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>>>Did anyone else have ambivalent feelings when seeing >>>or hearing a spanking? >> >>I certainly did! >> >>Seeing a spanking upset me. Yet at the same time I >>felt an intense desire to watch, or at least, to >>overhear. But I would also feel guilty/ashamed for >>feeling that way. > >You have nothing to feel ashamed about, Carol! I know >so many kids who had those 'ambivalent feelings'! >Growing up, as I did, in Mississippi in the Fifties >and Sixties - and I suspect that things were similar >or at least not that much different in the rest of >America as well - spanking was extremely common and >very much the norm. It was simply a part of life. I >know from many of my friends and acquaintances, both >male and female, that I spoke to about this - those >that were happy to chat about spanking - quite a few >of them experienced feelings of ambivalence. Like me, >they all dreaded and hated spankings which back then >were invariably of the old fashioned, over the >knee/lap, bare bottom kind and along with being >embarrassing and humilating also hurt so much!! But >along with the fear and dread many admitted to >"getting a thrill" from the whole experience. One, >which as they approached puberty, became a form of >sexual arousal. Without going into detail the >exposure to the anatomy of both their own and the >opposite sex added to this excitement and erotic >arousal. I suspect that many of the kids who did not >want to talk about spanking had similar thoughts and >feelings as well. > >To be frank with you, Carol, in my own case I found >that by eroticising my own spankings (after I had >received them and the burning sting and throb had >subsided to a warm itchy glow - since during the >actual spanking itself all I felt was the pain, hurt >and humiliation) and those that I saw and heard >others get, it had some form of therapeutic value for >me. Since it brought something pleasant and enjoyable >to something that was, otherwise, entirely unpleasant >and horrible. So, without going into graphic details, >when after either receiving or witnessing I would >retire to my bedroom and 'relive' the experience! > >Now as adults, both my wife (who also received bare >bottom spankings growing up) have made spanking an >integral part of our sex life. > >I am certainly not ashamed about my ambivalent >feelings towards the spankings I saw and heard when >growing up! And neither should you be! There is not >even anything strange and unusual about such >reactions. You have nothing to be ashamed of at all!

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