Name (required):

  Expression ^{(Optional mood/title along with your name) Examples: (happy, sad, The Joyful, etc.) help)}

  E-mail address (optional):

* Type your message here:
>Hi Daniel, > >I agree with a great deal of what you said. The family >often called me an old soul, and joked that I took >care of my mom as much as she took care of me. What's >the old saying about something being half in jest? For >a good portion of my childhood my mom was as much a >friend as a parent. It was just the two of us and >since I was pretty mature for my age, I can see how >that relationship just kind of happened. That was why >when she did assert her parental authority it was >often a bit jarring. However, the fact that I felt the >need to spank myself for real or imagined misbehavior >certainly indicates I could have used some more active >parenting. It was my solution to feeling adrift, and I >suppose it made sense to me at the time. Like you >said, kid logic can be problematic. > >As for my grandma, it's kind of funny to imagine her >punishing me. She may have been strict with her own >kids back in the day, but she was a typical fun, >mostly-permissive grandma with me. I was the eldest >grandchild by about 5 years, so she had great fun >learning to be a grandma with me. When she said she >would have given me a spanking over the whole glasses >mess, I'm not sure it's true. I think that was her way >of asking my mom how she handled it. She probably >approved of my mom spanking me, but I have a feeling >she wouldn't have done it herself unless I did >something truly outrageous, or if my mom was >completely out of the picture. > >>I have to admit I don't understand self-spanking. Not >>judging but don't quite get it. I can see how a child >>might try this because like I have said elsewhere, >>kids are crazy, and their brains are still trying to >>put everything together. >> >>I think there are many parents who think they are >>being kind but in reality, not so much. Children want >>and need both boundaries and consequences. They don't >>know how to express that and will deny it if asked. I >>sincerely believe the happiest kids are those with >>loving but strict parents that hold them accountable. >>For our family that was most often a spanking. >> >>I am not a psychologist and personally think most what >>they say is just rubbish, but I think for a 7-year-old >>child to feel the need to punish themself is a sign >>that parent is not doing their job... parenting! I >>understand why that may have been the case for you. >>Perhaps your grandmother should have stepped in more >>and filled that gap. It probably would have been >>welcome at the time but in the long run been in your >>best interest. Sounds like she supported spanking >lol. >> >>Just my take. Take it for what it is worth.

Notice: Copies of your message may remain on this and other systems on internet. Please be respectful.