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Subject: Re: Russ Back To Pat


Author:
Pat to Russ
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Date Posted: 10:50:35 09/28/12 Fri
In reply to: Russ 's message, "Russ Back To Pat" on 19:10:13 09/27/12 Thu

The school our boys attends is a private school and does use corporal punishment. It is not always the go to punishment but it is certainly an option. All of my boys have all had their turns (several times) bent over in the principal's office.

I live near Nashville. Davidson County (Nashville) outlawed corporal punishment five years ago but there is now a push to bring it back as behaviors are out of control. My county still allows it in the public schools but it is not used very much.

We use spanking, although not exclusively anymore as the boys are getting older. All of their friends are also subject to it.

I do have a question and that is about Double Jeopardy. In other words the rule that says spanked at school = spanked at home. Have your boys ever been paddled at school? If so, did you spank again at home?

Russ, I used to not do this but, when PJ was in ninth grade and Caleb was in eighth they got out of control. For some reason they lost respect for the school paddle. I overheard PJ tell Caleb, "Just go ahead and do it, it'll only cost a few licks." I did not let the boys know I heard. Karen and I were already concerned that the boys were getting in more trouble than normal for them so we made a decision. The next week, PJ was paddled for being in an unauthorized area. He specifically pulled his girlfriend in a teacher's workroom to kiss her and they got caught. He proudly told me about it when he got home (although I already knew as the principal and I were friends.) Imagine his surprise when I spanked him long and hard. Caleb got his double jeopardy from me the next month. The boys' behaviors really turned around. It wasn't flawless and they did get more than they should have that year but I think it helped.

I still have the rule but I reserve the right to not spank again if I feel the boy is contrite and learned his lesson and the school's punishment was effective. Only Mark has been paddled this year. He skipped class, left campus and went to a fast food joint for lunch. (He drives.) The principal just happened to be having lunch at the same place when Mark stepped in line to order. Russ, they actually ate together. He was paddled. Karen felt the incident was a little too blatant and so she spanked him again at home. (I was out of town.) He also lost his privilege to drive to school for a week.

Anyway, I feel the double jeopardy rule works. I would appreciate your thoughts.

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[> [> [> [> Subject: Pat's Double Jeopardy


Author:
Russ
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Date Posted: 18:13:46 10/02/12 Tue

Pat,

Within your Friday, September 28 post you asked if my boys have been paddled at school and, if so, are they again spanked at home. Within that post's concluding remarks you added the conlusion that a ". . . double jeopardy rule works."

My younger son has not yet experience the paddle at school but his older brother has taken licks outside the classroom in the hallway and bent over his principal's desk on several occasions. A "Discipline Report" is send home with each student punished in any form (detention hall, additional assignments, paddling, etc.) during the day. Parent are requested to read, sign, and return this form the following morning with the boy or girl. Whenever Bruce is punished he and I meet to review his Discipline Report following the evening meal. He's given opportunity to explain what happened and is encouraged to offer his view of the circumstances. We've found his school administrator and teachers to be extra patient and fair; nonetheless, Bruce is given every opportunity to defend himself.

Do I spank after reviewing a Discipline Report? Yes, Sir; you bet that I do. And at least a couple of reason explain my pracice.

First, Bruce and Adam have heard us repeatedly state that both Mom and Dad view the public school as an extention of their parental authority. It is solely our responsibility to educate our boys yet the nature of modern society requires that we request the assistance of non-family members to help us with our reponsibility. The public school is the agency that we have selected to help with our educational goals. As a result, disobedience during the school day is just as much an affront against us as it is against teachers, principals, coaches, etc. A paddling at school allows punishment to be administered rapidly following Bruce's disobedience. The licking that I adminster later that evening is several hours removed from his disobedience. It demonstrate, however, that parents and school personnel stand united in a refusal to tolerate noncompliance.

Secondly, home lickings following school paddlings are hopefully a way to counter the cavalier attitude toward the paddle that teenage boys sometimes develop. [Hey, look, Pat, I once was a teenage boy myself taking licks at school and feeling pretty macho about it. My paddlings sometimes even became the bragging right among my buddies!] The goal is to help Bruce understand that if he thinks he'll use his school's paddle to feel macho then he'll do so at the peril of the spanking strap that he'll recive later that evening. I still have vivid memories of how my Dad's strap kept me rather humble with my buddies after getting the paddle at school, and for certain it made it lots more difficulty for me to feel either macho and/or cavalier about any of it.

Hope these thoughts are of value for you and your sons. Like you, I know for certain that the Double Jeopardy Rule accomplishes everything (and even more) that is intended.

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