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Date Posted: 12:38:39 11/24/99 Wed
Author: jason spence
Subject: i cant think a day without him yet i didnt even know him

its so strange i didnt know him and now i never will and i hate that, my life used to be based on not caring about people, especially people i didnt know. yet when i met everyone up huntington i gain a piece of sensibilty and my heart started to listen to love instead of speaking about hate, funny how one boys passing can make someone stop and realize that there is good in the most vile person. i know that i have problems with getting angry to easy and running my mouth and i try to hate but i cant on the inside cause i know its not right for my friends and for myself, i have been so bitter towards many but then the face and a thought of a young boy flashes in my mind and i break down and cry, but i dont understand it, i didnt know him but now i have dreams of him, i feel like i dont deserve it becuase i dont, i dont deserve to know the people i know, i dont deserve to love the poeple i do, and i sure the hell dont deserve to have fallen in love the person i have, but with that he doesnt know i have fallen in love with him and i hate the circumstances that caused me to meet him, and it was isaiahs death that caused me to meet the people i know and the person i would give my heart to, i feel ashamed yet given a gift of hope, i just one to give thanks to isaiah, thank you so much for bringing something i thought i would never get. happiness

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