| Subject: A young child who didn’t dare to ask for a very special wish |
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Fireball
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Date Posted: Wednesday, October 31, 2018, 11:56: am
These events actually happened in my own life. They are written down to keep them for posterity. They are not invented, they are true:
As a toddler, in a sense, I was somehow very special. I had some unusual oddities that other children at the same age normally didn’t have. But people around me unfortunately didn’t pay the appropriate attention to it. For example I really liked to wear diapers when I was a young child, especially at night although I didn’t need them anymore. I enjoyed its soft feeling. But at the age of 3 years and above my parents suddenly didn‘t allow me to do so anymore. It has been hard for me to lose the feeling of safety and comfort not knowing why it was suddenly forbidden. Secretly I used some diapers from my little brother but soon I was caught by my mother. She gave me the final warning not to wear diapers without permission anymore to avoid painful spankings. What an awful message. I started to cry when I remembered my last proper bare buttock spanking. A few weeks ago I didn’t listen to my parents so my father snatched me, bared my buttocks and gave me one smack after the other for 2 minutes or 3. When he stopped I must have been closer to death than to live. My buttocks burned obnoxiously. Never before I was spanked so hard and of cause I didn’t want to experience such a punishment once again. So I decided reluctantly to take off my diaper. Afterwards I was forced to promise not to wear it secretly anymore. It broke my heart but I didn’t want to get spanked so I promised what I was supposed to promise. When my mother left the room I was crying. I had never thought that I was in danger to get my buttocks spanked just for wearing a diaper at night. That was extremely weird. I was still a toddler. What was so wrong with it? Soon I realized that I shouldn’t trust my parents anymore neither my mother nor my father. I couldn’t calculate their reactions. That’s why I decided to keep thoughts and wishes just for myself.
Another oddity was that I desired to get my buttocks injected since I was roughly 3 years old. Usually I was given shots into my legs again and again what I really hated. I hoped to get my buttocks bared for having my cheeks injected instead of my legs. Maybe this would be more convenient. Other kids frequently received such a treatment but I never did so. Most of them screamed extremely loud but that didn’t bother me. I also wanted to receive it but I had no idea what they were doing different to get it. Never before I got my buttocks injected but I was very curious to find out how it would feel. I supposed that it just tickles a little bit and even if it hurts it couldn’t be worse than being injected into my legs. Usually I couldn’t neither walk, nor stand nor sit nor lay comfortably for the rest of the day after getting my legs injected. Whatever I tried it didn’t stop stinging. Unfortunately I didn’t dare to ask anyone for my very special wish. Surely someone could have made this real. That’s why I actually wanted the doctor to place me on my stomach and inject my cheeks. But I was too shy to ask for my extraordinary wish. That was my problem. Consequently I hoped that waiting would made me receive what I desired soon or later anyway.
At the age of 3 I came to hospital and I was given a cotton diaper. Although I would have preferred a plastic one I was very happy to get it. Probably the nurse thought that I would need it. But it was not my intention to wet it. I enjoyed its soft and familiar feeling. In the afternoon a nurse came to my bed and brought along something that I could not identify. She pulled down my pants and placed me on my stomach. Then she calmed me, opened my nappy and bared my cheeks carefully. Suddenly I was pretty sure that I am finally going to receive my very first injection into my buttocks and I was looking forward to get it. I was very excited and didn’t panic. I always wanted to know how such an injection feels like. So I stayed calm and pretended that I didn’t know what I am going to receive. I was a little nervous but I didn’t want to disturb the nurse. Soon it would get started. But how many injections would I get; one or two or even more? I didn’t dare to ask. Actually I wanted to see the needle before I was going to get it. Needles, especially when being mounted on injections, always impressed me. But I didn’t dare to turn around and a look at it. What if the needle pricks very hard? I tried to keep cool but my heart beat fast and faster. Soon I would feel its penetration. Could I stand it or would I need to cry? Suddenly I wasn’t sure about my toughness anymore. The more I thought it over the more I expected an intensive pain that might make me scream loud and long. Consequently I became a little nervous. I wanted the nurse to get started as soon as possible. But she was still preparing something. I could hear her cursing quietly. Obviously she needed to fix something before I could finally receive my injection(s). I tried to stay cool but waiting with my buttocks already being bared was extremely awful. I became more and more fretful because I didn’t know what was going on. After 3 or 4 minutes the situation hasn’t changed at all. She was still busy and I had no idea what she was preparing for so long. I closed my eyes and remembered the first child, that I ever saw, who got her buttocks injected:
Some month ago I watched a 3- or 4-year-old toddler-girl at the pediatrician. The actual injection-procedure was already over and the girl was crying and sobbing while she was standing on the examination table. The door was opened so I could watch the situation undisturbed. With one hand she was holding her mother and with the other one her buttock. When she suddenly lifted her hand I could see one Band-Aid. Then her mother started to put on her tights and she was still crying. Suddenly she saw me and tried to hide her tear-stained face. She turned around and made me also see a second Band-Aid on her upper buttock. Now I knew exactly what had happen to her. She got two shots into her buttocks. Finally, when she got dressed mother and daughter hugged each other. This was so unbelievable cute. I envied her for be hugged and cuddled. Her intensive crying absolutely did not scare me. I wished that I would have been her just for the last 10 minutes. I also wanted to receive such an injection someday.
And in the hospital my chances seemed to be very good to get it. My buttocks were already bared and the nurse was standing right next to me. But for the last 5 minutes she was preparing something and I didn’t knew what she was doing. With a shy smile I let my memories go on:
Approximately 10 minutes ago a little boy in my room also was placed on his stomach while getting his diapers chanced. Some time passed by and suddenly he screamed out extremely loud. I was curious what was going on but unfortunately I couldn’t see everything. He didn’t get spanked but why was he crying? The nurse obviously was fighting to hold him tightly and he was screaming and shouting. A few moments later she seemed to massage his buttocks for a moment. Afterwards she closed his nappy and had some trouble to put on his blue pajamas. Then she laid him into his bed. He was screaming and kicking like he never did before. Finally the nurse picked up her stuff and went out of the room. I was somehow confused: Obviously she gave him a painful injection but afterwards she didn’t comfort him. That was strange. She just left him alone to kick his arms and feet wildly and obviously in pain. I never heard him scream before but after this event he needed more than 5 minutes to calm down. I was sure that he got 1 or 2 good injections into his buttocks. But I didn’t feel pity with my little fellow. I liked to watch the situation and I also wanted to receive such a diaper changing because I never experienced a butt-shot before.
And earlier than expected it should be my turn to receive the same treatment. My bottom was already completely naked and I was looking forward to get my first shot into it. Of cause I didn’t even want to cry but if necessary I was preparing to scream loud. Actually I wanted to show that I was tougher than everyone else was. But I couldn’t remember any child in my age who could ever stand this. Everyone was making a drama when getting a butt-shot. „So please do it quick!” I thought “Waiting is extremely awful!“ Since many minutes I was waiting but nothing at all happened. What was the nurse preparing for so long? Hopefully nothing has gone wrong with the syringe. I turned my head around but I couldn’t see neither a needle nor a barrel filled with some liquid. I wished that she started to inject me as soon as possible to get it over. While waiting I thought about possible pain again and by the time I became more and more nervous. Laying on my stomach with bared buttocks and waiting for the nurse to get my shots ready was unbelievable awful. I didn’t know how much pain to expect and I didn’t even know how many injections I am going to receive. Waiting and not knowing what was going to happen made everything only worse. After a while I couldn’t hold back some tears anymore. I was full of emotions but the nurse obviously knew why I became more and more nervous. She comforted me by saying that this is not going to hurt at all. I looked astonished. She told me just to expect an enema, not a shot. I was totally confused and tried to stand up. Probably I must have looked even sad. The nurse fondly comforted me and placed me on my stomach again to give me the enema which she meanwhile had prepared. Afterwards I was half released and half disappointed at the same time. I had been pretty sure to get my buttocks injected. But obviously I had guessed totally wrong. Why was it always me who was passed over and what did other kids different to get their buttocks injected? Finally I started to cry. I had too many emotions. On the one hand I was really glad that it didn’t hurt but on the other hand I knew that I had missed a great chance. But the nurse comforted me lovingly. In the end she seemed to read my thoughts. Finally she asked me, whether I rather want to receive an injection into my buttocks next time. I stopped crying. But at this moment I was a little coward after waiting for so long. I looked at her and shook my head barely noticeable. She smiled and left the room. It took some time to make me realize what an offer I had denied. A few minutes later I felt terribly for kindly shaking my head. I really wanted to know how it feels to get my buttocks injected. I couldn’t imagine that it really hurts so incredibly bad. Within the next days I wanted the nurse to come back and bring along an injection for me. But she didn’t. Every morning while diaper changing time she picked up my little friend, brought him to the diaper chancing table and removed his nappy. Then she cleaned him and a few seconds later he screamed out extremely loud. I knew that he was injected and I wasn’t. This always made me jealous. I couldn’t believe that I really shook my head when I was asked. My self-esteem had a crack. I felt terribly for the rest of the time. Unfortunately I didn’t dare to ask neither the nurse nor the doctor for my very extraordinary wish. What a pity. Surely they could have swapped a tablet for an injection into my buttocks. But ok, I was just 3 years old and a little shy.
One morning it was time for getting bathed. All kids were undressed and had to sit in a row. Soon I began to feel cold. So I tried to jump the row to be the next one who was going to be bathed and dressed. Of cause trouble and conflict was rising soon. The other kids didn’t let me in because they were freezing too. Soon I became angry. I started to cry and tried to push the other kids away. When the nurse had finished to bath the first boy she moved straight towards to me, pulled my arm upwards and picked me up. I was unbelievable glad to be the next one who is going to be bathed. I thought that I got what I desired so I grinned at the other kids who were very disappointed that they weren’t picked up. But the nurse just hold me tight instead of bringing me to the small bathing tube. I was wondering what she was doing. Suddenly she turned me horizontally, face down, and fixed me. My arms and feet hung down limply. Never before someone hold me in such an unnatural position. I was wondering what was going on. I expected the nurse to start bathing me but she just put her hand gently on my naked butt and mumbled something that I couldn’t understand. It sounds angry but I didn’t pay any further attention to it. Then she lifted her hand and one moment later I felt a terrible smack on my little behind. I was shocked and started to cry. Once again she lifted her hand and when she gave me another hard smack I started to scream. Soon I realized that I was in the middle of an abhorred bare buttock spanking. But getting punished in front of everyone was the last thing that I had expected. I started to flail my arms and legs. Fortunately the nurse hold me tight enough so I couldn’t fall down while struggling. After 1 or 2 additional hard smacks on my little behind she stopped spanking me. Obviously I screamed loud and desperately enough. My cheeks burned like fire. I kicked around arms and feet and tried to escape but I couldn’t. After all I was placed at the last Position in the row. All the other kids seemed to be glad that I was spanked properly in front of them. Obviously I had made myself very unpopular. Everyone was smiling and pointing at me while I was crying and wriggling in pain. Some of the older kids also pretended to be spanked and rubbed their buttocks just to make fun of me. Oh my goodness, what an awful punishment. But this wasn‘t the end, it should even get worse.
Some minutes later the boy next to me finally should get bathed. But he tried to escape out of the bathing tube. The nurse had no sympathy for his naughtiness. She pulled up his arm and gave him a good spanking until he screamed loud enough. But I was busy with myself so I didn’t care. I was freezing and my red buttocks were burning like they never burned before. Finally it was my turn to get bathed. The nurse snatched and cleaned me. I was still crying, defending myself and splashing around water intentionally. Afterwards I was dried the nurse laid me down on some kind of diaper-changing table. I stopped crying because I hoped to get a diaper. Some other kids recently got one. But the nurse just chided me for my misbehavior while getting bathed. Finally she turned me on my stomach and pressed down my upper body to fix me. I hoped that she had finally given up instructing me so I kept quiet. I even hoped to get an injection into my buttocks but suddenly I felt another hard smack on my little behind. She spanked my red cheeks once again. Consequently I screamed as loud as I could. Afterwards I didn’t even get a diaper. Obviously I was too old for this. She just put on my pajamas and laid me back into my bed. For the next 60 minutes I rubbed my cheeks and thought over why I was spanked twice. I came to the conclusion that the spanking I received was justified. Although I was freezing I definitely kicked over the traces. I must admit that my behavior towards my fellows and towards the nurse was disrespectful. I knew that I deserved those spankings but somehow I disliked the nurse who gave it to me.
In the next morning the same nurse should dress all kids in my room. But I really disliked her so much at that time. I absolutely didn’t want her to dress me. I wanted someone else, no matter whom. Soon I became angry and started to cry. Due to the fact that I refused to cooperate she didn’t even try to dress me. Obviously she only made an effort to get me completely undressed. When she had bared my buttocks she picked me up I suddenly got a horrible thought: „Could it be that I had gone too far?“ But it already was too late to avoid a spanking. She turned me around once again, hold me tight and started to smack my little, naked behind. Again it burned like fire. I screamed loud but of cause I knew what it was for. This third punishment made me understand that it was always up to me whether to get spanked or not. At home I was spanked every few days for no reason at all. Sometimes I thought it was for my very existence. But there in hospital things seemed to be different. I understood that nobody needs to get disciplined, except, he or she is bagging hard for it. So finally I learned my lesson and when I calmed down I was dressed.
All in all I must say that getting spanked for my misbehavior was the very best she could have done to me. I definitely deserved that. Probably nothing else would have helped me better in this situation. Here and there I needed some corporal punishment because I used to be a real stubborn toddler who often used to test his limits and under no circumstances I want to miss this kind of punishment completely within my childhood. A few days later I was finally released from the hospital without getting my desired injection.
At the age of 4 I became ill seriously. I had some kind of influencer and my parents called a doctor who came into our house. It was an old female doctor. When she examined me she told my parents, that she could give me an injection if desired but the disease has to heal on its own. Then she mumbled something, that sounds like „buttocks“. Suddenly I was wide awake. Did she really say „buttocks“. What a nice offer? Since I was a toddler I desired to get my buttocks injected. But nobody so far fulfilled my wish. So I was delighted when I heard that. Unfortunately my mother already had started to discuss the need of this treatment with the doctor. But the doctor obviously didn‘t want to discuss. She just put her stuff together, said “Goodbye” and left. I was unbelievable upset. I just thought: „No, no, no, please don’t leave, please stay. I really want to get my buttocks injected. I promise to be brave, I am tough enough. Please come back!” But she didn’t. She just closed the door and left. I started to cry but I didn’t tell anyone the true reason for it, because I feared to get spanked for contradicting. I just thought: “Mama, what have you done? The doctor was about to give me the desired injection and you have expelled her! What the hell have you done?” What an awful day. Even in the next days I didn’t tell my parents the true reason for my crying. I knew that my desire was a very extraordinary wish and I couldn’t calculate their reactions. In the worst case I feared to get spanked for such a “Nonsense-wish”. Unfortunately I didn’t dare to tell them what I really wanted to receive.
3 years later, when I was already a school-aged child, I was at some kind of summer holiday camp for medical treatment of children and I absolutely didn’t know what to expect. One day the doctor told the group that some kids are going to receive shots into their buttocks after breakfast. I started to smile when I heard that and guess what … I was told to be one of the chosen. I was unbelievable glad and started to grin. What a nice surprise. I was happy about that but most of the other kids seemed to be very upset. Then the doctor calmed down the group by saying that it is just a little pinch and no reason to worry. A nurse told us that there is still some time left and I use the time for mental preparation. For me everything was fine. I had no fear. I was looking forward to get my buttocks injected and I was happy. It was overdue to take up the challenge of 4 years ago.
Then, in the doctor’s room, I was so excited when I was asked to undress myself. But I was ashamed to stand completely naked in front of a more or less unknown adult person so I hesitated to take off my underpants. But with much patience, the doctor persuaded me to do it anyway and I was so glad that I wasn’t forced to anything at any time that I didn’t want to do. Then the doctor asked me if I would like one or two people to hold me tight. Of cause I didn’t want that. So we made a deal: crying (in case of need) is allowed but wriggling is absolutely prohibited under any circumstances. I looked into his eyes and agreed. It was not my intention even to cry. So I voluntarily climbed on the examination table alone. I was looking forward to an event that I wanted to experience since I had seen it for the very first time. Then I was asked to tense my buttock muscles and when I did so the doctor touched it to find a suitable area for the injection. I was so excited and began to shiver although I was not freezing. Then the doctor disinfected my buttock. Somehow I hadn’t realized that this was the last step before injecting me. He already hold the needle next to my buttock but I thought that he was still preparing something. I looked around dreamily and suddenly, I felt an extremely stinging pain. Something really big had hit my buttock. I opened my eyes wide. I felt like a big dog that bit into my little behind. Soon I began to realize that the needle already had punctured my skin. I tried my best not to cry. It hurt really badly and suddenly I felt some kind of viscous liquid being injected into my buttock. It burned obnoxious but I could stand it. After a few seconds he pulled out the needle and I took a deep breath. It was over. In the End I was happy to get a Band-Aid. Finally I got what I eagerly desired and I made it without crying. What an intensive feeling. That was just wonderful. When I tried to get dressed my butt hurt a lot. But finally I received what I always wanted get. So I left the examination room with a big smile. Approximately 5 minutes later I decided to go to the toilet to find out what pinches my buttock so hard. I couldn’t even touch my swollen buttock without heavy pain but when I realized that the pain came from the area around the Band-Aid I knew that everything was all right. On my way back I met another boy, who was limping and holding his buttocks. He also grinned impish like I did and we knew exactly what had happen to each other. For the rest of the day I was full of proud and fondled my stinging buttock. What an incredible experience.
Next morning I was told to expect another shot into my buttocks, just a small one this time. I smiled and nodded but somehow it annoyed me that I didn’t get those shots when I was still 3 or 4 years old. Anyway, what a nice day. I am going to receive my second shot. I was so excited. In the doctors room I undressed myself voluntarily before the doctor came in. I was looking forward to get just a small injection this time and I was quite relaxed. When the doctor saw me he was astonished. Probably he hadn’t seen a child voluntarily taking off its clothes before it was asked to do so just to get an injection into its buttocks. With a shy smile I climbed on the examination table and expected only a little puncture. But I was outwitted. This wasn’t just a small injection. This one was as big as the one I got the day before. When I received it my butt struggled against it. It burned and hurt exactly like the one I got before. There was absolutely no difference. After 30 seconds it was over but I was so disappointed that I wasn’t told the truth before. The truth wouldn’t have changes my behavior in any rude way. The trust to the doctor was suddenly broken and that was absolutely unnecessary. I was so disappointed. The doctor asked me whether I wanted to receive an additional shot but in my disappointment I even refused to get it. Usually I never would have done so but I didn’t come to terms with being told such a lie. Once again someone had broken my trust. This made me so sad. Later on I regretted my decision to refuse an extra shot. But however, I didn‘t need to cry. This was important for me. So I was extremely proud of myself. Afterwards I couldn’t neither walk nor touch my swollen buttocks without heavy pain for the rest of the day but this didn’t matter. I got what I desired. I wanted to know how it feels like and I didn’t want to cry. And in the end I was still smiling, so … goal achieved. Next day I would go home without any further shots. It was time to enjoy my victory. What an awesome feeling. Never again I had felt so much adrenaline. What a great blessing for everyone who could keep these days in best memories. And I am pretty sure that I was not the only one, who loved those days. Many other kids also seemed to be very proud of themselves for not having cried. Some kids didn’t conceal that they needed to cry. What a strong group membership feeling of belonging together. I have never ever experienced something like this neither before nor after and I am incredible grateful for this borderline experience. From this moment I had an idea how the little boy (4 years ago) must have felt and why he screamed out so very loud. I definitely would have screamed the same way. It was not ok that he was the only one who got his buttocks injected. I also wanted to receive the same treatment at that age. But unfortunately nobody ever injected my buttocks when I was still wearing diapers. What a pity. I really envied my little fellow for such a unique experience that I also eagerly would have liked to share.
Be that as it may. Today I am incredible grateful for the nurse who spanked me in the hospital. She couldn’t have reacted any better. I got what I deserved and I had learned for my life. Furthermore I am very grateful for the doctor who finally gave me the injections into my buttocks. What a pity that he wasn’t my doctor when I was still a toddler. I am really lamenting not to get my buttocks injected at the age around 3. But at least I received it at all when I grew older. What a nice experience. May God bless the nurse as well as the doctor.
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