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Marina to Zoe and Bodack
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Date Posted: 17:08:50 02/11/26 Wed
In reply to:
bodack
's message, "Re: Eleonora, re: manipulation, etc." on 12:22:46 02/11/26 Wed
Hi, Zoe,
Thank you so much for your sympathetic note and trying to be helpful. It already helped me a lot just to let off steam here about my situation and then to get back such a nice note like yours, not someone just saying like "just suck it up, girl, and stop complaining, you probably need lots of discipline"--which I think I kind of expected.
You suggested, "Please talk to a trusted adult about how this must stop (and if you are in a very pro-spanking church, I mean someone out of this entirely, not someone who will gaslight you)."
To be honest, I am terribly afraid if I talked to a trusted adult about this, he or she would feel obliged to intervene and get city or state--or God forbid--police officials involved. I've heard about and read horror stories about the things that have happened to some girls and to families when outside officials get involved. Families pulled apart and totally wrecked forever. People getting convicted of crimes and getting jail time for "abuse". I would never never want anything like that to happen to my mom or even to Zoe.
Mom works hard to see that we get the things we need (or sometimes just "want"), and apart from my spankings she is generally nice to me and wants me to do well in school and wants me to have a good relationship with others that I deal with on a regular basis. She was similarly growing up and I don't think she is just mean or sadistic. I really believe she thinks my spankings are for my own good.
As for Trudy, I don't "love" her, but I guess I'd have to say I don't hate her either. I think she does have a streak of genuine sadism--meaning that I know she really likes spanking me and seeing me punished--but from things she says I guess some part of her thinks she is helping me to do better in the long run.
And there is one big plus in her favor. When she does get spankings from Mom, she is not hypocritical and given to whining or complaining about them, which I would find outrageous given how often she spanks me. She does start to weep tears when she is about to be spanked like I try not to do but still do a little, and she bawls very hard before a spanking is over just like I do. And afterwards she is not sullen or resentful or nasty toward mom, or toward me, who she is aware is usually right on deck to watch her get it. In other words, she takes her own spankings well and moves on without being a crybaby about what happened, and I do respect her for that.
So, Zoe, I really appreciate your suggestion, clearly meant to be helpful, but there is no adult I can talk to who could talk directly and confidentially to Mom and get anything in the situation changed. On the contrary, an awful explosion could occur in our family relationships if I confided in any adult who felt required to seek outside intervention.
As a last note I would just say I did feel the need to vent here a little, especially when I saw that others had complex relationships that also led to mixed reactions to the justice and/or fairness of their punishments, but all in all, I am annoyed and often angry about certain of the spankings I get, but I am not agonizing and moaning and pulling out my hair and desperate for some relief.
To be honest I was looking (hopefully) for some suggestions, how maybe certain "magic words" spoken at the right time had worked for them and might get me out of a spanking, or for something I might say or do during a spanking that might-- MAYBE--get Trudy or my Mom to stop a bit earlier and conclude I've had enough. Or that might get one or both to cut back on the number of spankings I get, especially from Trudy.
Small lies (like, "I've felt sick to my stomach since lunch!" or "A girl fell on me playing at recess today and my bottom and hip already hurt like crazy!") were used by me and worn out long ago--sigh!--but they did work once in a while.
So, again, I really appreciate anyone's suggestions, and I also appreciate all comments--really I do!--but I am not ready to blow up my world just to avoid having a sore bottom two or three times a week, if that makes any sense.
Love to you all, Marina
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