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Date Posted: 10:44
Author: ketch - 24 Dec 2001
Subject: Santa Claus true identity revealed

For the first time I can exclusively reveal the identity of Father Christmas. It’s very obvious if you think about it. Sometimes we cannot see what’s right underneath our red noses.

Look at any picture of Santa Claus, what do we see? An old man, grossly overweight, terrible beard, appalling dress sense. Who could it be except Norman Paulsen? Most adults probably think that Norman Paulsen is a just a myth, but I can reveal that he really does exist, and is living not at the North Pole, but in sunny California – at least for most of the year. And where did he choose to set up his community and workshop? Santa Barbara – a dead give-away that.

When we know Paulsen’s real identity then evidence is all over his books. Take his description of a being called Waldo who Paulsen claims is an alien hitchhiker he picked up one day.

”The figure was male, approximately five feet tall and very slender. The age was difficult to determine because the facial features were so different from what the ordinary human being looks like. His head was bare, revealing closely cut hair. The crown of his head was pointed very visibly above a broad forehead. His eyes were small, darting, deep set, and exceedingly wide apart. His cheek bones were wide set also, tapering down to an extremely narrow pointed chin. His ears were unusually large and pointed. He had no luggage and dressed in a one-piece coverall.”

An alien? Ho Ho Ho.
From the description above Waldo is clearly one of Santa’s elves. He probably pretended to be an alien so as not to give the game away to the other person present besides Norman Paulsen. On page 270 of Paulsen’s book “Sunburst” there is a picture of Waldo the elf drinking a glass of milk and waiting for a meal of chocolate biscuits.

Think about it. Santa Clause has a flying sleigh with technology far in advance of anything known to most humans. Where did this craft come from if not the advanced race known as The Builders? And who is The Builder’s main contact man on Earth?

By clicking on this link you can find a description of some scientists attempts to create an anti-gravity propulsion system based on Paulsen’s experiences of inter-planetary travel. These attempts were not fully successful because Paulsen had not revealed the real secret – Flying Reindeer. Obviously alien creatures brought to Earth by The Builders to help Paulsen on Christmas Eve.

Paulsen has to deliver several hundred million toys all over the world in just a few hours on Christmas Eve. To do this he has to travel at close to the speed of light. Any Earth designed flying machine would soon burn up and the reindeer would be cooked better than a Christmas turkey. Clear evidence of extra-terrestrial technology and alien antelope which only Paulsen would have access to.

How did Paulsen become Santa Clause? It seems to be a family tradition, passed from father to son. From Paulsen’s book “Sunburst”.

I was soon to be seven years old. Christmas was coming. The tree was decorated with coloured lights, and packages were piled high on the floor beneath it. Inwardly I sensed the true meaning of Christ Mass…..

“Wake up, Norman! Santa Clause is here, and is in the front room waiting to see you.”
“Santa Claus is in the front room to see me?”

My robe was on the chair. I grabbed it on the run. The lights from the tree cast an eerie glow around the front room. Santa Clause stood near the tree in his red and white suit. Could he be real…..

Mother took Santa Clause by the arm saying, “Saint Nick, thank you for stopping at our house and leaving these wonderful gifts,” as she escorted him out the door. I marvelled in later years that Mom would never admit to me that Saint Nicolas was my father.

Strangely, Paulsen seems to have had difficulty in believing that his father was the real Santa Clause, but then his father may have had difficulty believing that his son was the real Norman Paulsen.

So tonight when you hang your stocking by the fireplace spare a thought for poor old Norman. Make sure the milk you leave him is semi-skimmed, and the chocolate biscuits are low calorie. Norman has a lot of chimneys to squeeze down tonight. Be careful not to upset him or he may leave you one of his books.

A very happy Christmas to Norman, and to everyone reading at this board.

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