. Everyone is so sweet. It’s like a different world. I’d never been to a small town before. But I had a good time.” The horrified look on her face when she is asked to pluck a dead chicken on the first episode says otherwise, however. “No way,” she utters to her host family, the Ledings. “I won’t do it. I’ll throw up.” Adds her cohort, Nicole: “I’m not plucking anything but my eyebrows.”

One-liners like this are sure to turn Richie and Hilton into the next Jessica Simpson, whose gaffes on MTV’s Newlyweds have become notorious. On the first episode alone, Paris comes across as a ditz with her commentary on Wal-Mart: “What is Wal-Mart? Do they sell wall stuff? Do you hang out there?” According to the high-school-educated deb, however, she was just playing a part. “I know what Wal-Mart is,” she insists. “Like, who doesn’t know what Wal-Mart is? It’s the biggest company there is. I just said it to be funny. The show is supposed to be funny—like Clueless meets Legally Blonde. People may think that I’m being serious when really I’m just playing with it. It’s television. It has to be interesting. But since it’s a reality show people are going to think it’s real. I’m nervous about that.”

And she should be wary because the media is always gunning for this privileged pop princess—especially in the light of her sexcapades. In a more innocent time, however, Paris was only infamous for her high-profile couplings, including a short-lived engagement with male model Jason Shaw. She has also been linked to everyone from Chicago Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher (“He’s my friend. That’s it”) to Madonna gal pal Ingrid Casares (“That got started because I was in Miami the day after the MTV awards with the Britney and Madonna kiss. Just because of that they wanted to start something else”) to legendary Hollywood producer Bob Evans (“That’s so ridiculous. He’s a nice man and I know him from my mom. But I’m 22 years old”). Paris laments, “If I’m even seen in the same nightclub as someone then I’m dating them. I’ve been romantically linked to people I don’t even know.”
Actually, Paris has been on the media’s radar ever since Vanity Fair published a scathing, in-depth profile of her and her sister, Nicky, more than three years ago. And she is in “Page Six” so often they should rename it “Page Paris.” “I have no idea why I am in the media so much,” she says. “The press just makes things up about me. But I live my life.” It would be an understatement to say that Paris is going to be brutalized by the press even more during The Simple Life’s run throughout December and into January.

Of course, the producers, Mary-Ellis Bunim and Jonathan Murray, who also created MTV’s The Real World, stirred the pot by outfitting Hilton and Richie in designer ensembles unsuitable for country living. The girls had a stylist pack for them with labels like Manolo Blahnik, Christian Dior, Gucci and Louis Vuitton. Throughout the show, they wear stilettos and wrap dresses versus sneakers and overalls. “They wanted us to stand out,” Paris confirms. Even Tinkerbell, Paris’ teacup Chihuahua, is dressed in doggy couture.

To complete the torture of Paris and Nicole, they are given daily chores that range from milking cows to picking up road kill on the highway. They also stylishly toil at Sonic (a fast-food chain), a gas station and a taxidermy office and as commercial fishermen. But the day with the cows stands out most for Paris: “We milked hundreds of cows. It was gross. I thought you would just squeeze them. But really there are all of these machines. We had to do 200 in one day. They smell so bad and kick you. I never want to drink milk after doing that.”

When they aren’t working, Paris and Nicole tool around Altus in a beat-up Ford pickup truck, the ultimate small-town cliché. “This is so ghetto,” Paris mutters when she first gets in the pickup, which is a far cry from her Porsche back in Los Angeles. Nevertheless, the girls make it through their monthlong ordeal and midnight curfew with high style and a wicked sense of humor. All in all, it was an interesting experience, and one that will be immortalized on national TV this month. “It was nice to be quiet,” Paris comments. “It was good to get away from the excitement of the city. But living without a cell phone was the worst.”

Back in Miami, Paris is living anything but the simple life. Her aforementioned cell phone is humming away as the crowd parts to let us into the VIP entrance. The frenzy continues even in the ladies’ room, where Paris is asked to pose for pictures in front of the stalls. And this is before the porn scandal, The Simple Life and her parts, albeit small ones, in movies such as Wonderland, Win a Date With Tad Hamilton!!!, The Hillz and The Cat in the Hat have come out. One can only imagine the attention she will generate as a full-fledged actress.

Paris is also working on an album, which she describes as “rock/pop.” In the preliminary stages, the project has no deadline or deal. Nevertheless, the budding vocalist, who compares her voice to that of Kim Carnes, hits the recording studio three times a week when she is in L.A. “I’ve always sung but I was just too scared and shy to do it in front of people. Now that I’m getting older and more secure, I’m getting in the studio and doing it.” While “shy” is not the adjective most people would use to describe Paris, she actually has a very soft, almost needy side to her.

“ I’m a lot different from what people think,” Paris emphasizes. “Yes, I do go out. I’m young. Who wouldn’t go out? But that’s not all I do.” Paris’ entrepreneurial streak includes a jewelry line, which is sold exclusively in Japan, and an upcoming clothing collection. Then there is her charity work, which is very personal for the young socialite. “We do work for breast cancer because my grandmother died from that last year,” she says softly. “We also work with multiple sclerosis, because my other grandmother has that.” Luckily, this allows her to merge her love of partying with good deeds.

Paris is also seemingly indestructible. Not only has she weathered more bad press than Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky combined, but she also keeps venturing out and into the media’s line of fire night after night—despite her escalating sex conflagration and impending lawsuit. Even at 4 a.m. when Privé is winding down, Paris is still running to the next hotspot—on this evening, back to where she started. “C’mon,” she says, grabbing my arm again, “let’s go to Mynt. I want to dance.”

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