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Date Posted: 15:05:05 10/12/99 Tue
Author: The Slinger
Subject: Interview with The Slinger
**The Scene – The Last Chance Saloon, The Slinger’s favourite country-themed bar. The camera pans around the room before coming to focus on Jeff Pettingzoo. He begins to talk.
Jeff: Hello everyone, Jeff Pettingzoo here at the haunt of one of the TTSWF’s newest additions, The Slinger.
Suddenly, the swinging doors of the bar fly inward, and The Slinger walks in, spurs jingling as he walks. He motions over to the bartender waving. He looks at Jeff, smirks, and waves 2 fingers at the barkeep. He walks over to Jeff, and motions for him to sit down. He takes a seat opposite. Jeff opens his mouth to start speaking, but The Slinger waves a hand at him.
The Slinger – Hang on.
He gets up and walks over to the jukebox, looks for that one sweet spot, and gives it a hard kick with his worn boot. Willie Nelson is promptly cut off. The Slinger walks back to the table and sits down.
The Slinger – Much better. Sorry about being a few minutes late Jeff, it ain’t easy finding a parking spot for my horse.
Jeff looks at The Slinger, unsure of whether or not he is joking, and then starts to laugh when he sees The Slinger smile.
Jeff: You really had me going for a minute there! Anyways, can we get down to business?
The Slinger – Sure Jeff, oh, hold on one second…
The waitress appears in full olde west clothing, big skirts and big cleavage. She looks over at The Slinger and winks as she places the items from her tray onto the table. 1 bottle of Jose Cuervo Gold tequila, and 2 shot glasses. Jeff smiles up at the waitress, who scowls at him and rolls her eyes. The Slinger gives her a pat on the butt as she walks away, and she looks back at him and giggles. The Slinger pours tequila into the 2 glasses and hands one to Jeff, who looks at him with panic.
Jeff: No way Slinger, I can’t stand that stuff!
The Slinger – Do you want to interview me or not?
Jeff – Okay, well, maybe just a couple of shots. He takes the glass and shoots it down. He begins to cough and sputter, much to the amusement of The Slinger, who is already on his second shot.
Jeff -
The Slinger – Sure Jeff, fire away.
Jeff – Well, first of all, let me welcome you to the TTSWF. I’ve been watching you for quite a while now in those other feds, and let me tell you, you look like one of the best of the best of the best ever!
The Slinger smirks and pours another shot glass for Jeff.
The Slinger – Okay Jeff, we’re gonna play a little game here. Every time you try to suck up to me, you have to take a shot.
He hands the glass to Jeff Pettingzoo, who reluctantly shoots it back. It has the same effect as the first one, and now Jeff’s eyes are watering like crazy as well.
Jeff -
The Slinger – Well Jeff, I’d like to fight my first match as soon as possible really. I’ve been watching these guys for quite a while, and some of them have my respect already, but I can see that some of them are gonna have to be taught a lesson.
Jeff: Who do you think is as good as you in this league?
The Slinger – That’s another shot, Jeff.
Jeff – Okay, Slinger, let me tell it to ya this way then…..whodoya like around here?
The Slinger – Well, I like Jake Cavalry. It’s good to see someone else out there fighting for what they believe in, and passionately. Daniel Son has some good moves, and he’s really quick. Brad Steel isn’t too bad.
Jeff – Any one else?
The Slinger – Well, El Toreador is a very good fighter, but he runs his mouth too much. Same for Chucky, Python, and a few others. Then of course we have the totally psychotic Steve Black.
Jeff – What do you think about him?
The Slinger – To be honest Jeff, I try not to.
During the last exchange of conversation, The Slinger and Jeff have both had a couple more shots of tequila. Jeff is looking decidedly unsteady.
Jeff: Anythin’ else you wanna talk about?
The Slinger motions over to the bartender to get his attention. The Slinger then pulls out a CD jewel case from his inside vest pocket, and tosses it over to the bartender, who walks over to the stereo system behind the bar.
The Slinger – I just received my new theme, written by Shades of Gray. It kicks serious butt!
The Slinger’s new theme booms across the room from the Bose System. The whole bar goes quiet for a few moments, and then starts to applaud when it is over.
The Slinger – Those guys rock man!
Jeff – Wow, s’pretty decent. Did the TTSWF hire ‘em to do your that?
The Slinger – Nah, but their guitar player is a good buddy of mine, so he just showed up at my door one night with this in his hand.
Jeff – So we can spect to hear that when you next fight? Cool. Speaking of fightin’, Slinger, whens yer first fight gonna be, and when can we spect it?
The Slinger – Well, to be honest Jeff, I don’t know when I’m gonna get my first match. I don’t have a dance partner for Friday, but the week is still young, so who knows. I’ll tell ya what though, I’m just dying to get into that ring again.
Jeff –
The Slinger – Shhhh, quiet down man. I think you’ve had enough. He tells the bartender to put the bottle on his tab, helps Jeff to his feet and starts to carry him towards the door. C’mon, we’ll get you a cab.
Jeff Pettingzoo looks up at The Slinger with tears in his eyes. I luv you man, I really do. You’re my best friend….yah, me and The Slinger, best buds…..
The Slinger starts to shake his head as they walk out the door, and the camera fades to black…..
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