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>I was at a restaurant, age 10. And I was being a pain. >My mom warned me about getting a spanking, but I >didn't care if people heard. I knew she wouldn't take >me into the ladies room. > >Then my dad said, "That's enough. Let's go." I knew >I'd messed up bad. He brought me into the men's room. >There was only one older man there, standing at the >urinal. I don't know why I cared so much, but I so >wanted what was coming to be in private. Didn't turn >out that way though, I got it right next to the sink >and he didn't hesistate to wash his hands right next >to me. I was just a boy, not much to see, but having >it happen it in front of a stranger was something I >never forgot. It was the first time I'd been spanked >by my dad. > > >>Neuroscience has concluded that experiencing physical >>pain and experiencing embarrassment affect similar >>pathways in the brain. While spanking has largely >>fallen out of favor, there appears to be an unwritten >>rule that embarrassment lasts longer than pain and in >>my experience it's true. >> >>My mother articulated it very recently after I worked >>up the courage to ask her about me and my sister's >>childhood spankings, "you can beat a child black and >>blue but if a spanking is to have a truly long lasting >>impact it's much more important the child be made to >>feel shame." >> >>I asked why I was only ever spanked with an implement >>twice She told me that there was a face I would make >>after being told I was going to be spanked in front of >>my sister and more so my cousins where she had no >>doubt I was going to cry just from being spanked by >>hand. I would also blush beet red upon being sentenced >>which was a guarantee of the impending punishment's >>potency and effectiveness. I guess a red face was more >>important than a red bottom. >> >>Gary Steven (I hope you don't mind me name dropping >>you in this post, since I'm sure you'll read this) >>detailed a public spanking him and his cousins >>experienced in a shopping mall back in the 60s. The >>children were spanked bare bottom from youngest to >>oldest, with the 11 year old boy and 13 year old girl >>having to wait while the 3 younger kids took their >>spankings and watch a crowd slowly but surely form. I >>cannot imagine being in their position as those people >>arrived to watch, knowing they were going to be given >>no privilege for the modesty they surely had developed >>at their age. Both the blushing tween boy and then the >>furiously blushing newly teen girl were ordered to >>take down their pants and underwear in front of all >>those people for what I'm told was a prolonged over >>the knee bare bottom hand spanking. >> >>Needless to say, both the big kids were made to cry as >>a result of this, but I would venture to guess their >>tears were much more a result of shame and humiliation >>rather than the pain they felt, and it seems like this >>is what was intended. Pain was a natural byproduct, >>but the real punishment was embarrassment. If not, >>they wouldn't have been made to wait for the crowd to >>form and they wouldn't have been made to take down >>their underwear. To be honest, if the intention of the >>punishment was not embarrassment, they would not have >>been sentenced to a public spanking at all, clothed or >>not. I'm sure it made their spanking very effective, >>in a way that just didn't apply to the 3 under-10 >>kids. That being said, Gary did say he was happy to be >>spanked second before too many people showed up and he >>was only 8 at the time, which just goes to show the >>embarrassment the 2 big kids must have experienced. >> >>I'll detail some of my own experiences at a later >>date, but I just want to include one more thing I >>found on this board, posted a few months ago by >>someone named Roger: >> >>"Interesting you were more embarrassed in front of >>adults. I was more embarrassed to be spanked in front >>of younger kids, especially if I never saw them get >>spanked. >>Like once my aunt was babysitting a 10-yr-old >>boy/11-yr old girl. I was 13 and got in trouble with >>my 10-yr-old cousin Ned and his mom spanked us right >>in front of the kids! >>I had to watch Ned get spanked bare bottom and I could >>see the two kids grinning at him wiggling and crying. >> >>I took my jeans down when told but pleaded with my >>aunt to let me keep my underpants up. I was mortified >>to be seen half naked by two random kids! >>It was just a hand spanking - BARE BOTTOM - and my >>quiet weeping was from humiliation more than sting." >> >>That last sentence says it all. My question for people >>is, do you think this type of punishment is valid? >>Most spanking the goal is pain and embarrassment is a >>byproduct, but sometimes the goal is embarrassment >>with pain being more of a byproduct. In my experience, >>both being the one punished this way and having >>witnessed plenty myself over the course of my >>childhood, embarrassing spankings are more effective >>than painful spankings. I'm just curious what people >>think: if pain is something that can be inflicted and >>measured as part of a spanking, why is it or why isn't >>it more valid to do this than to deliberately measure >>and inflict embarrassment on a child as part of their >>punishment?

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