Women's work -- boys wearing dresses

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Date Posted: 07:42:16 03/06/12 Tue
Author: Chahna
Subject: Women's work

When the New Year began, one of my resolutions was to have my son Abhi, 11, start helping me keep house. I gave him a list of tasks that included loading and unloading the dish washer, doing his own laundry, and helping clean the apartment once a week. He said that is women's work. So, I said then the only way you would do as I ask is if you were a girl? He said yes. I said fine and ended the conversation.

That night I ordered a couple of cholis, a lovely Saree, a black anarkali suit and a pink churidar set. Two weeks later, my oder arrived. In the mean time, I had gotten panties, tights and Capris locally. The Friday night after they arrived, I called Abhi, and asked him if he remembered what he said when I asked him to do house work. He said it is women's work. I said, yes. That is why I have not asked you do it again until now. He said what do you mean? I said, from now on you are Aabharana or Aabha at home. (Aabharana means jewel and is what I would have named Abhi if he were a girl.) Then I showed him his new clothes.

At first he looked very confused. He said those are girls clothes. I said what else would you expect an Aabharana to wear? I could see him getting angry, but he held his temper. I said go bathe and when you are done I will help you. I made him a scented bath. When he was done, I wrapped him in a bath sheet and took him to his room where panties, his anarkali suit, and sandals were laid out. He could see I was serious, and started crying. He said I do not want to be a girl. I said you decided that you can only do as I asked if you were a girl. You will do as I asked, so you will be a girl. These things cost hundreds of dollars and you will wear them as long as they fit.

He cried as I dressed him. I told him how beautiful he was and showed him in the mirror. He took interest in his new image, and the tears dried. What will my friends think if they see me? That you are very beautiful, I said. I could see he was not happy, but I did not care, as his choices brought him to this. Finally, I said, you can tell them this is what children wear in India. That is the truth. You need not tell them it is what girl children wear.

Since then, Abhi has disappeared except for school. Aabharana has taken his place at home. Aabha is a dutiful daughter, anxious to help her mother in any way she can and is learning to cook curry, sew traditional garments, and of course keep house. At first, Aabha was a reluctant daughter, but after the first week or so, I saw her looking in the mirror admiring herself. By the middle of last month she was asking if she could try nail polish, then lipstick and mascara. Now we are discussing when she can have a training bra.

This past weekend, I asked Aabha if she were happy with her new life. She said, yes, she loves wearing beautiful things and hates taking them off for school. She has made friends with a girl in the building who is her age and goes to a private school. The girl knows she used to be Ahbi, but does not care.

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Replies:

Re: Women's work -- michele, 07:24:02 03/27/12 Tue