| Subject: suy gam : distorted ZEN |
Author:
kng
|
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Date Posted: Fri, Feb 14 2003, 10:20:58
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for
> >I
> >may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the
> >hell alone.
> >
> >2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a
> >leaky
> >tire.
> >
> >3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your
> >neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
> >
> >4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.
> >
> >5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
> >
> >6. No one is listening until you fart.
> >
> >7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
> >
> >8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
> >
> >9 . If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car
> >payments.
> >
> >10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
> >That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their
> >shoes.
> >
> >11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
> >
> >12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and
> >he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
> >
> >13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
> >probably
> >worth it.
> >
> >14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
> >
> >15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are a windshield.
> >
> >16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
> >
> >17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from
> >bad judgment.
> >
> >18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it
> >back in your pocket.
> >
> >19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
> >
> >20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and
> >it
> >holds the universe together.
> >
> >21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
> >
> >22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
> >
> >23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
> >
> >24. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
> >
> >25. We are born naked, wet, hungry, and get slapped on our ass...then
> >things
> >get worse.
> >
> >26. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on
> >the same night.
> >
> >27. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
> >
> >28. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too
> >seriously.
> >
> >29. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
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