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Subject: Same offense, same punishment? Author: Intrigued [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 12:50:15 06/08/25 Sun The following is a hypothetical situation. I am not the original poster. The original is from nearly a year ago on another forum and the poster seems to be inactive. So here it is. Please consider the following hypothetical sitution: There are two 17 year old twins: Jim and Abby. Their parents are divorced. Jim is being raised by his father and Abby is being raised by her mother. By agreement between the two parents, they both have the same curfew. They go out on a Friday night together to see a movie. They then go to dinner. They do fun stuff together. They both miss curfew by 3 hours. Jim's father is not happy with his son staying out so late. As such, he decides to punish Jim by giving him one hour of extra chores. Abby knows that what she did was wrong and is prepared to be punished by her mother. Abby suggests that she should receive the same punishment as her brother. For the last 18 months, Abby has been well behaved. No problems at school. No curfew misses. Abby's mother has observed, in the past, that a good spanking at the right time has been very effective in motivating Abby to follow the rules she has been given. Abby's mother also feels her son deserves a much harder punishment than he got but his punishment is up to his father. What punishment, if any, should Abby get? [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> Subject: Re: Same offense, same punishment? Author: Kevin [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 18:51:59 06/08/25 Sun I don't think there's any obligation for the punishments to be the same in that scenario. Different households have different expectations and this would count as different households since the parents are divorced. If her mom spanks for breaking curfew, then a spanking is fine, regardless of what her brother got.

[> Subject: Re: Same offense, same punishment? Author: Brooke [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 04:39:56 06/09/25 Mon Hello. I just think 17 is too old to receive a spanking. I’d say ground them for a week but don’t give a spanking…

[> Subject: Re: Same offense, same punishment? Author: Louise Vancisic Vancisic [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 10:20:16 06/09/25 Mon Hi Intrigued, I'd say that the mother should decide which punishment would be most effective for her daughter. I agree with Kevin that the punishments don't need to be the same. What do you think?

[> [> Subject: Re: Same offense, same punishment? Author: Intrigued [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 10:23:11 06/09/25 Mon I agree with both of you on that point. So do you think in this case she needs a good spanking?

[> [> Subject: Re: Same offense, same punishment? Author: Louise Vancisic Vancisic [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 10:50:20 06/09/25 Mon In this case I would say yes. Even good girls should be spanked for bad behavior.

[> [> [> Subject: Re: Same offense, same punishment? Author: Intrigued [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 10:53:23 06/09/25 Mon The author of this hypothetical states that the mother says that a "good spanking" is effective for her daughter. Louise, how would you define a good spanking?

[> [> [> Subject: Re: Same offense, same punishment? Author: Louise Vancisic [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 09:08:49 06/10/25 Tue A good question Intrigued. It should be hard and embarrassing enough to produce genuine and copious tears of remorse. But it should not go overboard. And when it's over, the girl should still be crying but feel no bitterness. Is that clear enough or do you want me to expand on that?

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Same offense, same punishment? Author: Intrigued [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 09:10:17 06/10/25 Tue You are one of the most interesting and thoughtful persons on here. By all means expand on it and thank you.

[> Subject: Re: Same offense, same punishment? Author: Angela [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 11:50:43 06/11/25 Wed There is more to determine punishment than the offense. If Abby's mother thinks a spanking will help her more than extra chores, etc., than that is what she should get.

[> [> Subject: Re: Same offense, same punishment? Author: Intrigued [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 10:58:52 06/12/25 Thu Angela, what you say seems to make sense. As a mother how would you define "helpful" for a girl of that age and how might you define a "good spanking" as mentioned in reference to her mom in the original post?

[> [> [> Subject: Re: Same offense, same punishment? Author: Brooke [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 12:13:28 06/12/25 Thu Hello! It’s a good question about what is a good spanking. I think it’s a red bottom, many tears and the one whose bottom is red understands they were naughty.

[> [> [> Subject: Re: Same offense, same punishment? Author: Angela [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 14:10:08 06/12/25 Thu What I would define as "helpful" would depend on the problem I was having with my child. In this scenario helpful is defined. Abby's mother has noticed that a good spanking at the right time has been very effective in motivating Abby to follow the rules. That is precisely the problem here! A "good spanking" is however Mom has spanked in the past which she has found to be very effective.

[> [> [> Subject: Re: Same offense, same punishment? Author: Jamie [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 15:02:18 06/12/25 Thu Yup tears, red bottom and lesson learned.