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>Dear Brody, > >I am neither Catholic nor gay, so I have no right to >offer advice, which may be terribly wrong, but I'm >doing so mainly to allay my own feelings that doing >nothing would make <i>me</i> feel bad for a long time >to come. Take that into consideration and if you >continue reading take what I have to say with a large >grain of salt. Maybe have your brother, Jay, read >this and advise you before reading on. > >You need professional help. By that I don't mean >doctors, psychologists, school counselors or the like. > You need help in knowing what the Catholic church >rules are. Like an accused needs a lawyer to let him >know what the law is. That means a priest. Can you >go to confession before you are confirmed? If so do >so, tell the priest everything and ask him if you can >still go to confirmation and how. If he says no, or >if you already know that the answer is no, then ask >the priest what to do. You have already stated that >you want the world to know, so start there. > >Now I tread on even shakier ground: My own ideas >about God are that he doesn't think the worse about us >for our thoughts, the kind that come to us unbidden. >If he does than I am doomed because I have had some >really bad ones. When Jaws, Jr. bit me I wanted to >beat him up, maybe kill him. Of course I didn't ><i>act</i> on that thought; I'd already instinctly >thrown him to the floor where he hit his head. I've >had some dreams where I did some really bad things. I >woke up from them horrified that my brain would >conjure up something like that. I have no control >over what I dream. Certainly God can't send me to >hell for what I have no control over. Only my mom can >do that, her version of hell anyway, the kind where >the lexan paddle rules. Ask the priest if I am right. > Maybe you can be a good Catholic if you don't act on >your thoughts. Not a pleasant prospect for the rest >of your life, but what is worse? > >In any case, I wish you all the best and hope with all >my heart that you find peace. God be with you! > >-Jerry
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