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Subject: Any tips on how to forget ur oldflame?


Author:
Ms. capricorn
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Date Posted: 02:48:59 04/29/01 Sun
Author Host/IP: NoHost/210.186.44.103

Hi!
My fren is having trouble sleeping lately b'coz he keeps thinking of his ex.
I know this is not a column of Q&A about love, but i know there's a lot of talented psychologist(did i spell it right?) and a lot of talented luv advisor from our batch.
Maybe some of u guys might think this is kinda 'jiwang' thing. But I'm just asking for an advice.
He had done a lot of things to forget her including asking for guidance from The Almighty Allah swt, but the memory of his ex won't fade away.
They broke up b'coz she said that he won't be able to provide her with a good future. Da thing is, he's in luv with this girl head over heels.
I would appreciate it if any of u guys can come up with an excellent tips on this matter. I've told him to move on & go on with life. But I still can see the sorrowness in his eyes.
I wanna help him, but me myself never fall in love. So, I guess I'm not good at this 'luv' thing. Maybe u guys can help me, eh? What friends are for right?
May Allah bless u all & keep posting new messages!
Adios amigos...

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Replies:
[> Subject: Tip Top toe...


Author:
Wannabe counselor
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Date Posted: 10:59:48 04/29/01 Sun
Author Host/IP: NoHost/203.106.71.235

A'kum,
dalam hidup ini kite tak pernah dpt lari dari masalah. Ingin merase disayangi dan menyayangi. Tapi bile terjadi perpisahan kita tak redha atas ketentuan Allah. Pada pendapat saya, kalau berlaku perpisahan ingatlah sekurang2nya kite PERNAH MENYAYANGI DAN DI SAYANGI. Dalam hidup ini x pernah ade org yg sentiasa bahagia atau sentiasa derita. Dalam cinta tak pernah ade ketawa sahaja, x pernah ade menangis sahaja.
Apa yg kawan awak alami adalah satu lumrah dalam kehidupan, bile ini berlaku jarang ade org yang dapat tangani ini dgn bijak. Saya mengaku kalau ini berlaku atas diri saya belum tentu saya akan dpt bertenang.
Tapi kalau kita fikirkan, kadang2 Allah tu lebih tahu ape yang terbaik utk kita. Memang kawan awak kata dan telah berusaha meminta petunjuk dr Allah. Tapi cuba fikir bahawa perpisahannya dgn temannya itulah mungkin petunjuk dr Allah. Cuba kita fikirkan takdir Allah. Mungkin Allah nak kawan awak nampak wajah sebenar gadis ini. Kalau begitu alasannya cuba fikir macammana nak hidup dgn perempuan yang tak sanggup bersusah payah membina hidup dgn kite. Kalau kata cinta kenapa x sanggup hadapi kesusahan bersama. Saya tak mempertikaikan cinta gadis ini, sebagai wanita emosinya banyak mainkan peranan dr fikiran yang waras. Sepatutnya kalaupun die rase kawan awak takde future dan die mencintai kawan awak, die sepatutnya menjadi pendorong bukan penghancur. Jangan lupa wanita adalah racun die juga penawar. Jgnlah tewas dalam perjalanan hidup in kerana cinta. Life must go on. Fikirlah kalau ade seorg insan membuang kite dr hidupnye masih ramai lagi yg sudi menerima kita.
cadangan saya......utk kawan awak

pertama, jgn die cuba padamkan ingatan terhadap ex die... hadapilah bayangan itu kerana semakin kita cuba melupakan ia akan semakin hadir.... percayalah saya pernah mengalaminye...

kedua, ingatilah saat manis bersama dia, kalau perlu pergilah ke tempat yg pernah dilawati dann dilepaki bersama kalau rase sedih nak nangis, nangislah.. tapi kemudian cuba fikir dan fikir... si dia mungkin tak pernah pun ingat saat2 manis bersama kalau tidak mana mungkin die sanggup melafazkan kata putus?????? Dan disaat itu anda akan terfikir bodohnya aku mengenangkan org yang tak sudi....

Ketiga, perlahan-lahan mintalah pada Allah jadikan diri seorg yg REDHA diatas Qada' dan Qadar Allah Sbb bile kita redha Allah akan permudahkan jalan. Dan bile kita redha, mungkin jika die milik kita Allah akan kembalikan pada kite atau Allah akan gantikan dgn yang lebih baik.

Keempat, fikirlah samaada kita pernah menyakitkan hati IbuBapa kerana sidia sbb setiap apa terjadi pada kita kadang2 adalah akibat perbuatan kita yang lalu..

Kelima, pesan Rasullullah pada Fatimah Az Zahrah, andai kite terasa ade beban yang tak mampu kita tanggung, sebutlah Subhanallah, alhamdulillah dan Allahuakbar.

Kesimpulannya, Tak de bende atau cara yg mudah dalam menangani masalah dalam hidup ini. Oleh itu mengadulah pada Allah. Ingat setiap yg berlaku ade hikmahnya. Dan setiap yg berlaku pada kita adalah janji Allah utk kita.

Lastly, apa pun awak cuba utk menenangkan kawan awak, bende camni mengambil masa. Susah bagi die utk kembali seperti asal dalam sekelip mata. What happens to him is something that is so hard to accept, there's a hole left in his life. Heart broken is not easy to be mend.

Yelah bak kate pepatah berat lagi mata awak memandang berat lagi bahu org yang memikulnya. Nasihatkanlah die perlahan-lahan.
[> Subject: Hmm...


Author:
???
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Date Posted: 00:56:43 04/30/01 Mon
Author Host/IP: modem-132-112-60-62.vip.uk.com/62.60.112.132

Assalammualaikum warahmatullah......

Saja nak tambah sikit....Hope it helps.....

Cinta sesama manusia merupakan fitrah yang di anugerahkan dalam diri kita daripada ALLAH SWT ...Cuma yang yang harus kita ingat, jangan melampai batas-batas yang telah di tetapkan oleh Pencipta Cinta...

Cinta yang pasti 100% di hargai dan terbalas ialah cinta kepada ALLAH SWT....Kerana ALLAH itu Maha Kekal, Maha Agung, Maha Penyayang.....The One and Only....
Tetapi cinta kepada manusia kadang-kala tidak di hargai dan tidak berbalas kerana manusia itu pelupa dan tidak sempurna....

Ingatlah, ALLAH SWT is our Creator and He is the One Who Holds our hearts and He can Make anybody to love and care about you....Thus, love Him first and inshaallah, He will make other people to love you as well with sincere heart.

How beautiful it would be if someone loves you for ALLAH's sake since ALLAH is Ever Living , The Eternal......

Wallahua'lam.......

Wassalam.....
[> Subject: Re: Any tips on how to forget ur oldflame?


Author:
Ms. capricorn
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Date Posted: 13:17:18 04/30/01 Mon
Author Host/IP: NoHost/210.186.44.177

Tenkiu so much for those two who manage to give wonderful advice.
Eventhough my fren is still in misery, but ur advice is helping him bit by bit to patch things up again with his life!
See I told ya already, there is a lot of potential psychologist/counsellor/luv advisor in our batch.
Keep up the good work & see ya guys at the reunion (insya-Allah)
Luv & peace to the world!
[> Subject: Re: Any tips on how to forget ur oldflame?


Author:
cdan
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Date Posted: 02:32:04 05/01/01 Tue
Author Host/IP: NoHost/202.188.207.251


hehehhe aku sajer nak selit...

satu mender ah aku cakap kat member ko tuh...
jangan terlalu mengharap!!!!!
kalau jadik ok...kalau tak...hampeh...
jangan mengaharap aper-aper pun dalam hidup nih....seriusaaa
[> [> Subject: Re: Any tips on how to forget ur oldflame?


Author:
noname
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Date Posted: 10:37:04 05/01/01 Tue
Author Host/IP: NoHost/203.106.71.166

Cdan ko memeng betul..........
dan teramat-amatlah betul nyekkkk....



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