| Subject: the time has come |
Author:
xjoshuax
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Date Posted: 14:35:33 05/03/02 Fri
I remember all of those dirty feelings, making my white clothes brown with soot and ash, the consequenses of disobedience. I remember days and weeks of regret, worry and fear, that something may have gone wrong, when in reality, everything wrong had already gone. I remember my shame, burying my face in my pillow and praying to God for forgiveness, but inevitably, I would do the same things over again. I remember thinking how someday I would get over this wretched condition, but I really wasnt too concerned if I did. I remember thinking that it was ok, to do things my way, to be prideful, to be cool, to make excuses for my actions, and even try to justify them, but what I found was that my actions had no justification and even though I thought I was fooling everyone, it turned out that I was the only fool. In all truthfullness, I deserve nothing, no life, no love, no happiness, but somehow a light broke through the darkness for a second time. Why do we have to fail to learn? Why do we think that God can be mocked? I may never know the answers and I guess I dont want to. I just want to get married tommorow and put the past behind me.
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