| Subject: Re: tonight's news |
Author:
That GRL
|
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Date Posted: 09:27:13 06/04/02 Tue
Author Host/IP: NoHost/209.97.107.205
In reply to:
aleXX
's message, "tonight's news" on 21:55:05 06/03/02 Mon
Alexxx,
Well,here goes!I tried to talk to this girl and she really is having a hard time with herself right now!It seems to be really hard for her to comprehend that she's okay!I don't know she seems to have some sort of hang ups...you know she feels like if she was so smart why is she sittin pretty in the position she's in!CAGED by her own doing!I think she agrees most of the time she can carry herself off and make the best of whatevers going on,but when she has to reach down deep and go to places that require soul searching,it becomes very painful...so she quickly wonders back to what she calls surface thinking!She wonders if you will not be able to Love her for this,and what love you have for her now might fade because of this!You know she feels like she is going to be tough to crack...she's been this way for so long,she's scared she doesn't know if she can learn how to let someone have her every thought,her feelings,let someone completely in her soul....it feels dangerous to her,she doesn't want to hurt anyone,she doesn't want to loose herself again.She tells me that she LOVES YOU,SHE REALLY LOVES YOU and that's what scares her...it's so easy to forgive yourself when you fuck up when you dont have this emotion there,but when it's there ...she's wondering if you could ever understand?!?She tells me that she wants to be able,she really does,that she misses you and she is so miserable when she can't be with you,near you...she misses your smile,she misses watching you play,feeling butterflies when everything about the situation is going just right,silently laughing on the inside when she knows you are for her benefit making an ass out of yourself,she thinks every day about that so called forward kiss that weather you know it or not carries her through alot of her days,she misses dreaming,dreaming about that kiss on stage it seems so far away to her now,but she tells me she's holding on,even with all her hangups,she has never wanted to hold on to anything like she wants to hold on now.One day she hopes to love herself,so that she can be loved completely,and she hopes that you can hold on because all she wants is to LOVE YOU,to ALWAYS LOVE YOU!Just a little message from that GRl in chat...
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