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>>First of all, allow me to apologize. Because I'm gonna >>be pushing the rules on this one. >> >>You are right about our electronic devices and their >>important to our kids and their social/recreational >>lives. My fourteen year old son and twelve year old >>daughter both have smart phones and my youngest boy >>who is nine has a tablet. Plus my kids are very active >>and very social. We also have a five year old (soon to >>be legal) grand daughter and she also has a tablet. >>The kids have laptops for school because that's almost >>a requirement now. There are also game systems in our >>family room and my boys each have a system of their >>own. My daughter opted out of that because she isn't >>that interested in video games. Finally we have a >>swimming pool. So for punishments we have a lot of >>options for things my kids can be restricted from. Do >>my husband and I still spank? Yes. When we decide it's >>necessary we do. It doesn't happen often. Because >>honestly, in my opinion, they don't really need it >>often. But they lose access to their devices or the >>pool much more than they get spanked. >> >>When I was their ages, I got spanked at home a lot >>more often than my kids do. Also, My kids go to the >>same schools I went to. When I was going to school, I >>managed to get spanked/paddled at least once per year >>from First through Seventh Grade. Before my parents >>removed permission for them to paddle us after my >>incident with the Assistant Principal in Seventh >>Grade. The School System abolished CP sixteen years >>ago, so my kids haven't been spanked at school ever. >>However, I just learned this week, the new >>Superintendent is talking about bringing Corporal >>Punishment back. There is going to be a School Board >>meeting that is open to the public tomorrow night. >>They are already getting a lot of pushback from the >>public on this and I look for the Board to overrule >>the Superintendent. At least they better vote against >>it if they want to keep their jobs when they come up >>for reelection next year. >> >>Anyway, that's my two cents worth on this subject >>based on what you said. I apologize if anything I said >>on this post is in violation of the rules of this >>forum and if you choose to delete my response, I >>certainly understand. >> >>Sonya > >I'll allow the passing reference in order to reply. > >The thing is, people who are pro-spanking as a >discipline for children always say spanking is a >"childish" punishment, and whatever few remaining >parenting books and resources out there that recommend >spanking - such material comes almost exclusively from >a conservative, Protestant, and often >non-denominational Christian viewpoint - almost all >agree that spanking is something you do with young >children and gradually phase out anywhere from the >beginning of elementary school through say the onset >of puberty. > >The thing is, anyone who is the parent of a >toddler-to-early-elementary-school-age kid ought to >know that spanking is wholly unnecessary. When they >are toddler through pre-school you can easily just >pick them up and move them if you need to redirect >them. This is true even in kindergarten and >first/second grade, really. And kids this age, by and >large, aren't doing anything so bad it can only be >resolved by hitting. People will say with the >youngest that you can't reason with them, and this is >why you have to spank. Well, actually, you can make a >kid understand NO very clearly without ever laying a >hand on them. If you can't there's something wrong >with you. > >So that leaves older kids. Now THEM, frankly, one can >understand the temptation - and <i>only</i> the ><i>temptation</i> - to want to smack their rear ends >to take them down a peg. The older ones are the ones >who get mouthy, disrespectful, flargrantly >disobedient, etc. Those things just aren't problems >with kids who are supposedly of the "spanking age." >And while I can understand the temptation to want to >spank an older kid who has just said "no" to a >directive like "clean your room" and then muttered >something under their breath about how dumb you are to >top it off, the reality is you aren't allowed to hit >adults, you shouldn't hit adults, so why would you hit >a kid? This is where all those devices and privileges >come in handy. Kids act like and probably do think >they are <i>owed</i> something like a phone and a >laptop with internet access and a gaming device merely >because they exist - you teach them that all such >privileges are <i>earned</i>, and teach them fast. > >There is really no need to spank a kid, ever. I am >not saying people who do are necessarily abusive, but >I am saying they are stuck on a poor idea and showing >a lack of imagination about how to move on to a better >one.

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