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>It's good she gave you the option of taking the >spanking from her or your Daddy. It sounds like you >probably made the best decision. > >Kids are impulsive, that part of the brain that >filters out things they might say that could get them >in trouble usually doesn't develop until sometime >after puberty. I related this story sometime ago. I >was in a local grocery store, and I heard a woman >fussing at her daughter who was probably around twelve >at the time. The girl was obviously in a bad mood and >taking it out on her momma. Backtalk, whining, the >works. Her Momma was trying to be patient but was >getting more and more frustrated herself. I was >trying to not judge on the inside a little voice was >telling me, "That woman needs to take that little girl >to the Ladies Room and blister her bare little ass." >The drama from the girl built up and she asked her >Momma to get her something that wasn't a food Item, I >really didn't have a chance to see what it was. The >Momma said, "No I already told you I'm not getting >that for you." The girl got mad and threw the item >down on the floor and screamed, "GOD I HATE YOU!" then >she turned and stomped off out the door. The mother >was blushing and embarrassed. She apologized to me and >the cashier and stammered, "She isn't normally like >this, she got suspended from school. She's having a >bad day. I'm really sorry." I didn't say what I wanted >to say, but instead said, "I'm sorry, I hope things >get better." Then I paid my bill and started out for >the car. As I pulled out of the lot, I saw the mother >trying to get in the car because her daughter had >locked her out. > >I got home and took my groceries in and as I was >putting them away, I thought about the girl and her >Momma and the hurt look on her Momma's face. Then I >thought back to when I was younger. I was twelve going >on thirteen and had gotten into an argument with Momma >about something I had done. She had me over her knee >spanking my bare butt and still scolding me. I was in >the middle of a furious meltdown and during the >spanking, I screamed "I HATE YOU" My brother and >sister were watching TV and Daddy was walking into the >living room. and all three went dead silent. Staring >at us. When I said, it, Momma stopped spanking me. I >got up and instead of crying I was in shock over what >I said as much as everybody else. Momma had the most >hurt look on her face I had ever seen and had tears >welling up in her eyes, "I said, Momma..." She said in >a low voice, "Sonya Marie, Go to your room." I looked >at Daddy, Troy and Samantha then back at Momma and >said, I said, "Momma?" I saw her lip quivering and she >said "Go now, please." I went to my room, and sat on >my bed. Just staring at the window. I couldn't get >that look she had out of my mind. I sat there for at >least an hour, maybe longer, feeling like a piece of >trash. Then I heard a knock on my bedroom door and >almost jumped out of my skin. I heard, "Sonya, can I >come in?" It was Daddy. I was able to say "Come in >Daddy barely above a whisper." There were times I had >misbehaved pretty bad and Daddy had threatened to >"take a belt to me", which was never anything more >than a threat. But I figured it was going to happen >that night. He came into my room and closed the door >and was still wearing his belt. I expected him to be >angry but instead he was sad. and had the same hurt >look in his eyes that Momma had. I started to get up >and apologize, expecting to get spanked, but he said, >"Sit down Baby Girl, I want to talk to you." For the >next several minutes he told me things I didn't know >about Momma. Starting with "Your momma loves you more >than anything and she would literally give her live >for you without even thinking twice." Then he told me >how not long after they got married, she got really >sick and he almost lost her. Then there were two >pregnancies that both ended in miscarriage. He told me >the doctors suggested that she shouldn't get pregnant >again and it wasn't an easy pregnancy. She went into >labor six weeks early and I was a breach. Then he >told me that Momma always considered me to be a >miracle baby, saying that's what she would tell >everybody when she would be showing me off. Then he >asked me. "Do you really hate your Momma?" I burst >into tears and grabbed him, bawling and apologizing >over and over. He put his arms around me, gently >rocking me and stroking my hair. Then he pushed me >back a little, looked into my eyes and said, "I'm not >the one you need to apologize to Baby Girl. She's in >the living room right now, and she needs you." I >pulled away and started wiping the tears from my eyes. >Then he asked me if I was ready and I told him "Ok". >Momma was sitting in her chair, just staring at the TV >while my brother and sister watched the program on TV. >Momma was just staring ahead and it was obvious she'd >been crying. I walked over to her and Daddy walked >over to the couch and told Troy and Sammy, "Hey let's >go to the kitchen and get a little snack so Momma and >Sonya can talk. When they left the room Momma looked >up at me and I stood in front of her, Then I said, >"Momma I'm so sorry then I fell down onto her lap >holding her and crying while I apologized over and >over, telling her I love her and I'd never say >anything like that. again. At the same time she rocked >hugged and kissed me running her fingers through my >hair and telling me "It's ok Baby, Momma loves you >too." We sat cuddled up and talking while Daddy and my >sibs were in the kitchen. I've never said that to her >again and even now though it was over thirty years >ago, I still feel guilty about it and cry whenever I >think about it. > >It was great of your Momma to just keep it between you >and her. My momma never really brought up the incident >with me. I have talked about it some and will >apologize for it all over again, but she will just >"shush" me and say "Baby girl that was a long time ago >and I've forgotten all about it So stop worrying about >it." then she'll give me a hug, a kiss and a playful >smack on the butt while she's hugging me.

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