Re: First meeting coming up -- Internet Romance Organization Advice Column

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Date Posted: 14:54:01 07/11/02 Thu
Author: Velocity
Subject:

Re: First meeting coming up
In reply to: Justin 's message, "First meeting coming up" on 21:18:42 06/20/02 Thu

This sounds exactly like my family situation. My dad was 18 when he got out of basic and met and fell in love with my then-25-year-old mother, who had two very young children. They had an extremely rocky relationship, lots of arguments and issues. He veered off in one direction and gradually grew to resent having to be a responsible person. My parents SOMEHOW made it to the 25-year mark, a year ago, at which point he finally admitted he'd had more than his share of affairs and wanted out "to find himself", and said he regretted marrying so early. He's now on girlfriend #3, a year later.

I don't think the age difference is as much of a problem as committing too early. I'm in a very good relationship with a terrific guy who is 7 years younger than me, and honestly, it doesn't make a lot of difference. But we're both way past our teens. I'm a military brat, and once even married an Army man (that lasted oh, about a year). It's a bare-bones sort of life, isn't it? Very close to the wire. I think it makes you *want* to commit too fast. That can be a problem. 18 is so young to be thinking about settling down with two kids. My dad was so unprepared for that level of responsibility. I hate to think of another teenager plunging into that situation. It was just as hard on me and my sister as it was on my dad and mom -- he had some major issues with anger management and impulse control, most of them just because he was, in fact, a teenaged boy!

My humble suggestion, and remember, this is only a suggestion, is this: Take it slowly. Don't commit so fast. Read a lot of parenting books. You will need them if you stay with this lady.

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