Virus Alert! -- Fred and Gayla's Board

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Date Posted: 17:06:09 03/26/02 Tue
Author: Gayla
Subject:

Virus Alert!

If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes," delete it immediately. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer.

It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs to passive voice and incorporating undetectable mispellings which grossly change the interpretations of key sentences.

It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings so all your ice cream melts. It wantonly removes the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, and refills your skim milk with whole.

It will program your phone AutoDial to call only 1-900 phone sex numbers. It will hide your car keys when you are late for work and interfere with your car radio so that you only hear static while stuck in traffic.

It will drink all your beer. It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are expecting company. It will leave the toilet seat up and leave the hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bath tub.

It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back. It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a way that is only fun until someone loses an eye.

It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve. These are just a few signs of infection.
PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!!

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Replies:

Re: Virus Alert! -- Ada, 17:43:33 03/26/02 Tue