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The Veeckster LMAOing@!!
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Date Posted: 02:07:18 06/29/02 Sat
Author Host/IP: 67.24.226.118
In reply to:
IC2
's message, "The newest terrorist threat" on 19:29:17 06/27/02 Thu
dANG bud that is Hilarious!!
:)
>The newest terrorist threat
>
>UPI International
>18 JUN 02
>
>Kansas City - An American Airlines flight enroute from
>Los Angeles to JFK airport in New York City was
>diverted to Kansas City yesterday when a passenger was
>noticed attempting to light a fuse protruding from his
>rectum.
>
>Flight Attendant Bunny Haggarty said she noticed the
>man seated in an aisle seat leaning forward and
>holding a cigarette lighter behind his legs. "I
>thought he was just trying to light a fart," said
>Haggarty, "like our pilots are always doing on
>layovers." Then I saw this string-like thing hanging
>from his ass, and I got scared." Haggarty immediately
>called for assistance. Several male passengers subdued
>the man before he was able to light the fuse.
>
>After landing in Kansas City, authorities found the
>man's intestines were stuffed with military grade C4
>explosive. FBI agents stated that it would have been a
>complete catastrophe if the passenger had succeeded in
>lighting the fuse.
>
>The passenger, Mohammed Bin Ali El Batout Nabeel Sin
>Abba Rahim Mansour Ali Baba, Age 25, was carrying
>fourteen passports from various countries throughout
>the middle east. Asked why he had stuffed himself full
>of plastic explosives, Ali Baba stated, "I was
>planning to blow the chit out of the plane. I wanted
>to kill all the Americans and Jews to show that we are
>a peace loving pipple."
>
>Airport security agents in Los Angeles remembered
>seeing Ali Baba as he boarded American flight 90. They
>were a bit concerned because his name could not fit on
>the front of the ticket, he was wearing a checkered
>tablecloth as a hat, looked like he was ready to kill
>someone, was reading an Al Quaeda training manual and
>had on a "Fuck America" tee shirt.
>
>According to Federal Airport Security standards,
>however, individuals cannot be profiled for additional
>security simply because they are young, middle-eastern
>men.
>
>The security supervisor, Leroy Jackson, said he was
>somewhat concerned with the way Ali Baba walked.
>"Hell, man, the guy waddled like he had a stick of
>dynamite up his ass! Had I not been on the phone with
>my probation officer, I might have checked this guy
>out some more. But, we want and need complete
>diversity in our passenger screening," stated Jackson.
>"Plus, we think the flight crews on
>those planes pose more of a threat to safety than one
>raghead with an exploding ass. That's why you can
>always find one of them pilots in barefeet, waiting
>for his shoes to be x-rayed.
>
>I love seeing the look on their faces when we make
>them do that," he guffawed, adding "I just hope they
>don't give those guys guns, cause they might want to
>even the score."
>
>Federal officials are now referring to this latest
>terrorist attempt as a "butt bomb." Security experts
>believe this could be even more difficult to detect
>than the primitive shoe bomb' used by terrorist
>Richard Reid.
>
>"I'm not sure how were going to check for butt bombs,"
>stated Jackson. "We don't have technology to do it,
>but we've got to check somehow in the interest of
>safety," adding, "I think we should start with Flight
>Crews first."
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