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Date Posted: 12:48:04 10/10/99 Sun
Author: The Slinger
Subject: The Slinger Arrives
**The Scene – Outside an arena parking lot. The Slinger is standing there with the AAW Golden Title Belt slung over his shoulder. You can see a bandage around his head under his Outback hat. He is smirking at the camera.
The Slinger – Well now, I just wanted to make a couple of points with some of the kiddies out there in the AAW. First of all, HatShot or whatever you call yourself, you should forthwith be changing your name to “No Shot” because that’s all you ever had with The Slinger – No Shot. So to make your life easier, I’ve already had my lawyer draw up the official paperwork for the name change. You should be seeing it in the mail. Even with your little Legion of Dork friends, I still won. You see, sparky, it don’t pay to cheat. Especially with The Slinger around. I knew that if I just hung on, it wouldn’t be long before I was jumped. You’re more predictable then an episode of Three’s Company. I truly am sorry that I won’t be around to kick you sorry ass, or your friend’s sorry ass anymore either. Look at the bright side son, at least you and all your little friend’s lives will be easier without me stomping on your pissant little faces.
Speaking of pissant, that brings me to my good lil’ buddy Nomad. I’m glad I got your attention at Shock Night my friend. I’m so pleased that you’re obsessed with me and all, but let me warn you right now. I don’t like you, I don’t like your friends, and I sure as hell don’t like your accusations. I was complaining “everyday” was I? Hmmmmmm, although there was never a shortage of moronic drivel around as long as you were there, I must say that I really don’t have the time to complain “everyday” or every second day, for that matter. And yes, I did have several complaints, however I think that you’re just a little upset because most of them revolved around your little pathetic attempts to do just about anything. That’s why I left, sparky, because you and all your little rantings just got to be too damn much. So , if you like, brag away about how you drove me from the AAW. Just bear this in mind – I got sick and tired of standing in the pool of shit, and getting splashed.
The Slinger motions over to someone off camera and yells “fire it up”. A buzzing noise can be heard. The Slinger lifts his belt off of his shoulders, and polishes it a little with one sleeve. He begins to walk to his right, and the camera pans with him.
The Slinger – You see, kiddies, I’ve finally found some real talent, and some professional people. I’ve finally found some worthy competition. My agent, Stevie Z said that it cost quite a bit of money to get out of my contract with the AAW, but I can tell you, it was worth every penny. Unfortunately, I was forced into that final match on Shock Night, but hey, it was a good chance to prove to the TTSWF that I’m worthy of the signing. Obviously though, it would be unfair to keep the Golden Title Belt, so am going to send it back to you Nomad. And then, you kids don’t ever have to worry about lil’ ol’ Slinger playing in your sandbox again.
The camera pans a little more to show……an industrial grade wood chipper! It is running on low, and the assistant attaches a pail to the end pipe of the machine. The Slinger walks over to the front of the chipper, and gives his assistant the “thumbs up”. The assistant throws a lever on the chipper, and it kicks into high gear with a deafening roar. The Slinger kisses the Golden Title belt one last time, and then tosses it into the chipper!! The chipper slows down momentarily with a loud grinding noise, and then roars again. The assistant shuts down the machine, and silence is once again restored. The assistant then runs to the other end of the machine, unhooks the pail and runs back and hands it to The Slinger. The Slinger reaches inside with a leather-gloved hand, and puts out a handful of ground up leather and gold shavings. He holds it up to the camera.
The Slinger – There ya go Nomad, you can expect this in the mail in a few days.
The Slinger hands the pail to his assistant, says “get this to that wanker Nomad” and walks away.
The picture goes to static, and then we see that it was on a TV screen. The camera pans, and shows The Slinger standing there with a remote control in his hand. He presses the Power button, and the television turns off. He turns to face the camera.
The Slinger – Sorry you TTSWF folks had to see that, but it was just a little unfinished business I had with my old AAW buddies. I thought you might want to see it though, just so you guys know that I mean business, and that I will react without mercy to anyone who pisses me off. Now, however, I need someone’s butt to kick. Who wants to be an example? Who would like to be the one that I will send my message through? Ah, it doesn’t really matter anyway, because I will let you know who you are. I just pity you in advance.
The Slinger points his remote at the camera and presses a button………
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Replies:
- Re: The Slinger Arrives -- Nomad, 14:05:46 10/10/99 Sun
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