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Subject: Re: After school Rituals Author: Ivana [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 17:23:35 11/27/25 Thu Author Host/IP: 144.126.133.74 In reply to: Anna to Ivana 's message, "Re: After school Rituals" on 15:29:01 11/27/25 Thu >>>>>>>>>Growing up in the 90s, I had a very >unique—and >>>>>>>>>surprisingly consistent—after-school ritual >>>that >>>>>>>>>shaped much of my childhood comfort and >>>>>>>>>self-awareness. The moment I stepped through >the >>>>>>>front >>>>>>>>>door, no matter the season or whether guests >>were >>>>>>>>>over, the routine was non-negotiable: school >>>>>uniform >>>>>>>>>came off. Every piece—shoes, socks, tie, >>shirt, >>>>>>>>>trousers—was removed with a quiet sense of >>>>>ritual. >>>>>>>>>I’d fold each item neatly, hang the blazer if >>I >>>>>>>wore >>>>>>>>>one, place the shoes by the closet, and set the >>>>>>socks >>>>>>>>>perfectly aligned. It was almost like shedding >>>the >>>>>>>>>outside world, layer by layer. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>Once undressed, I was expected—by my >>>>parents—to >>>>>>>>>remain completely nude for the rest of the >>>>>>afternoon, >>>>>>>>>evening, and even into the next morning, >whether >>>I >>>>>>>was >>>>>>>>>indoors or playing in the garden. Weekends? >Same >>>>>>>rule. >>>>>>>>>No clothes unless we were leaving the house or >>>>>>school >>>>>>>>>started again the next day. It wasn’t a >>>>>>suggestion; >>>>>>>>>it was simply how things were at home. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>What’s more, it didn’t matter if family >>>>dropped >>>>>>>by >>>>>>>>>or friends came over—nudity was the default. >>No >>>>>>one >>>>>>>>>batted an eye. There were no awkward moments, >no >>>>>>>>>comments, just normalcy. My parents never >framed >>>>it >>>>>>>as >>>>>>>>>something “weird” or “shocking.” To >>them, >>>>>>the >>>>>>>>>home was a private, natural space—free from >>the >>>>>>>>>constraints and expectations of clothing. They >>>>>>>>>believed that being comfortable in your own >>skin, >>>>>>>>>literally, was essential to developing >>confidence >>>>>>and >>>>>>>>>body positivity. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>Looking back, I realize how profoundly this >>>shaped >>>>>>>me. >>>>>>>>>I never developed a sense of shame or anxiety >>>>about >>>>>>>my >>>>>>>>>body. Being nude wasn’t sexualized, wasn’t >>>>>>>>>performative—it was just being. It felt as >>>>>natural >>>>>>>>>as breathing. I learned early on that my body >>>>>>>wasn’t >>>>>>>>>something to hide, judge, or apologize for. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>Of course, I understand this isn’t the norm >>for >>>>>>>most >>>>>>>>>families, and every household has its own >>>>>boundaries >>>>>>>>>and values. But for me, this simple, consistent >>>>>>>>>practice fostered a deep sense of ease and >>>>>>>>>authenticity that I still carry today. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>It makes me wonder—how many of our childhood >>>>>>>>>routines quietly shape who we become, long >after >>>>>>>we've >>>>>>>>>outgrown them? >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>Thank you once again Ross for sharing with us >>such >>>>a >>>>>>>>detailed account of your childhood routine. It >>>>>sounds >>>>>>>>like you had a wonderful home. Consistency is so >>>>>>>>important for children to feel safe and secure, >>so >>>>>>>>it's really great that you had such a consistent >>>>>home >>>>>>>>ritual every day after school. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>We try to keep a similar after-school routine >>with >>>>>>our >>>>>>>>boys. Like you, our boys remove all of their >>>>clothes >>>>>>>>at the door and put them away until they're >>needed >>>>>>for >>>>>>>>school the next day. Once they're naked and >>>>>>>>comfortable, I make them hot cocoa to enjoy in >>the >>>>>>>>living room while they tell me about their day, >>>>>>before >>>>>>>>they sit down to start their homework. Dinner is >>>at >>>>>>>>7pm, and afterwards they have a few hours to >>relax >>>>>>>>before it's time for bed, either inside or in >the >>>>>>back >>>>>>>>yard. Usually they will stay naked until it's >>time >>>>>to >>>>>>>>get dressed for school the next morning. On >>>>weekends >>>>>>>>they will usually not wear any clothes at all, >>>>>unless >>>>>>>>they need to leave the house e.g. for sports >>>>matches >>>>>>>>or to go to the cinema. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>Ivana, your boys' after-school routine is very >>>>>similar >>>>>>>to ours. I have two sons, ages 13 (almost) and >10, >>>>>and >>>>>>>when they come home from school, they do exactly >>>>what >>>>>>>your kids do. The only two differences are that I >>>>>give >>>>>>>them hot cocoa in the colder months and fruit >>juice >>>>>in >>>>>>>the warmer months, and that our dinner is at 7:30 >>>>pm. >>>>>>>They're also always naked all day and all weekend >>>>>>>except when they have to go out for school, >>soccer, >>>>>>>swimming, the mall or to go to the cinema. >>>>>>>If friends of mine or my brother with his wife >and >>>>>his >>>>>>>two children (a boy and a girl) come to visit us, >>>>>they >>>>>>>remain naked (in this very similar to what Ross >>>>wrote >>>>>>>about his childhood, nudity was the default). >>>Having >>>>>>>adopted this routine since they were very young, >>>>they >>>>>>>are now completely at ease, without embarrassment >>>>>even >>>>>>>in the presence of guests. >>>>>>>My older brother and I, when we were kids, had >>very >>>>>>>few opportunities to see each other naked (and on >>>>all >>>>>>>of them I saw him, never the other way around). >At >>>>>the >>>>>>>pediatrician, at the beach, during his bath, >while >>>>he >>>>>>>was peeing, but these were occasional incidents >>>>>(which >>>>>>>I've described in other posts to Dave, Sean, and >>>>>>>Spelvin). On these few occasions, he was always >>>very >>>>>>>embarrassed, and they were moments of great >stress >>>>>and >>>>>>>shame for him. I want my children to be >>comfortable >>>>>>>with their bodies, and I think this routine is >>very >>>>>>>helpful. >>>>>> >>>>>>That sounds wonderful Anna, it sounds like your >two >>>>>>little boys are having a wonderful childhood. I'm >>>>glad >>>>>>that your boys stay naked even when guests are >>>>>>visiting. >>>>> >>>>> >>>>>Thanks, Ivana. >>>>>I think your boys' after-school routine is very >>>>>similar to ours, so your children are having a >>>>>wonderful childhood too. >>>>>May I ask how old they are? >>>>>Do they stay naked even when there are guests like >>>>>mine, or do they wear clothes? >>>> >>>>Hi Anna, thank you for the kind words. Our boys are >>>>14, 12, and 10. Yes, they remain naked when we have >>>>guests over. >>> >>> >>>Hi Ivana, I'm very glad your boys stay naked even >when >>>you have guests over. That means you did a great job >>>with them. Congratulations! >>>I'm very glad especially for them, but also because >>>they are just older than mine and so I can hope mine >>>will remain comfortable for a few more years. >>>As I wrote to scamptoo we plan to continue like this >>>until they tell us they are no longer comfortable >(for >>>now, that moment is far away). >>>I can assume the 14-year-old has already started >>>puberty. If so, it's really nice that he's >comfortable >>>in front of guests. You must be very proud of him. >>>My eldest son is about to enter puberty. He's still >>>hairless, just a light downy stubble, quite short and >>>sparse for now, but his testicles started to descend >>>and enlarge, and his penis has also lengthened and >>>thickened a bit. His genitals are still a bit >>>infantile, but still different from his younger >>>brother's; you can tell his hormones are starting to >>>kick in. >>>For now, though, as I said before, he's still >>>completely comfortable in front of everyone. I'm >proud >>>of him. >> >>Hi Anna, yes, our eldest is going through puberty, >>although he is still quite small. He does not have any >>pubic hair because he shaves. He is comfortable being >>naked in front of guests because he has never worn >>clothes in front of guests. I expect our boys will be >>naked at home until they move out. > > >Hi Ivana, thanks for the replies and details. > >If he's still quite small and shaves, he'll look even >younger than his 14 years, so guests will be less >surprised to see him naked. >My children have been naked at home since they stopped >wearing diapers, so they're comfortable with both >adult and young guests because, like your children, >they've never worn clothes in front of them. > >Speaking with other mothers, pubic hair removal isn't >very common in early adolescence (for both boys and >girls). However, in late adolescence, it's definitely >more common (especially among girls, but also among >boys). At least in my city, I can't speak generally >for the whole of Italy. That's why I wondered if he >was more embarrassed than before or was still >comfortable with pubic hair. Sorry for the question! I >was just wondering how my older son might react, >although, as I repeat, for now, he's completely >comfortable with even the fuzz. We expect our boys >will be naked at home until they are no longer >comfortable. I don't think he is much more embarrassed than when he was younger, regardless of any pubic hair. As with your boys, being naked in front of guests is very normal for him. Of course, like any teenager, he can sometimes be shy and awkward. But this is also the case when he is wearing clothes. :) [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: After school Rituals Author: Anna to Ivana [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 14:20:22 11/28/25 Fri Author Host/IP: 169.150.218.78 >>>>>>>>>>Growing up in the 90s, I had a very >>unique—and >>>>>>>>>>surprisingly consistent—after-school ritual >>>>that >>>>>>>>>>shaped much of my childhood comfort and >>>>>>>>>>self-awareness. The moment I stepped through >>the >>>>>>>>front >>>>>>>>>>door, no matter the season or whether guests >>>were >>>>>>>>>>over, the routine was non-negotiable: school >>>>>>uniform >>>>>>>>>>came off. Every piece—shoes, socks, tie, >>>shirt, >>>>>>>>>>trousers—was removed with a quiet sense of >>>>>>ritual. >>>>>>>>>>I’d fold each item neatly, hang the blazer >if >>>I >>>>>>>>wore >>>>>>>>>>one, place the shoes by the closet, and set >the >>>>>>>socks >>>>>>>>>>perfectly aligned. It was almost like shedding >>>>the >>>>>>>>>>outside world, layer by layer. >>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>Once undressed, I was expected—by my >>>>>parents—to >>>>>>>>>>remain completely nude for the rest of the >>>>>>>afternoon, >>>>>>>>>>evening, and even into the next morning, >>whether >>>>I >>>>>>>>was >>>>>>>>>>indoors or playing in the garden. Weekends? >>Same >>>>>>>>rule. >>>>>>>>>>No clothes unless we were leaving the house or >>>>>>>school >>>>>>>>>>started again the next day. It wasn’t a >>>>>>>suggestion; >>>>>>>>>>it was simply how things were at home. >>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>What’s more, it didn’t matter if family >>>>>dropped >>>>>>>>by >>>>>>>>>>or friends came over—nudity was the default. >>>No >>>>>>>one >>>>>>>>>>batted an eye. There were no awkward moments, >>no >>>>>>>>>>comments, just normalcy. My parents never >>framed >>>>>it >>>>>>>>as >>>>>>>>>>something “weird” or “shocking.” To >>>them, >>>>>>>the >>>>>>>>>>home was a private, natural space—free from >>>the >>>>>>>>>>constraints and expectations of clothing. They >>>>>>>>>>believed that being comfortable in your own >>>skin, >>>>>>>>>>literally, was essential to developing >>>confidence >>>>>>>and >>>>>>>>>>body positivity. >>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>Looking back, I realize how profoundly this >>>>shaped >>>>>>>>me. >>>>>>>>>>I never developed a sense of shame or anxiety >>>>>about >>>>>>>>my >>>>>>>>>>body. Being nude wasn’t sexualized, wasn’t >>>>>>>>>>performative—it was just being. It felt as >>>>>>natural >>>>>>>>>>as breathing. I learned early on that my body >>>>>>>>wasn’t >>>>>>>>>>something to hide, judge, or apologize for. >>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>Of course, I understand this isn’t the norm >>>for >>>>>>>>most >>>>>>>>>>families, and every household has its own >>>>>>boundaries >>>>>>>>>>and values. But for me, this simple, >consistent >>>>>>>>>>practice fostered a deep sense of ease and >>>>>>>>>>authenticity that I still carry today. >>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>It makes me wonder—how many of our childhood >>>>>>>>>>routines quietly shape who we become, long >>after >>>>>>>>we've >>>>>>>>>>outgrown them? >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>Thank you once again Ross for sharing with us >>>such >>>>>a >>>>>>>>>detailed account of your childhood routine. It >>>>>>sounds >>>>>>>>>like you had a wonderful home. Consistency is >so >>>>>>>>>important for children to feel safe and secure, >>>so >>>>>>>>>it's really great that you had such a >consistent >>>>>>home >>>>>>>>>ritual every day after school. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>We try to keep a similar after-school routine >>>with >>>>>>>our >>>>>>>>>boys. Like you, our boys remove all of their >>>>>clothes >>>>>>>>>at the door and put them away until they're >>>needed >>>>>>>for >>>>>>>>>school the next day. Once they're naked and >>>>>>>>>comfortable, I make them hot cocoa to enjoy in >>>the >>>>>>>>>living room while they tell me about their day, >>>>>>>before >>>>>>>>>they sit down to start their homework. Dinner >is >>>>at >>>>>>>>>7pm, and afterwards they have a few hours to >>>relax >>>>>>>>>before it's time for bed, either inside or in >>the >>>>>>>back >>>>>>>>>yard. Usually they will stay naked until it's >>>time >>>>>>to >>>>>>>>>get dressed for school the next morning. On >>>>>weekends >>>>>>>>>they will usually not wear any clothes at all, >>>>>>unless >>>>>>>>>they need to leave the house e.g. for sports >>>>>matches >>>>>>>>>or to go to the cinema. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>Ivana, your boys' after-school routine is very >>>>>>similar >>>>>>>>to ours. I have two sons, ages 13 (almost) and >>10, >>>>>>and >>>>>>>>when they come home from school, they do exactly >>>>>what >>>>>>>>your kids do. The only two differences are that >I >>>>>>give >>>>>>>>them hot cocoa in the colder months and fruit >>>juice >>>>>>in >>>>>>>>the warmer months, and that our dinner is at >7:30 >>>>>pm. >>>>>>>>They're also always naked all day and all >weekend >>>>>>>>except when they have to go out for school, >>>soccer, >>>>>>>>swimming, the mall or to go to the cinema. >>>>>>>>If friends of mine or my brother with his wife >>and >>>>>>his >>>>>>>>two children (a boy and a girl) come to visit >us, >>>>>>they >>>>>>>>remain naked (in this very similar to what Ross >>>>>wrote >>>>>>>>about his childhood, nudity was the default). >>>>Having >>>>>>>>adopted this routine since they were very young, >>>>>they >>>>>>>>are now completely at ease, without >embarrassment >>>>>>even >>>>>>>>in the presence of guests. >>>>>>>>My older brother and I, when we were kids, had >>>very >>>>>>>>few opportunities to see each other naked (and >on >>>>>all >>>>>>>>of them I saw him, never the other way around). >>At >>>>>>the >>>>>>>>pediatrician, at the beach, during his bath, >>while >>>>>he >>>>>>>>was peeing, but these were occasional incidents >>>>>>(which >>>>>>>>I've described in other posts to Dave, Sean, and >>>>>>>>Spelvin). On these few occasions, he was always >>>>very >>>>>>>>embarrassed, and they were moments of great >>stress >>>>>>and >>>>>>>>shame for him. I want my children to be >>>comfortable >>>>>>>>with their bodies, and I think this routine is >>>very >>>>>>>>helpful. >>>>>>> >>>>>>>That sounds wonderful Anna, it sounds like your >>two >>>>>>>little boys are having a wonderful childhood. I'm >>>>>glad >>>>>>>that your boys stay naked even when guests are >>>>>>>visiting. >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>Thanks, Ivana. >>>>>>I think your boys' after-school routine is very >>>>>>similar to ours, so your children are having a >>>>>>wonderful childhood too. >>>>>>May I ask how old they are? >>>>>>Do they stay naked even when there are guests like >>>>>>mine, or do they wear clothes? >>>>> >>>>>Hi Anna, thank you for the kind words. Our boys are >>>>>14, 12, and 10. Yes, they remain naked when we have >>>>>guests over. >>>> >>>> >>>>Hi Ivana, I'm very glad your boys stay naked even >>when >>>>you have guests over. That means you did a great job >>>>with them. Congratulations! >>>>I'm very glad especially for them, but also because >>>>they are just older than mine and so I can hope mine >>>>will remain comfortable for a few more years. >>>>As I wrote to scamptoo we plan to continue like this >>>>until they tell us they are no longer comfortable >>(for >>>>now, that moment is far away). >>>>I can assume the 14-year-old has already started >>>>puberty. If so, it's really nice that he's >>comfortable >>>>in front of guests. You must be very proud of him. >>>>My eldest son is about to enter puberty. He's still >>>>hairless, just a light downy stubble, quite short >and >>>>sparse for now, but his testicles started to descend >>>>and enlarge, and his penis has also lengthened and >>>>thickened a bit. His genitals are still a bit >>>>infantile, but still different from his younger >>>>brother's; you can tell his hormones are starting to >>>>kick in. >>>>For now, though, as I said before, he's still >>>>completely comfortable in front of everyone. I'm >>proud >>>>of him. >>> >>>Hi Anna, yes, our eldest is going through puberty, >>>although he is still quite small. He does not have >any >>>pubic hair because he shaves. He is comfortable being >>>naked in front of guests because he has never worn >>>clothes in front of guests. I expect our boys will be >>>naked at home until they move out. >> >> >>Hi Ivana, thanks for the replies and details. >> >>If he's still quite small and shaves, he'll look even >>younger than his 14 years, so guests will be less >>surprised to see him naked. >>My children have been naked at home since they stopped >>wearing diapers, so they're comfortable with both >>adult and young guests because, like your children, >>they've never worn clothes in front of them. >> >>Speaking with other mothers, pubic hair removal isn't >>very common in early adolescence (for both boys and >>girls). However, in late adolescence, it's definitely >>more common (especially among girls, but also among >>boys). At least in my city, I can't speak generally >>for the whole of Italy. That's why I wondered if he >>was more embarrassed than before or was still >>comfortable with pubic hair. Sorry for the question! I >>was just wondering how my older son might react, >>although, as I repeat, for now, he's completely >>comfortable with even the fuzz. We expect our boys >>will be naked at home until they are no longer >>comfortable. > >I don't think he is much more embarrassed than when he >was younger, regardless of any pubic hair. As with >your boys, being naked in front of guests is very >normal for him. Of course, like any teenager, he can >sometimes be shy and awkward. But this is also the >case when he is wearing clothes. :) that's right... 😁 [ Post a Reply to This Message ]