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Date Posted: 06:52
Author: Cowboy - 4 April 2002
Subject: An Experience in Cosmic Conciousness

"Mukunda!" Sri Yukteswar's voice sounded from a distant inner
balcony.

I felt as rebellious as my thoughts. "Master always urges me to
meditate," I muttered to myself. "He should not disturb me when he
knows why I came to his room."

He summoned me again; I remained obstinately silent. The third time
his tone held rebuke.

"Sir, I am meditating," I shouted protestingly.

"I know how you are meditating," my guru called out, "with your mind
distributed like leaves in a storm! Come here to me."

Snubbed and exposed, I made my way sadly to his side.

"Poor boy, the mountains couldn't give what you wanted." Master spoke
caressively, comfortingly. His calm gaze was unfathomable. "Your
heart's desire shall be fulfilled."

Sri Yukteswar seldom indulged in riddles; I was bewildered. He struck
gently on my chest above the heart.

My body became immovably rooted; breath was drawn out of my lungs as
if by some huge magnet. Soul and mind instantly lost their physical
bondage, and streamed out like a fluid piercing light from my every
pore. The flesh was as though dead, yet in my intense awareness I
knew that never before had I been fully alive. My sense of identity
was no longer narrowly confined to a body, but embraced the
circumambient atoms. People on distant streets seemed to be moving
gently over my own remote periphery. The roots of plants and trees
appeared through a dim transparency of the soil; I discerned the
inward flow of their sap.

The whole vicinity lay bare before me. My ordinary frontal vision was
now changed to a vast spherical sight, simultaneously all-perceptive.
Through the back of my head I saw men strolling far down Rai Ghat
Road, and noticed also a white cow who was leisurely approaching.
When she reached the space in front of the open ashram gate, I
observed her with my two physical eyes. As she passed by, behind the
brick wall, I saw her clearly still.

All objects within my panoramic gaze trembled and vibrated like quick
motion pictures. My body, Master's, the pillared courtyard, the
furniture and floor, the trees and sunshine, occasionally became
violently agitated, until all melted into a luminescent sea; even as
sugar crystals, thrown into a glass of water, dissolve after being
shaken. The unifying light alternated with materializations of form,
the metamorphoses revealing the law of cause and effect in creation.

An oceanic joy broke upon calm endless shores of my soul. The Spirit
of God, I realized, is exhaustless Bliss; His body is countless
tissues of light. A swelling glory within me began to envelop towns,
continents, the earth, solar and stellar systems, tenuous nebulae,
and floating universes. The entire cosmos, gently luminous, like a
city seen afar at night, glimmered within the infinitude of my being.
The sharply etched global outlines faded somewhat at the farthest
edges; there I could see a mellow radiance, ever-undiminished. It was
indescribably subtle; the planetary pictures were formed of a grosser
light.

The divine dispersion of rays poured from an Eternal Source, blazing
into galaxies, transfigured with ineffable auras. Again and again I
saw the creative beams condense into constellations, then resolve
into sheets of transparent flame. By rhythmic reversion, sextillion
worlds passed into diaphanous luster; fire became firmament.

I cognized the center of the empyrean as a point of intuitive
perception in my heart. Irradiating splendor issued from my nucleus
to every part of the universal structure. Blissful amrita, the nectar
of immortality, pulsed through me with a quicksilverlike fluidity.
The creative voice of God I heard resounding as Aum,1 the vibration
of the Cosmic Motor.

Suddenly the breath returned to my lungs. With a disappointment
almost unbearable, I realized that my infinite immensity was lost.
Once more I was limited to the humiliating cage of a body, not easily
accommodative to the Spirit. Like a prodigal child, I had run away
from my macrocosmic home and imprisoned myself in a narrow microcosm.

My guru was standing motionless before me; I started to drop at his
holy feet in gratitude for the experience in cosmic consciousness
which I had long passionately sought. He held me upright, and spoke
calmly, unpretentiously.

"You must not get overdrunk with ecstasy. Much work yet remains for
you in the world. Come; let us sweep the balcony floor; then we shall
walk by the Ganges."

I fetched a broom; Master, I knew, was teaching me the secret of
balanced living. The soul must stretch over the cosmogonic abysses,
while the body performs its daily duties. When we set out later for a
stroll, I was still entranced in unspeakable rapture. I saw our
bodies as two astral pictures, moving over a road by the river whose
essence was sheer light.

Autobiography of a Yogi excerpt, chaper 14

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