| Subject: gui Binh Nguyen |
Author:
nkn
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Date Posted: Sun, Mar 09 2003, 19:27:23
In reply to:
BinhNguyen
's message, "Than gui Watcher," on Sun, Mar 09 2003, 11:49:59
ban BN a. , that ra ai cung muon chung thuy ? , co mot bf dde o ddoi` va hanh phuc voi nhau .
Khong phai? ai cung nhu* ban nghi? ddau ! Theo thongke chung toi phong van hon 2000 viet gays thi` co 90% la` muon co hanh phuc voi 1 bf .
Nhung ,....biet bao trac tro*? Sau dday la` 10 dduc tinh can^` co' dde^? co dduoc mot tinh yeu lau dai` :
1. muon chung thuy hai nguoi` phai? cung`quyet ddinh quan he lau dai` (commitment). It takes two to tango !Ca hai cung` noi' rang` tu*` baygio tro*? ve sau , hai chung ta se song chung voi nhau va yeu nhau mai mai.
2. trong cuoc song lua ddoi (relationship) hai nguoi`hoa thuan va nhuong nhin nhau (compromise).
3. hai nguoi phai co dduc tinh' "ton trong lan nhau ". (respect) . Thi' du : toi thay mot trai khac' ddep , long toi ham muon, nhung vi` toi ton trong anh va tinh` yeu cua chung ta , toi khong chay theo trai kia .
4. hai nguoi phai tin tuong lan nhau (trust) . Thi du: anh ddi lam ve tre^? , toi tin tuong anh . Do ddo' toi khong ghen bay va khong gay chuyen hoi? sao ddi lam ve tre^? , hay la` ddi voi trai nao` ? Vi thieu tin tuong moi' co nhung hieu lam^` gay su*. ddo^? vo*? .
5. hai nguoi phai lo cho nhau , san soc cho nhau (caring). Nhat la trong thoi buoi kinh te kho khan , mot nguoi` phai? chiu ddam dduong lam` viec nuoi nguoi kia , khi nguoi yeu cua minh` khong co cong an viec lam` .
6. hai nguoi yeu nhau phai tao. mot su*. cam thong (understanding). hai nguoi phai tim` hieu nhung su giong nhau va khac biet giua hai nguoi` , va luon luon co gang ddat minh` trong truong hop cua nguoi kia dde^? hieu tam ly va tu tuong cua nguoi yeu minh` . Nhung su ddo vo cua nhung cuoc tinh` la` do hai ben khong chiu hieu nhau (70%). Con` 30% kia la` do co' nguoi yeu khac'.
7. hai nguoi cung` phai? co' tinh' rong luong tha thu*' cho nhau (magnanimity). Minh` phai hieu bf cua minh` khong phai? la` hoan toan` , co the^? loi lam trong nhieu viec , trong cach song hay doi xu voi minh` , hoac ddoi voi gia ddinh` cua minh` hay d/v nguoi khac .
8.hai nguoi phai cung co' dduc tinh' coi mo va chinh truc(openness, integrity). Mo.i viec hai nguoi cung` coi mo , tam su , chia xe va khong dau diem . Long chinh truc la` mot dduc tinh' cao ca giup giai quyet nhieu van dde trong ddoi` song vat chat va tinh than cua hai nguoi`.
9.hai nguoi yeu song^' voi nhau phai? co trach nhiem voi nhau (mutual responsibility). Vi toi yeu nguoi kia , toi co trach nhiem ddoi voi' an sinh va hanh phuc cua nguoi kia. Co nhieu cap trai yeu nhau , khong thay^" co su*. rang buoc nhau nhu* cap vo chong binh thuong , do ddo'khong ddat nang van dde trach nhiem voi nhau . Chinh ddiem nay` lam` cho ho vo trach nhiem va khong nghi? xa trong quan he cua hai trai. Thi du : vi` toi yeu mot em trai kia , toi co trach nhiem lo cho no' hoc thanh tai` , trong kha nang cua toi . Vi` toi yeu anh chang` kia , toi co trach nhiem lo nha` cua dday^` ddu? dde^? hai ddua chung toi co the chung song^'hanh phuc. Trach nhiem tinh than nay` rat lon' khi hai nguoi` dda~ yeu nhau va` quyet ddinh chung song^' . Khong the^? noi' rang(` " xin loi em , anh phai? ve^` ddi lay vo*. vi` cha me. anh bat buoc " .DDau con` la` trach nhiem trong tinh` yeu ? Chung toi gap nhieu ban VG ddua ly do nay` giai thich su chia ly giua hai nguoi` .
10.hai nguoi` phai? co dduc tinh' hy sinh (devotion , sacrifice). Du` trong kho' khan tan cung` , minh` phai? hy sinh tien bac , tinh than , suc khoe cua minh` cho nguoi yeu cua minh` . Thi du : bf cua ban bi. xe ddung , liet hai chan va liet duong . Ban van^~ yeu nguoi bf ddo' , hang` ngay` van^~ lo com chao' cho no' , tinh` duc cua hai nguoi` coi nhu* la` cham dut roi^` . Nhung ban van^~ khong phan` nan` , va tiep tuc hy sinh ban? than cua minh` cho nguoi yeu .Ban khong ddi tim` tinh duc ngoai` dduong` .
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