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Date Posted: 21:31:19 06/23/18 Sat
Author: nath
Subject: PTSD

The depression from my #PTSD post SA (in dec) is so huge that to rewatch One Mississippi (my fav show ever) looks tasteless today (&my job which was a passion before Dec(sexual assault)) is so painful for me because of the flashbacks at each phys contact (it's95% of the work)+ the dissociation(without mentionning the panic attacks before to go and locked body during work) i have there despite it was not where the SA happenned. 6months post SA and i still can't support physic contact even pillow touching my skin, shower's water i react/jump.

Just did the wkly rewatch marathon of One mississippi: today this show which is my fav ever feels tasteless today, went directly to the final scene(Alive track, which means alot for me) explosion of tears seeing how damaged i am because of my #PTSD/last sexual assault.

np again in loop these audios: Sia "Alive" and:

Looking for the spark i had inside me before december... where the f*ck it went??? my assaulter stole it, i want it back... visceraly want it back... / #ptsd

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