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Date Posted: 10:47:14 10/03/02 Thu
Author: Virginia Pulver (His Mother)
Subject: Sad Quest to Scatter Squire Caleb's Ashes at KRF
Greetings,
I know this is a rather unorthodox (therefore who better to ask than this crowd?) question, but here I go...my cousin will be visiting KRF soon and would like to scatter Squire Caleb's ashes on the tournament field. Caleb squired two seasons ('92 and '93 I think)and his times at KRF and other Rennaisance faires and festivals fueled him with joy. My husband and I (I was an Air Force recruiter in Boston back then) were in the apprentiseship program a couple years and I had the role of Queen Katherine's Guard one season. Who would my cousin need to speak with to make this happen? Do you think she could come to the staff meeting before the gates open and say a few words and scatter the ashes then? Or perhaps a couple words could be said at the pub sing after the last joust...a toast maybe....I wish I could be there, but I cannot. I know that part of Caleb is still there at KRF and it is the right place to scater some of his ashes...Can any of you help me out with advice and/or points of contact? E-mail me at vjpulver@earthlink.net or post information here - I'll check back later. Thanks to each of you for your help on this sad quest.
Ginny
In Sunny, Hot & Humid SC
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Re: Sad Quest to Scatter Squire Caleb's Ashes at KRF -- Squire Bane, 10:54:53 10/03/02 Thu
Ginny,
If you would like to contact me privately via email I can give you some info that may be helpful, such as the number for Joe D'Arrigo (Director for the Hanlon-Lees at KRF). I only had the fortune to meet Caleb over the course of a couple of days, but would be glad to help in any way possible to see his wishes fulfilled.
-Marc A. "Bane" Sawyer
Squire
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Re: Sad Quest to Scatter Squire Caleb's Ashes at KRF -- Wendy F., 02:25:50 10/04/02 Fri
My husband Dean squired with your son, Ginny, during those years. We are so sorry for your loss, and he was wondering how Caleb died, if you don't mind talking about it. Wendy F.
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Re: Sad Quest ...How it Happened & A Link to Photos -- Virginia, 12:16:48 10/04/02 Fri
Caleb was Sir Daniel's Squire. I remember Dean.
How did it happen? Caleb was riding his bike down a mountain road outside Payson, AZ. It was a memorial run for another guy who died the year before so there were about 100 bikes there. His beautiful girlfriend was right behind him on her Harley and saw the whole thing. It was a "tar snake" on a curve - he flipped end over end several times and had massive trauma to his head. They airlifted him to Scottsdale and we flew out there. He donated all his organs. He was living a great life - in college, in a band, good friends, and helping other people to find joy in life too.
FYI: there are photos of Caleb at various stages of his life on a website his cousin put together
-see http://www.radloffs.net/memoriam.html
Click on Caleb's name. There's photos of him in the chainmail he made and I think there's a snap of Ed the Duck in his chainmail too. There is one KRF photo.
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Re: Sad Quest to Scatter Squire Caleb's Ashes at KRF -- Lady Fair, 11:42:23 10/03/02 Thu
You'll probably also need to talk to someone at the faire itself (?Bonny, Kitsy). As unspiritual as it is, some states have laws regarding scattering ashes in public places. My aunt ran into some problems wanting to scatter her mother's ashes in a public park due to some board of health laws. That was years ago and far away, so I have no idea if the laws are different in the here and now, but I'd hate to see you arrive believing it is alright to do this, only to find out that there are legal reasons you can't.
Michelle
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Re: Sad Quest to Scatter Squire Caleb's Ashes at KRF -- Reminder, 12:33:35 10/03/02 Thu
yes, it is illegal in Massachusetts
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Re: Sad Quest ...Ilegal in MA -- Virginia, 12:26:54 10/04/02 Fri
Caleb's friends and family have taken small apothecary vials of his ashes to a variety of places that were meaningful to Caleb. Just a few teaspoons of his ashes were scattered at the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona Spain, from a castle in Ireland, over a valley in the Black Hills of SD, from a mountain ouside Phoenix where he rock climbed, in a river he crewed on, on the cross sountry trail he ran on, from a mountain is Austria, from a Harley at Sturgis, into a volcano in Hawaii and many other places.
I just hope we can find a way to scatter a few ashes on the tiltyard where he learned so many of the important values he exemplified.
Thanks!
Ginny
In Sunny SC
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Re: Sad Quest to Scatter Squire Caleb's Ashes at KRF -- Nike, 12:26:22 10/03/02 Thu
I would recommend picking a time, announce it on this board and then just do it. The more "officials" involved, the bigger the chance it won't happen, and I feel ash scattering is a very beautiful way to keep a memory.
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Re: Sad Quest to Scatter Squire Caleb's Ashes at KRF -- Squire Bane, 01:10:42 10/07/02 Mon
Squire Caleb has come to rest on the tiltyard, in accordance with the Wishes of his Family. Sir Joseph, Squires Wolf, Seana, and Brian were in attendance as I had the honor of delivering his ashes to their resting place upon the lists.
Rest Well Noble Friend, Forever interred within our hearts.
Squire Bane
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Thanks: Mission Accomplished - Sad Quest to Scatter Squire Caleb's Ashes at KRF -- Virginia (Caleb's Mother), 15:42:00 10/10/02 Thu
I want to share my gratitude to all of you who may have been involved in scattering Caleb's ashes and in the remarks at the Boar's Head. I wish I could have been there. There is probably nothing more difficult in life than accepting the death of a loved one and certainly nothing can ease the transition or diminish the ache that consumes the hearts of those who are suffering. Please know, good people of the village, how much it means to me that you shared these moments together. It gives me a sense of community and connection to know that people from our past took pains to honor Caleb's memory. The seasons we worked at KRF together taught us much about camaraderie and esprit de corps. It is evident that there are those among you who live consistently with the demands of those values. Thank you for all your help.
Ginny (and Mark) Pulver in Sunny SC
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Re: Sad Quest to Scatter Squire Caleb's Ashes at KRF -- Maralyn, 22:29:51 10/08/02 Tue
Dear Marc,
(...if I may call you that... we have shared something so intimate that I feel bold and call you by your first name...to be formal would somehow feel wrong).
You assisted my husband and me this Sunday at King Richard's Faire. We were a bit disoriented, as you may have observed. You were so thoughtful and helpful.
What you, personally, did... in placing Caleb's ashes, in such a respectful and considered manner... and then, together with Sir Joseph, creating "ceremony" as well... this was so meaningful for us...beyond words really.
You probably did not expect to do that when you woke up on Sunday morning, and yet every move the two of you made was perfect. It could not have been planned more beautifully. I am a visual artist/teacher and I resonated with the (extemporaneous) actor/artist in both of you as this took place.
I was torn, taking photographs when I wanted to also be taking a more active part. However, this record will be shared with others who loved Caleb. I believe they will be glad to know how special you and Sir Joseph made this moment.
I do not know how one thanks another for what you have done. This is not something covered by Emily Post nor sitting at Mother's knee. Obviously, your gift to Caleb, his parents, sister and to us is deeply appreciated and will be remembered within the tenderest part of our hearts.
I am not sure how to contact Sir Joseph but I shall continue to try. It took quite a web search to find the bulletin board and a link to "Squire Bane". Please know, Marc, that what you have done surpasses gratitude from all of us.
The quotations from Shakespeare at the Boar's Head (thank you so much) have brought to mind many other passages that I would offer to you, yet our sensibilities may differ as to what is appropriate, so I shall leave you, instead, with a promised corner in my/our hearts).
Sincerely,
Maralyn and Ed
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Re: Sad Quest to Scatter Squire Caleb's Ashes at KRF -- Squire Bane, 00:00:25 10/09/02 Wed
Maralyn,
I will be seeing Joe tomorrow at work and will pass along your message. Thank you for letting me be a part of Caleb's homecoming.
-Marc/Bane
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