Have spankings taken away my normalcy? -- Let's Talk Spanking

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Subject: Have spankings taken away my normalcy?

Author:
Douglas

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Date Posted: 15:01:47 12/26/25 Fri

For most of my life my only thoughts about spankings were that I hated them and they hurt. As I became a teenager this was mixed with resentment. I had thoughts like why am I still being spanked at my age? I also resented having a mother who spanks because I was aware that spanking was frowned upon today, it seems like a relic from an earlier time period. How did I get so unlucky to have a parent who spanks in the 21st Century? Plus there were other things I resented that are perhaps related such as my mother (who raised me as a single mother when my parents divorced when I was a toddler) being extremely strict and domineering, being impossible to please, finding every little flaw. Plus she is an alcoholic who is a "mean drunk" who gets verbally abusive after a couple of drinks.

So after all these years of resentment you would think I would want to escape from this and find a nice girl who is nothing like my mother. That would be normal. Well I must not be normal then. I have no interest in finding some sweet girl, getting married and living happily ever after. A girl like that seems boring to me.

What have I have found is I am attracted to women who are as bossy and b*tchy as my mother is. When a girl says something mean or hurtful to me I find myself turned on and want to get closer to her. Even my fantasies are not normal. Most guys love porn but it does nothing for me (perhaps that's a positive?). My fantasies include being a mid for a popular female celebrity and her not being satisfied, being angry with me and spanking me making her feel all the more superior to me because she is the celebrity and I am the lowly maid. I also have other femdom type fantasies that have nothing to do with celebrities.

I suppose what I am discussing here goes beyond the scope of the board? I probably need a counselor or therapist as this is deep in my psychology. Yet a side of me doesn't want to change and doesn't even want to be "normal" as that doesn't sound particularly exciting to me.

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[> Subject: Re: Have spankings taken away my normalcy?

Author:
bodack
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Date Posted: 19:15:17 12/26/25 Fri

I wouldn't say this post is outside the scope of this board. It sounds like your mom destroyed your self esteem and your ability to stand up for yourself. You need help with that or you are going to be miserable your entire life.

My mom wasn't as bad as yours but did destroy my self esteem and my ability to stand up for myself. Unfortunately find a halfway decent therapist is very difficult.

[> Subject: Re: Have spankings taken away my normalcy?

Author:
Shane
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Date Posted: 20:18:46 12/26/25 Fri

If you think too much about where your kinks come from, it’s going to eat you alive. As far as I am aware, there is no way to cure them so your best bet is to embrace them.

Plenty of men are into femdom. It’s normal and there’s not a thing wrong with it. Now that you are an adult, once you have found a lady that respects your boundaries, you can tailor it however you want, and only engage in activities your are comfortable with.

[> [> Subject: Re: Have spankings taken away my normalcy?
Author: Douglas [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: 14:45:41 01/01/26 Thu Well looking at it that way takes a heavy burden off me. I can't imagine onee day waking up and having normal preferences or what I see called vanilla. I might be young but I'm old enough where I am who I am already...most likely for the duration.