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Date Posted: 21:22:38 10/21/99 Thu
Author: "The Lumberjack" Steve Black
Subject: Attn: Chucky and Leer You all gotta learn not to mess with
Transmission begins...
The Scene: McMorran Arena, Port Huron, Michigan. The house lights dim, and the Jumbo-Tron comes on showing static… The words “The Presidential Hit Squad” flash on the screen then fade back to static… The image of President Vengeance looking pissed off with his hands raised appears then fades to static… A clip of Chucky lying on the mat broken and bleeding flashes up and fades out… An image of “The Lumberjack” in somebody else’s ring, covered with blood and holding a chainsaw appears then fades… The voice of Vengeance leader of “The Presidential Hit Squad” and President of the TTSWF explodes through the arena speakers.
You don’t bite the hand that feeds you Chucky! Get ‘em big man!
The Lumberjack by Jackyl blasts throughout the arena. Some of the fans boo because Steve is a member of the Dream Team and some cheer because they like his style. Dr. Ed Tyro comes through the curtain, followed by the 7’4” 455lb Steve Black. Tyro is wearing an old stained lab coat hospital green pants, and is obviously at least slightly intoxicated. Black is wearing a pair of buckskin pants, black boots and the TTSWF Hardcore title around his waist. Jeff Pettingzoo is in the centre of the ring waiting to conduct an interview. Black and Tyro hit the ring SB steps over the top rope.
Black: Hello Jeff how are you today?
Black offers his hand. Pettingzoo stands back not sure weather to accept. The fans boo and scream to him not to shake. Jeff gives into convention and shakes he huge hand of “The Lumberjack”.
JP: Steve you seem in rare humour today.
Stephen. Please call me Stephen, and I am having a fantastic day. The Doctor here and I here just shot 18 holes at a local course and I got 2 holes in one. I received word that I will be facing Chucky Tuesday night in Battle Creek on Flames.
Excuse me Stephen. How do you feel about the upcoming match with Chucky?
I’ve been reviewing tapes and evaluating his style in the squared circle. The conclusions that I have made seem to point to victory for me. Chucky is rather “sucky” against large men. Forgive the pun.
He laughs a scary crazy person laugh. Then turns toward the crowd and raises his arms.
That was a hell of an encounter you had with Firestorm….
Firestorm? You must be joking. He was more like a match in a hurricane…
A fan screams “Get out of the ring you crazy bastard!” Black turns toward the corner and lowers his face to the turnbuckle. He shakes the ropes and his head violently. Tyro bails out of the ring and runs up the aisle.
Aggggghhhhaaaa!!!! Nobody calls me CRAZY!!!!!!!
Black’s face turns to a mask of stone. He seems to be even larger than before. Black pumps his arms up and down working himself into a frenzy.
Stephen are you all right?
Jack! My name is JACK!!!!!!!!!! Get it right you fu*king moron! Don’t confuse me with that wimp Stephen!
Jack takes a wild swing at Jeff. Pettingzoo then slides out of the ring and finds a place to hide.
Chucky! Tuesday Night you and me, for my Hardcore title. MMMM I can see the blood flowing now! Beautiful delicious human blood! I can’t wait to Fu*k you up boy! Hell they’ll need DNA to identify what’s left of you after I’m done. You god damned stupid freak!!! You YOU want to fight me again??? That was your last dumb move! You’re coming out of this match in a body bag! That’s all I have to say.
Jack turns away and steps over the top rope to the floor. The Lumberjack comes back on and he walks to the announce table, where he finds Chase cowering.
By the way Slick I heard that. I’ll have to teach you again. Don’t you ever fuc*kin’ call me crazy again!
Jack reaches down grabs Jeff by the throat and tosses him clear over the top rope. Black then mounts the top rope and drops a knee on the chest of the injured commentator. EMT’s are attending Jewson as “The Lumberjack” smiling, laughing and raving like the lunatic that he is strolls back to his locker room.
Fade to static...
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